Disenchanted
by twilightsgrace23
Summary: After tragedy takes her mother and NFL superstar step-father, Bella moves back to Forks to live with Charlie, his wife Sue and their two kids. She must learn how to live with all she's lost and all she'll soon learn about her past. BellaxJake BellaxEmbry
1. How Could This Happen to Me?

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

So here is the new story (the one I gave a sneak peak of in Pictures of You). Huge thanks to ShelbySue my totally awesome beta, who stuck with me from Pictures...we make a rocking team chica! So please read and let me know what you think!

**BPOV**

The motor groaned on Phil's wheel chair lift as it traveled down the staircase. I rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. 3:45 the green number glowed in the pitch darkness. I rolled back onto my left side and stared off into the darkness.

In the kitchen downstairs, the ice maker dropped three ice cubes into a glass. The cubes bounced off each other and hit the sides of the glass making an almost melodic tinkle. I knew what was going to happen next, it was the same thing that happened practically every night. I would wake up to some disgusting mess that needed cleaning.

The fridge opened, condiment bottles rattled against each other in the door. Thirty seconds later I heard the obvious thud that was the bottle of booze hitting the marble counter. This was Phil's nightly routine; ride the elevator downstairs, get plastered and pass out. I think it was the only way he could sleep. Not that I could blame him. His whole life changed in the blink of an eye. His wife was murdered, his career ended and he was bound to a wheel chair for the rest of his life.

I watched the headlights of a passing car wash over my bedroom wall, illuminating the faces of the photographs taped to it. I desperately wanted to slip out of bed and join him for a drink. Losing your mother to a random act of senseless violence would drive anyone to drink, even a seventeen year old.

I sighed missing my mother, my father, my life pre-accident. Outside, the pool lights flicked on, casting dancing waves of iridescent light across my pale blue walls. I took a deep breath and watched the shimmering lights dance across my walls. I pretended I was under the water, locked in a secret cave where the tragedy of my mother couldn't reach me.

I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again, the dancing waves were gone and the harsh Florida sun was blazing through the sheer white curtains on the French doors that lead to my balcony.

I yawned and glanced at the clock; 7:30. I slipped out of bed and peered down the hall. From my room I could see the top of the stairs, and I couldn't see the wheel chair lift at the top. I passed by Phil and Renee's room and jogged down the stairs, trying to stay positive; maybe today would be the one day I didn't have to clean up vomit or any other disgusting bodily excrement. At the foot of the stairs I called for Phil.

"Dad? Where are you?"

He wasn't my biological father, but he was more of a father than Charlie had ever been. Phil had adopted me when I was six, a year after he and my mother got married. I hadn't seen Charlie since that summer, and he didn't seem to mind at all.

I poked my head into the living room and looked around. No Phil. I groaned and headed toward the kitchen. I stepped into the light and airy kitchen; my stomach lurched. An empty bottle of Wild Turkey lay on its side, a shattered tumbler lay on the floor, its shattered pieces glittered like a diamond trail across the kitchen floor.

I followed the glass trail with my eyes to the French doors, wide open, their lacy curtains were blowing lazily in the sultry breeze. I rushed across the kitchen, cutting my foot on the shards of broken glass on the floor.

"Dad?" I called as I hurried to the door.

"Oh my God!" I screamed as I took in the scene before me. Floating face down, limbs splayed like a misshapen star fish, in the pool off the stone patio, was Phil. His state of the art wheel chair had sunk to the bottom of the pool.

I dove into the pool and fought vigorously to pull him out of the tepid water.

"C'mon," I moaned as I pulled him out of pool and began CPR.

"Wake up!" I cried, still pounding on his chest.

"Wake up!" I shrieked, my whole body shook violently.

"Wake up!"

I felt like someone had tied a string around my waist, and then proceeded to pull me out of the dream. The scene in front of me rapidly fell away as my eyes fluttered open and settled on the soft caramel eyes of the African American flight attendant.

"Are you okay, honey? You seem like you were having one heck of a nightmare." She smiled warmly at me, her eyes rapidly searching my face.

"I'm-I'm okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone. I'm sorry." I raked my hand through my short brunette hair. "I took my meds before I got on the plane, I'm sorry."

She placed her hand on my arm. "It's okay. Not a lot of folks on this flight. You'll be okay. Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head no, and the flight attendant stood to leave. "Wait," I called, reaching for her arm.

She turned to look at me. "How much longer? I mean until we land?"

She glanced at her watch, then back to me, "Just a little bit longer, actually. We should be in Port Angeles in about 30 minutes."

I nodded and thanked her. She smiled at me and made her way toward the rear of the plane. I reached for my carryon bag and sat back in my seat. I reached inside and pulled out my cell phone and powered it up. After the dancing robot did his jig, the welcome screen appeared. The small yellow envelope appeared at the top of the screen and a box popped up. _You have five unread messages. Read now?_ I opened the first message. It was from Rosalie; my best friend in Jacksonville.

**Hey u! r u n hell yet?**

I smiled and went to the next message.

**Emmett says we will come rescue u. just let us no and we will be there ASAP.**

My eyes misted and a tear slid down my cheek and landed on my jeans. I wiped my hand across my face and shut off my phone, not even bothering to read the remaining three messages. Shoving the phone into my bag, I turned to stare out the window watching as Port Angeles appeared out of the fog.

The pilot came on and asked everyone to turn off their electronics, return trays to the upright position and buckle up. I buckled my seatbelt, wishing that I could get off the plane and disappear in the crowd, just find the first flight back to Florida. As much as I wanted to do that, I couldn't. I had no parents, no home, no nothing there anymore. And not only that, but it was in Renee and Phil's wills that if anything happened to them I would go to Washington to live with Charlie and his two point five perfect kids and chipper wife.

_Only a year, _I chanted to myself_, you just have to stick it out for a year. And who knows maybe Forks won't be so bad. _

The evil voice in the back of my head scoffed at the notion that Forks, the place where the sun _never_ shone, wouldn't be that bad. I was a Florida girl through and through. Living in a place where it rained everyday was going to suck - and I knew it.

The planed landed with a bounce and did a sort of frog hop down the runway before finally coming to a halt outside the terminal.

The pilot turned the fasten seatbelt sign off and thanked us for flying Delta. I unbuckled my seatbelt and stood up on my tip toes, trying to reach my carryon bag. My fingers closed over empty air.

"What the hell?" I muttered, looked down and saw my bag sitting on the empty seat next to me.

I let the overhead compartment door shut and bent down, muttering to myself, and grabbed my bag. The flight attendant who saved me from the nightmare waved as I exited the plane. As I walked down the terminal, I glanced out the window. Gray and raining, go figure.

I saw Charlie and a tall boy standing near the wall at the end of the terminal. I hurried to join them, ready to start my miserable stay in hell.

"Isabella," Charlie said in lieu of a greeting as I approached him.

"It's Bella; just Bella," I said self consciously. _If you'd been half the father you __**should**__ have been you would have known that, _I thought.

"Hi," the dark haired boy chirped.

"Hey kid," I said, mussing his hair.

"I'm Seth," he laughed.

"Hi," I said to him.

"Uh, Isa-Bella," Charlie corrected himself, "We should probably go get your luggage, before something happens to it."

Charlie stalked off toward the baggage claim. I rolled my eyes at him and Seth and I followed behind him.

"So you're from Florida?" he asked, his eyes shining with curiosity.

I nodded, "Yeah, I am."

"What's it like?"

"Sunny…and hot. Everything Forks _isn't_."

"Wow, that's why you're so tan."

I laughed. "Yeah. My backyard has a huge pool in it. I can- could, go swimming anytime I wanted," I told him.

"You must be sad," Seth mused.

I barely had to glance down at him, he was almost as tall as I was. "Why?" I asked him.

"Well, because you had a huge pool in a place where it's hot and sunny and now you have to live here in rain city. I'd be sad if I were you."

I gazed at the abstract pattern on the floor. My eyes filled with tears. "Yeah," I said, trying to keep the tears at bay, "I'm sad."

"Isabella are you okay?" Seth asked, grabbing my arm.

"Yeah kid, I'm fine. But please call me Bella." I discreetly wiped my eyes.

"How about Zee, can I call you that?"

"Zee?" I repeated. "Why that?"

"Well, you don't like Isabella and I don't like Bella. And I doubt you'd let me call you Izzie, so Zee."

I nodded. "Okay, you can call me Zee."

We finally caught up to Charlie at the baggage claim. He'd already successfully capture three of my five suitcases.

"How many more of these do you have?" he asked irritably.

"Two more," I said in a small voice.

Charlie looked at Seth, "See, I told your mother we were going to need the van. Damn women and all their clothes and makeup..." he trailed off, muttering under his breath about frou-frou girly products.

I didn't dare open my mouth and tell him that only two suitcases had clothes in them. The rest were books. The rest of my luggage came around, and Charlie grabbed it, heaving it onto the flimsy luggage cart.

"Is that it?" he asked crossly.

I nodded meekly and followed him out to the car. The drive back to Forks was quiet. Seth talked to me for a little while, then pulled out his game boy and got lost in video game land. Forty five minutes of agonizing silence later, Charlie pulled the minivan into the drive way of a pristine two story brick house. The navy blue front door had a Halloween themed wreath hanging from it. The flower beds were weed free and had some strange bushes growing in them.

I got out of the car and stared up at the house that was now my home. It was about a fourth of the size of my house in Jacksonville, but it was nice enough. Charlie opened the trunk and started pulling out luggage.

"Seth," he called, "Put that damn game boy away and get your ass over here and help Isa- I mean, Bella take her stuff to her room."

Seth looked at me and rolled his eyes before turning off the game boy and sliding it in the back pocket of his jeans. He and I both grabbed a suitcase.

"I wasn't expecting you so soon, so I haven't had time to fix up the spare room, so until I can get a tech out here to hook up the internet up there you'll be sleeping in the attic. It's finished and has electricity. I just never got around to moving my office up there and quite honestly I am too damn old to be climbing that many stairs."

I stood there, suitcase in hand, staring at him in utter disbelief. In my head, the hardcore version of me was yelling, "Oh hell no, he did _not_ just say that." Jeez, I knew I was unwanted but that just took it to a whole other level.

Seth and I grabbed suitcases and I followed him into the house. "Don't worry, the attic is awesome. You're gonna love it."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. _Yeah, the attic is _awesome, the sarcastic voice in my head mocked, _you're gonna love it!_

Like Cinderella, banished to the attic I carried my luggage piece by piece up the two flights of stairs. After we'd brought the largest and heaviest suit case up, Seth flung himself across what I assumed was my bed. It looked like it had seen better days, but I couldn't be picky. No longer the princess of the castle, my fate had been reduced to that of a lame Disney princess in fifteen seconds flat. It would have been hilarious if it wasn't so damn ironic. _All that's missing are the singing birds and mice, _I thought sarcastically.

"So what's the deal here?" I asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Seth sat up and scooted back, making room for me.

"The kids, what are they like? Who's cool and who're the first class assholes?" Seth made a face at me.

"Don't make that face, I say curse words…get over it. And don't tell your mom and Charlie, if you do I won't be your friend anymore."

"Okay, well first steer clear of my sister, Leah and her boyfriend, Jacob."

Seth got up and went to the window. I followed and gazed out the dusty window at the idyllic street below. He pointed to a brick house next door.

"Leah doesn't like girls messing with Jacob, well everybody calls him Jake. But he's cool. His sister, Becca is my girlfriend."

I snorted, "Your girlfriend, please. You're like, what ten?"

Seth looked horrified. "I'm twelve," he said indignantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Ten, twelve, same difference."

"Anyways," Seth said loudly. "Jake's younger sister Becca is my girlfriend. I go over there sometimes to hang out with him and his friends. We play video games."

"Figures," I muttered.

"I heard that," Seth said.

"You were supposed to," I smiled and looked at the brick house next door, curious about the boy who let a twelve year old hang out and play video games.

"Becca and Jake have another sister, Rachael. She and Leah are best friends, and she's just as mean as Lizard lickin' Leah, so watch out for them."

"Lizard lickin' Leah?" I snickered.

"Yeah, it's what I call her sometimes. She hates it, but I think it's funny."

"I love it. Can I call her that too?"

Seth nodded enthusiastically, seemingly pleased to have another member of the "I hate Leah" fan club.

"So who else lives here?"

"I just know the rest of Jake's friends, Embry, Jared, Sam, Paul and Quil." He pointed to different houses on the street as he spoke the names. "I don't really like Paul or Jared, or Sam, but Quil and Embry are cool. They never complain when I'm there playing video games."

I nodded, still staring down at the street, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in?" I said uncertainly. I wasn't used to this knocking business.

The door opened silently and an average looking woman with long dark hair and dark eyes stuck her head in. "Hi," she said warmly, "I'm Sue. I just wanted to see how you were getting along. Seth why are you in here bothering Bella?"

Seth looked properly chastised. "Oh no, Mrs. Swan, he's not bothering me. Seth was actually keeping my company."

She looked at Seth. "Oh, okay then. Is there anything I can get for you? Do you need anything?"

I shook my head no. "I think I have everything I need. But thank you."

"Okay, well let me know if there's anything that you need. Dinner will be in an hour, okay?"

"Okay."

Sue left and I got up and started opening my suitcases. "Guess I better get unpacked. Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.

Seth smiled, "Want some help?"

I glanced at the suitcases then back to Seth's eager expression. "Sure, if you don't have anything better to do you can give me a hand."

He wasn't much help, but it was nice having company. Seth talked about school and his friends and teachers while I hung clothes on hangers and handed them to him. He'd take them and hang them in the small closet, prattling on and on about a video game he wanted to play or his character on some game called World of Warcraft.

I listened with genuine interest. Half of what he was talking about I had never heard of it and I asked a lot of questions. By the time we hung up all my clothes, Seth was gazing at me like an adoring puppy.

"You're so much nicer that Leah. Whenever I try to talk to her she screams at me and tells me to leave her alone."

"Maybe because you've been around her your whole life," I shrugged. "I was the only kid in my house in Florida. But I still think you're alright."

"That must have been nice," Seth said dreamily. His eyes glazing over as he imagined life as an only child.

I shook my head no. "It got lonely sometimes. Once I got older my mom would travel with my dad, like when he had out of town games, so I'd get stuck at home by myself. My friend Rosalie would stay with me sometimes, but it's not the same."

"You must miss them then huh?"

I nodded my head and tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill. "I do," I said softly. "I miss them so much."

**A/N So whatchaya think? Leave me a review!**


	2. Hold On

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

**Okay so real quick...everyone is about the same age, seventeen or about to be seventeen..except Leah and Rachel who are 16, and Seth and Becca, who are 12. Of course, my totally awesome beta, ShelbySue...she is the best and didn't even bat an eye when I sent her five chapters all at once..she's brave.. if you want some good fics to read check these out, they are the best:**

www . fanfiction . net/s/5358386/1/Midnight_Encounter

www . fanfiction . net/s/5367403/1/THE_MAN_IN_ME_Becoming_Jacob

www . fanfiction . net/s/4974708/1/Second_Chances

www . fanfiction . net/s/5105093/1/My_Personal_Sun

www . fanfiction . net/s/5096395/1/Different_Moon

**So read them and leave lots of reviews for these fabulous authors :)  
**

**BPOV**

Dinner was an awkward affair. This quaint little family of four suddenly had an unexpected and unwelcome new addition. I felt like the stray dog that followed the young son home from school that no one had the heart to send away.

Forks clinked noisily against ceramic plates and the sound of chewing and swallowing soon became a cacophony of noise that was absolutely unbearable. I wanted to throw down my fork and cover my ears until it all went away, till the noise just stopped.

Lizard lickin' Leah kept shooting me dirty looks from across the table. I flipped her off when Sue and Charlie were looking the other way. She choked on her pot roast and her fake-n-bake bronze skin turned a beautiful shade of eggplant. I snickered when she finally coughed the piece of pot roast into her napkin.

"It helps if you chew it first, Princess," Charlie said from the head of the table.

I felt a stab of jealousy at Charlie's pet name for Leah. _This man means nothing to you, _I told myself, and shoved the jealous feeling aside.

After dinner I escaped back to my attic prison, Seth hot on my heels. I went into my stark room and shut the door in his face. He knocked and waited. I went to the door and opened it. "Sorry," I said. "I'm not used to having so many people around. Come on in."

Seth flopped down on the bed. "It's okay. I'm not used to having a sister who wants me around. Lizard doesn't like me much." He smiled at me sadly and started picking at a small hole in his jeans.

"Okay, so I know this is gonna sound rude no matter how I ask it, so don't hold it against me okay?"

Seth glanced at me, his brown eyes wide as saucers. "What?"

"So like, what's our relation? Are you my half brother, step brother, mutant alien brother from another galaxy mother? What's the deal home slice?"

Seth laughed. "Well mutant alien would explain a lot," he mused.

"C'mon I'm being serious," I poked his scrawny chest.

"Okay, Leah is my half sister, she has a dad, but no one knows where he is. Our Dad adopted her when she was little. So that makes her your-,"

"Evil step-sister," I replied.

He laughed. "Exactly. Your dad is my dad, so that makes us like half brother and sister. So see, I'm safe."

"Well, you'd be safe anyway. There aren't exactly evil step brothers in the fairy tales."

Seth thought about it for a minute. "Yeah I guess you're right," he finally agreed.

"Yeah," I retorted, "I guess I am."

Seth helped me set up all my books on the small book shelf that sat in the corner opposite the bed. It was too small to hold them all, so I put all my favorites on it and transferred the remaining books to the largest suitcase.

"Wow Zee, have you actually read _all_ these books?" Seth asked staring at the books stacked in the suitcase.

I ran my fingertips over the worn spines of the books. "Yeah," I said nodding my head. "I've read every single one of these books, a couple of times."

"Why?" He said the word in a way that implied books were evil or vile; repulsive maybe.

"Because they're interesting and full of adventure and mystery. They don't write books like this anymore."

He looked at me like I had just told him that Brussels Sprouts were the most delicious food in the world.

"They are. Like this one," I said tapping the spine of a book whose age I had no idea. "Beowulf. You'd like that. It's about a man who fights these three bad guys and later he becomes king. And this one," I pulled a thin book and showed it to Seth. "The Turn of the Screw is a ghost story. Have you seen that movie, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman?"

Seth nodded, "Yeah, that movie was pretty awesome."

"Okay, remember the guy with the painting. If the painting was destroyed he'd die?"

Seth nodded enthusiastically. I held up The Picture of Dorian Gray, "This is his story. There are all kinds of cool books in here."

Seth's eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree. "Can I borrow one sometime?"

I nodded, "Yeah, but you have to promise to take really good care of them. They are really old and irreplaceable. And let me know before you borrow one, okay?"

"Okay."

Someone knocked. "Say come in," Seth whispered.

"What? Oh, right. Come in."

Sue poked her head in. "What are you kids up to?" she asked.

"Dude Mom, Zee has all kinds of cool old books about ghosts and haunted paintings and fighting kings. She said I could borrow one sometime, isn't that cool?"

Sue smiled down at Seth, "It sure is honey. It's time for you to get into the shower, you kids have school tomorrow."

Seth pouted and grabbed The Picture of Dorian Gray, "Can I borrow this one first?"

I nodded. "Sure, just remember to take good care of it."

"I will. Thanks Zee."

Seth took his treasure and clomped noisily down the attic stairs. Sue stared down at me. "May I come in and speak with you for a moment?"

I regarded her warily, unsure whether the whole June Cleaver shtick was an act or the real deal. _Proceed with caution, _my mind screamed.

"Uh, sure I guess." I slid the books I'd taken out back into the suitcase. She sat on the edge of the bed and glanced into the suitcase. "That's an impressive collection. Have you read them all?"

"Mhmm." I shut the suitcase and slid it under the bed.

"Well, I wanted to let you know that I registered you for school and that you can either ride with Leah or take the bus with Seth. I have an early appointment tomorrow morning, or I would offer to take you." Sue wrung her hands, her discomfort was evident and for the first time I saw the stress in her face.

"I can take the bus with Seth," I said softly.

She nodded. "Okay. Is there anything I can get for you?"

I shook my head no. "Thank you," I said.

"For what sweetheart?"

"Letting me come live here with you. I know what a burden this must be for you. I swear I will try my best not to cause you any unnecessary stress."

I don't know why I said that, it sort of just slipped out. I didn't even know this woman, but she had never done anything wrong to me, so I guess that was the least I owed her. She could have refused to have me and I could be chilling in foster care right now.

Sue stood, "There are no thanks needed, dear. It's what any decent person would do. The bus will be here at 7:15, okay?"

I nodded and Sue left, shutting the door quietly behind her. I glanced around my room and sighed. It was as homey as it was going to get until the rest of my things arrived from Florida. The full size bed looked cozy and inviting. I crawled into it and pulled the covers over my head and cried myself to sleep.

***

Turns out taking a shower in the morning in the Swan house is a big fat never gonna happen. As soon as I turned on the water, Lizard was pounding on the door. I ignored her screeching and turned my face to the lukewarm spray, letting the water rush over my head and into my ears, drowning out the outside world.

When I got out Leah was standing outside the bathroom door looking pissed the hell off. "You take a shower at night so that way the four other people living in the house can get ready for their respective days, orphan."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Whatever bitch," I muttered as I walked up the stairs. "At least I know who my real father is," I said under my breath. At five minutes after seven, Seth and I walked down to the end of the driveway to wait for the bus.

"How come we take the same bus?" I asked him.

"Oh because sixth through twelfth grade are all in the same school. They changed it a few years ago to save money or something like that."

I kicked some leaves that had collected in the gutter and stared down the street. Next door, the front door opened and three people walked out. The first was a girl about Seth's age, next a girl about my age and then a Greek god walked out of the front door. He stopped, calling to the youngest girl, then turned back to lock the front door.

"Dang Zee, shut your mouth before you swallow a fly or something."

My face burned, the heat flamed across my cheeks and set my ears on fire. Seth waved to the younger girl, she waved back giggling. She turned to the boy and said something, her hands flying in every direction. I watched as his resolve slowly weakened. He finally grabbed her hand and started in our direction.

My heart started racing, it was like a bird in a cage, determined to escape. Come hell or high water it was getting the heck out of dodge. He approached us, girl in tow.

"Here," he said roughly, "Are you happy now?"

The girl smiled up at him. "I'll be happy if you let me ride the bus with Seth and the strange girl."

He looked at me. His eyes, the color of the most delicious dark chocolate, peered into mine.

"Hi," he said in a deep baritone rumble, "I'm Jacob, this is my sister Becca."

"Jake this is my sister, Zee. Remember I told you she was coming to live with us."

Jake looked confused. "Little dude, I thought her name was Isabella? You got more than one sister, huh, you holding out on me?"

"I am Isabella, please don't call me that. I hate that name. Seth calls me Zee because he doesn't like Bella, which is what normal people call me."

Jake stuck his hand out. Seth eyed me warily and shook his head slightly no. I glanced down at Jake's hand in pure disgust then glanced at him. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you."

I was saved by the bus. It pulled up just then and hissed to a stop. Seth and Becca got on first, I followed behind them. "See ya later Jake."

* * *

Forks High was just like I imagined every high school in America was. The floors were scuffed with generations of sneaker treads. The lockers were a faded shade of blue and there were posters taped to the wall offering everything from after-school tutoring to tryouts for the fall play.

Seth showed me to the main office where I was given my schedule, a slip all my teachers would have to sign and a map of the school. I followed Seth back into the crowded hallway and glanced at my schedule and then at the map. The building was like a lot of schools in Florida; broken up into five or six separate buildings. Most of my classes were in the back couple of buildings. Above us, the bell gonged and the mass of students started hurrying toward their classes.

I headed off toward the rear of the building, Seth headed toward the east end of the building. "Wait outside the cafeteria for me at lunch," he called as he was swept up by the sea of bodies.

"Okay," I called back though I knew he wouldn't hear me.

I found my first class fairly easily and handed the slip to the teacher. She smiled at me, her auburn hair flared out from head, it looked almost like she was electrocuted and had yet to tame her hair. "I'm Mrs. Burnette, and you are," she regarded the slip I'd handed her, "Isabella Dwyer. Please choose a seat anywhere you like." I turned to go and find a seat. I glanced around the classroom looking for an empty seat. I found one, and then felt my heart stop. Sitting in the back of the class was Jake, and directly across from him was the only free seat.

"Figures," I muttered as I picked my way through the maze of desks and backpacks.

Dropping my backpack to the floor, I plopped down at the desk and stared at the chalk board. From the corner of my eye I could see Jake sniff his tee shirt and shrug his shoulders. Mrs. Burnette stood and addressed the class.

"For the rest of the grading period, we are going to be reading and learning Shakespeare. So, take a copy and pass them back." The class let out a collective groan as she plopped a pile of books on the first desk of the row. The books reached me and I anxiously looked at the titles printed on the cover and breathed a sigh of relief. The Taming of the Shrew, A Mid-Summer Nights Dream and Macbeth, three of my favorite Shakespeare plays.

Mrs. Burnette started going over what was going to be expected of us as we read and discussed these literary works. Jake leaned across the aisle.

"Psst," he whispered. I ignored him, keeping my eyes trained on the notes on the chalkboard.

"Bella," he breathed. "I know you can hear me."

I tore my eyes from the blackboard. "What?" I hissed at him, those dark chocolate eyes weakened my resolve.

"What was up with this morning?" he asked.

I stared at him, "What are you talking about, I don't even know you. Not to mention that I was told that if I messed with you your girlfriend would rip my head off."

"Who told you that?"

"Seth. He said that Leah would probably kill me if I even _sneezed_ in your direction. And I hate to say it, but I'm rather attached to my head. Not that the scrawny bitch could take me, but I'd hate to have kick her ass and mess up my nails."

Jake snickered. "Leah won't mess with you. She's cool, you just gotta give her a minute. All her life she's been Daddy's little girl then here you come trying to take it all away from her."

"I don't want to be "Daddy's little girl,"" I snarled as I made air parenthesis. "Charlie's not my father, my father is dead, okay? He killed himself after some asshole decided that a brand new Escalade was worth more than the life of my mother. You don't know me so don't sit there and pretend that you do."

"Ms. Dwyer, Mr. Black is there a problem back there?" Mrs. Burnette called.

"No, ma'am," Jake said as I shook my head no.

"Good. Then I suppose you two can read the parts of Katherine and Petruchio, okay?"

I groaned and nodded my head. Petruchio practically tricks Katherine into loving him by messing with her head until she is obedient and loves him. I glared at the teacher.

_You vile woman, _I thought viciously at her.

She looked up at me and smiled a knowing smile, then turned to the chalk board and started scrawling questions on it.

"Homework tonight, ladies and gentleman, copy these questions and read act one of The Taming of the Shrew. They are due tomorrow."

I pulled a notebook out and started scribbling down the questions. As I finished, the bell rang. I shoved my notebook into my backpack and rushed out of the classroom; heading toward building six for my first elective, Printed Arts I.

"Zee! Zee, wait up!"

I turned and glanced over my shoulder, Seth was running toward me. I stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk. "What's up kid?" I asked when he arrived, his chest heaving, at my side.

"Nothing much. I got woodshop in the same building," he breathed.

"Oh cool. Well come on before we're late."

Seth and I walked into the building behind a group of girls who were smacking gum and using the word 'like' after every word. I looked at Seth and stuck my finger down my throat and pretended to gag. He laughed and started mocking them with his hands, flipping his hair and acting like a valley girl.

He stopped outside a door. "See you later," Seth called as he disappeared into his class room. I waved good bye and headed toward my class. I had no idea what the hell Printed Arts was, so I was completely apprehensive as I walked into my classroom.

There were about fifteen octagonal shaped tables in the large room. A cylindrical black door jutted out from the wall closest to the door, there was a black curtain hanging across a second door way. At the desk in the front of the class room sat a man who looked like he jumped right out of the summer of love, circa 1967.

His long scraggly brown hair was held in place by a neon pink, orange and green tie dyed head band that went across his forehead, three smiley faces grinned up at me. His glasses were the super round John Lennon kind, his jeans were well worn and flared and to top it all off he had on 'Jesus Sandals.'

I handed him my slip and he glanced at it. "Isabella Dwyer. Do you go by Isabella or something else?" he asked. He even spoke like a hippie. I expected he might hand over a half-smoked joint.

"I go by Bella," I responded.

He signed my slip and handed it back to me. "Technically the school says you're supposed to call me Mr. Belcher, everybody here calls me Bruce. Whatever you prefer is cool with me. Go on and pick a seat and welcome to Printed Arts."

I thanked him and searched for a seat at a relatively empty table. In the corner closest to the door there was an empty table. I scurried over and set my bag on the stool next to me and took out my notebook, waiting for the bell to ring.

A few more people came in; a girl sat down across from me and smiled. I smiled back and glanced down at my notebook. The bell rang and one more person sat down at my table.

"Are you stalking me or something? I mean it's great if you are, but if you are I think I should know," a familiar voice said.

"You have got to be freaking kidding me," I groaned and looked up. Sitting next to me was Jake. He was sitting there with this stupid grin on his face.

"Yes, I'm stalking you," I muttered. "I didn't even sign up for this damn class."

I picked up my pen and finished doodling around the poem I had started writing. Jake grabbed for my notebook. It slid across the table, my pen made a great black slash across the page as it went.

"What the hell are you doing?" I cried, reaching for my notebook.

Jake snatched it up off the table and held it out in his other arm and started to read it.

"Miss the you I thought I knew," I heard him mumbled. "No longer red, my heart beats blue."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. That was private and he had no business reading it. Jake closed the notebook and handed it back to me. "Sorry," he whispered.

I snatched it from him and discreetly wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry." He said softly.

The poem was personal. I wrote it so I could get over losing my parents and having to move to bum fuck nowhere. I opened to the page I was on and continued drawing, my eyes skimming over the poem.

I spent the entire class tuning out Bruce the hippie and drawing hearts and stars around my poem. Once the bell rang I ran like hell into the hallway and out of the building.

"Bella!" Jake called, I heard him muttering expletives as his feet pounded the pavement. I bumped into a girl standing in the middle of the sidewalk. My elbow knocked her books out of her hands.

"Hey!" she screeched.

"Sorry," I yelled over my shoulder.

"Bella will you please wait!" Jake yelled. I could hear his voice getting closer, he was gaining on me. Lucky bastard with those eight feet long legs of his. There was a group of boys standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Embry, Jared, Paul, will one of you please grab her!" The tallest boy in the center of the group made a move toward me. I shifted slightly to the left and kept going. The second boy made a grab for me, I faked right and took off to the left. The last boy and Jake started chasing me.

"C'mon fellas my daddy was a damn good football player who taught his little girl every in and out of the game," I called over my shoulder.

The game had changed from me running away from Jake to me toying with him. If he wanted to talk to me I was gonna make him work for it. I was still glancing over my shoulder when I smashed into a very muscular chest. I was stopped dead in my tracks and fell back onto the sidewalk, little cartoon birds flying over my head. Jake and his friend slowed to a stop beside me and started laughing.

"Way to go Tank!" Jake clapped Tank, the owner of the muscular chest, on his shoulder. Tank just looked at him and grunted. He offered me his hand, I looked at it tentatively then took it. He pulled me to my feet like I weighed less than a sack of flour.

"Thanks," I said, dusting crushed leaves off the seat of my pants.

"Why were you running?" Jake asked.

"Because you're an asshole. Why would you take my notebook like that? What the hell were you thinking?"

"Sorry," he apologized again. "I just wanted to see what you were writing."

"Well you're not forgiven. I already told you. I don't want any trouble with the evil step sister so just stay the hell away from me. Besides, I'm too much for you to handle."

"What about me?" Jake's friend asked.

"What about you?"

"I'm not dating your evil step sister, wanna eat lunch with me?"

"I'm eating lunch with my brother, thanks."

"Seth? Cool, he won't mind."

I turned toward back toward the building and started walking, not really caring about my next class. Jake's friend, Embry, rushed to my side.

"What's your next class?" he asked.

"Calculus," I told him.

"Where?"

"Building two with Miller."

"C'mon I'll walk you."

I stared at him. "You take calculus?"

He pretended to be offended. "Why, don't I look smart enough to take calculus?"

"No," I told him, "you look like the typical meathead high school jock. Why, you telling me you're not?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," he retorted, "I'm the second smartest dude in this school."

"Who's the first?"

Meathead pointed over his shoulder. "Jake is."

My mouth dropped open. "No shit?"

"No shit."

"Wow." I glanced at Jake over my shoulder. So there _was _more to him than what met the eye.

"Oh I'm Embry by the way." He held out his hand. I slipped mine into his.

"Nice to meet you Embry, I'm Bella."

"Hi Bella. Welcome to Forks."

**Reviews are better than stalking hot guys (seriously they are..no one likes a stalker)**

**Title: Hold On ~ Good Charlotte**

**OOh and who saw The Vampire Diaries Thursday?? (and Friday and tonight? lol) How hot is Stefan huh?  
**


	3. Nothing Is What It Seems

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

**thanks to all the usual suspects, ShelbySue, beta extrodinairre, and everyone who reads & reviews...if I could I would send you all your own personal Jacob's..lol...and now...chapter three :)  
**

**BPOV**

Embry was in my next two classes _and_ we had lunch together. _Welcome to small town U.S.A,_ I thought as we left our last class.

And as it turns out, Embry was actually a nice guy. As we walked toward the cafeteria I asked him what it was like living here.

"It's not that bad I guess, if you've lived here your whole life." He sidestepped a couple making out in the middle of the walkway. "Where are you from?"

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Jacksonville, Florida," I told him.

"Did you like it there?"

"Yes," I said, nodding my head. "It was my favorite place to live."

"How many places have you lived?"

"Well," I said, "There was Chicago, Tennessee, and most recently, Florida. I lived in Florida for almost seven years. "

Embry's eyes widened. "Damn girl, are your parents criminals or something?"

"No," I laughed. "My dad is, I mean was, a football player."

"Anyone I might know?"

"Phil Dwyer," I said softly. Embry stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at me.

"You're Phil Dwyer's daughter?" he said incredulously.

I nodded.

"Dude, he's a fucking God. What the hell are you doing here in Forks?"

I stared into Embry's sky blue eyes. "I-uh, um, you don't know?" I whispered.

"Know what?"

We were approaching the cafeteria. I saw Seth standing on his toes searching for me. He caught my gaze and waved. "Zee!" he called and proceeded to elbow his way through a group of seniors standing on the grass outside the cafeteria.

"Hey kid!" I called.

"I thought I missed you," he said breathlessly.

"Nope, I'm a little late. Embry was showing me how to get here. Do you mind if he sits with us?"

"What's up man," he said to Embry. "No Zee, I don't mind."

"Alright, well c'mon then," Embry said, leading the way into the cafeteria. After we'd gone though the line and sat down, he started asking about Phil.

"So what didn't I hear about your dad?" he asked.

I glanced at Seth, he was deep in conversation with his girlfriend from next door.

"He died," I said numbly.

"No fucking way," Embry breathed, his eyes looked moist, like he was going to cry. "How? When?"

"A week ago. He killed himself, got drunk and wheeled himself into he pool." I dropped a greasy fry back onto my tray.

"Why?" Embry asked.

"No on really knows for sure," I shrugged. "I think it had to do with my mom's death."

He set his Pepsi can down, "I heard something about an attack on an NFL star, but I didn't really pay much attention. What happened?"

"Three weeks ago, my mom and dad were car jacked after leaving the Jacksonville Municipal Stadium. My dad was taking a short cut, trying to avoid traffic, well he stopped at a four way stop sign and some guy comes up and shoves a gun in my moms face, ordering her to get out of the car." I stopped and took a deep breath.

_You can do this, _I reminded myself.

"She refused to get out of the car so he shot her, then drug her out of the car and shot her five more times. She died in the street before the paramedics even had the chance to get there. When my dad got out, the guy shot him four times in the back, paralyzing him from the waist down. He blamed himself for my mom's death and was depressed because he was still alive, because he was paralyzed, because he would never play football again." I twisted the lid off my bottle of water. "But what do I know? I'm just a kid," I said sarcastically.

Embry sat there staring at me from across the cafeteria table. "Wow, Bella, I had no idea. I don't know what to say."

I smiled sadly. "There's nothing you can say. It sucks, but life goes on. At least that's what my grandmother says."

Embry looked uncomfortable. "How are you managing to cope so well?"

"I'm not coping; I'm heavily medicated," I snorted.

He burst out laughing, soda spewed out of his mouth. "Sorry," he handed me a wad of napkins. "I know that's not funny."

I shrugged, "It is. It's all good though, I'm a freak."

"Freak or not, I think you're kinda cool."

"Well thanks," I blushed. "You know you're not so bad yourself."

"I do have one more question," Embry informed me.

"What?"

"If your mom and dad are dead, why are you here?"

"Phil was my step-father. Seth and Leah's dad, Charlie, is my biological father, he gave up his rights to me when I was like six and Phil adopted me. I got sent here because apparently they had some kind of deal worked out with him and it was in their wills or whatever. Now tell me that's not fucked up on like seven different levels."

"You said it," Embry snickered.

* * *

My first week in Forks passed without incident. As promised by my grandmother, a bank account was opened at the local bank. My monthly "allowance" would be deposited every month on the first as long as I stayed out of trouble, maintained my grades and auditioned for the school play. The last stipulation was a joke between me and my grandmother. She knew how desperately I wanted to be an actress. I would have been inducted into the Thespian troupe at my school in Florida in the spring; that was another dream that's gone up in smoke.

My things from Florida also started to arrive this week as well. After Seth and I got off the bus Tuesday afternoon the rest of my clothes were waiting on the porch for us. On Wednesday my remaining books were delivered. When I talked to her, Gran said my car was on its way, but would probably take another week or so before arriving in Forks.

My room in the attic was starting to look like a room. I'd hung my pictures and posters while Seth watched quietly from the bed. Ours was a strange bond, one that I didn't fully understand but I welcomed it none the less. He was a good kid, eager to please those around him and very funny. I liked having him around.

"So, I have a question," Seth stated from his position on the bed.

"What?" I asked glancing over my shoulder.

"You have a grandmother in Florida right? She's the one who sent you all your stuff?"

I nodded.

"Okay, don't take this the wrong way; but why are you living here and not with her?"

I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. I knew this was an inevitable question. "She's sick," I said softly. "She forgets things, sometimes just little things, sometimes it's bigger stuff, like who I am or where she is. She lives in a nursing home with other old people. She said if she was better I could have stayed in Florida but she worries about the day she forgets everything. She said it wasn't safe for me to live with her. So she sent me here."

Seth absentmindedly shuffled the photos in his hands. "Oh," was all he said.

I reached out my hand and accepted the photo he handed me. "So change of subject, okay?"

Seth nodded and handed me another picture.

"Why do you think we get on so well?" I asked him as I taped a photo of Rosalie and me to the wall next to my bed.

Seth shrugged. "We both feel like we're stuck somewhere we don't belong. You want to be in Florida and I want to be anywhere but here."

He was right, I wanted to be in Florida. What I didn't understand was his strange reply, so I asked, "How come you don't want to be here?" I asked.

Seth shrugged again. "I dunno I just never felt like I belonged, like I was wanted. Dad has always been hard on me. I didn't want to play baseball last year because I sucked and he had this huge fit and grounded me, took away my video games. He said I could have them back if I played baseball. He wants me to be someone I'm not. He wants me to be him and I'm not."

I sat down next to Seth and patted his back. "Don't worry about it. Video games are way cooler than stupid baseball."

Seth smiled at me. "Thanks Zee."

"Anytime little brother."

* * *

The second Friday, Embry called and asked if I wanted to see a movie. I jogged down the stairs in search of Sue. I found her in the den, curled up on the couch one of her hand woven afghan's draped over her legs reading The Picture of Dorian Gray.

"Um, excuse me Mrs. Swan?"

Sue looked up, startled. "Oh dear, you scared me," she chuckled nervously.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

She waved her hand. "It's alright Bella, what did you need sweetheart?"

"Um, my friend Embry asked me to go see a movie with him. Is it okay if I go?"

She smiled. "Of course dear. Curfew is eleven. Please call if you're going to be late."

"Thank you," I called as I walked out of the room. Sue turned back to Dorian Gray. "Interesting isn't it?"

She smiled. "It is. Have a good time Bella."

I nodded and rushed back up to my room where I left my cell phone. "Embry?"

"I'm still here Bella."

"Okay, she said yes. Pick me up in five, okay?"

"I'm leaving now."

I snapped the phone shut and changed my shirt and put on some lip gloss. After a final glance in the mirror I grabbed my jacket and purse and trotted down the stairs. He was waiting at the curb. I waved and hurried into the car.

"So what are we going to see?" I asked once I'd buckled my seat belt.

Embry shrugged. "I dunno I hadn't got that far."

"You're a tool," I laughed.

"Ah you love me," he retorted.

"You wish," I snorted.

He muttered something that sounded like "Jake wishes."

I gaped at him. "What did you say?"

He flashed a boyish grin. "I didn't say anything."

I smacked his arm. "Whatever."

* * *

At the theater we bought tickets for some action movie that had Dylan Rhodes, Hollywood's newest 'it' boy, in it. I didn't care that it was an action movie and Embry didn't care that I would be sitting in the darkened theater drooling for two straight hours. We entered the theater and waved to a girl from our calculus class.

Sitting on the right side of the theater was Jacob and Leah and a couple other guys from the football team.

Embry grabbed my arm. "C'mon, let's go talk to the guys."

I groaned. It wasn't the guys I had problems with. We all spoke the same language: football, and that made me cool in their book. It was Leah and Jake that I had issues with.

Leah was the definition of a bitch. She would ruin my clothes if I didn't guard them like a hawk while they were in the washer or dryer. She tried to sabotage my laptop, stole my iPod, hid the battery from my cell phone; she did anything she could to try to make my life a living hell. She was a breath away from a beat down, especially if she ruined anymore of my stuff.

I trailed, unwillingly, behind Embry. Leah saw me approach and elbowed her crony Rachael. I sat down as far away from them as I could and it still didn't deter her.

"So Bella," Leah called. "Are you going to try out for color guard?"

"No Leah, I'm not," I called back with false enthusiasm.

"Aw why not?" she pretended to be upset, her lower lip stuck out in an over exaggerated glossy pout.

"Oh because the bitch with a stick up her ass quota is already filled in my house," I smiled sweetly at her.

Leah started toward me, Jake grabbed her wrist stopping her. "Why don't you just go kill yourself like your worthless step father did? You're about as useful as he was."

I jumped out of my chair, fed up with her shit. "You know I'm really fucking sick of you Leah," I snarled and swung at her.

Embry grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back. "Easy there Rocky."

"Lemme go Embry," I hissed and struggled against his tight grip on my waist. "I've had about enough of her shit." I lunged for her again.

"You better get your girlfriend outta here Jake," Embry advised. Jake glanced from me to Leah and then led her toward the other end of the theater.

"You better be glad he's holding me back," I shouted. "Next time you won't be so damn lucky."

Rachael smirked at me as she sauntered away. "You too bitch," I sneered at her.

Jared laughed. "Jesus Christ Bella, beat her ass already."

"Stop egging her on man," Embry practically begged. He turned to me. "If I let you go will you promise not to go kick their asses?"

My rage was slowly fading, the adrenaline dissipating. I sank wearily into Embry's well defined chest.

"I promise."

Embry released his grip on my waist and I sank wearily into the chair I'd previously occupied. "I hate her," I muttered to no one in particular.

"Yeah, we figured that," Paul muttered.

Embry and I hung around until our movie started, then sat in the darkened theater sharing a bucket of popcorn as we watched government created super heroes kick ass and take names. After it was over I looked at Embry.

"Remind me tomorrow to find out where I can get some of that uber goo, one squirt of and that and sayonara Leah."

Embry chuckled. "She's really not that bad."

"Says you. Traitor," I poked him in the stomach. Embry slung his arm over my shoulder and the two of us exited the theater.

Over the last two weeks we'd settled into an easy friendship. There were times when he looked at me like he wanted to take our relationship further, but something always held him back. Sometimes it bothered me and I contemplated making the first move, but something held me back as well.

Embry drove me home, dropping off at the curb before parking in the driveway two houses down. I waved to him and unlocked the front door. Sue had left the light on in the living room. I locked the door behind me and shut off the light. As I climbed the stairs, my cell phone started buzzing in my purse. I dug it out and whispered, "Hello?"

"Bella?" Rosalie's excited voice shouted.

"Ros! Hi how are you?" I whispered and shut my bedroom door.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Sorry," I said in a normal tone, "I just got home and didn't want to wake anyone."

"Oh, how's life up there in sucky Forks?"

I snorted. "It sucks."

"Naturally," Rosalie retorted.

"Me and my friend Embry went to the movies where I totally almost beat the shit out of my stepsister."

"Ohemgee, are you for real?"

"Yeah, she's a total bitch." I kicked my shoes off and sat down on the end of my bed.

"God come home. I'll even let you live in my attic if you wanted."

I laughed sadly. "Rose if I could I would so totally be there."

Rosalie sighed. "I know chick, it just sucks. I like, totally effin miss you."

I choked back a sob. "I miss you too."

"Oh, shit, Bella I gotta go. Call me tomorrow. Love ya! Muah!"

"Love you too. Bye." I hung up and dropped my phone into my bag, then stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed.

_God, _I prayed, _make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here._

* * *

Monday morning arrived in its typical fashion, a mad dash for coffee and a quick slice of toast before the bus came. At seven-oh-five, Seth and I trudged out to wait for the bus.

In English class Ms. Burnette dropped a bombshell on us. We'd just finished reading The Taming of the Shrew when she smiled and announced a project that would be due in a few weeks.

"I will assign a select few a role, an act and a scene. You will then write all of your characters lines as if they were speaking modern vernacular. For example, in Romeo and Juliet, Juliet says "Where for art thou Romeo?" Modern vernacular Juliet would say "Where are you Romeo?" Any questions?"

The class groaned out a no and Ms. Burnette clapped her hands. "Alrighty then. Jamie you will do Bianca, Mitch, you will portray Lucentio. Bella-you will play our Katherine and Jacob-Petruchio."

Ms. Burnette went around the class handing out the remaining roles. "For those of you who didn't get a part, not to worry we still have Macbeth and A Mid-Summer Nights Dream. Now listen up ladies and gentleman. After your lines are rewritten you will be performing these skits during the senior assembly. To receive full credit props, movement- what have you, will need to be incorporated. Please bear in mind this is a significant part of your final grade. Please see me at the end of class for your scene assignments."

I sat at my desk in shock. I couldn't believe this, I was going to have to work with Jake. It seemed like Fate was conspiring against me. I glanced at Jake out of the corner of my eye, he was grinning at me. I rolled my eyes and skimmed through the play. This could either be really bad, or bearable. It all depended on what Burnette assigned us. I had the feeling that it was going to be bad, epically bad.

At the end of class, while all the other students filed out the door those of us who'd been assigned roles in the play clustered around the teacher's desk. She smiled at us as she handed out the assigned scenes.

"Each of you has a few pages from a scene. I suggest those of you who have a partner in the scenes get together and work on your lines together."

I snatched the slip of paper from her hand and glanced at what our part was. _You have got to be freaking kidding me_, I thought as I looked down at the paper in my hands. Act five, scene one page eight; the scene where Kate and Petruchio kiss for the first time.

_Could this get any worse? _I wondered as I shoved the paper into my backpack and hurried off toward Printed Arts. Jake followed closely behind me.

"Bella!" he called.

I slowed down and waited for him to catch up. "What Jake?"

"We need to come up with a schedule of how we are going to do this. I mean, we have to try to work around my football practice and games."

"How about this," I suggested, "I write the damn lines then we don't have to work with each other."

Jake eyeballed me. "Why do you have to make everything so damn difficult?"

"I'm not making things difficult Jake, I'm trying to make them easier. I don't want Leah all up in my face, okay. Don't _you_ make things difficult. Just go with it okay?"

I saw Seth up ahead and hurried toward him leaving Jake standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk behind me.

"Hey Zee," he said as I got closer. He sounded upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked peering into his face.

Seth shrugged. "Seth, come on what's wrong?"

"Nothing Zee, I'll see you later."

I stopped just outside the building and watched him practically run away from me. Embry passed me on his way into class. "Bella what's wrong?" he asked.

I shrugged and walked with him into the building. "Something's wrong with Seth, but he won't tell me what."

"Want me to talk to him?" he asked.

"If you don't mind. Maybe he'll tell you. Thanks Embry."

"Sure. I gotta run. See you in calc."

I waved and walked into Bruce the hippie's class. "So what's up with you and Embry?" Jake asked as we sat down at our table.

I stared at him blankly. "What do you mean?"

Jake shrugged. "Exactly what I asked. What's up with you two? You guys seem awful, oh I don't know. Chummy."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, he's my friend you idiot. God if I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous."

Anger flashed in his strange green-brown eyes. "You wish I was jealous," he muttered.

I smiled sweetly at him. "If that's what gets you through."

Our last table companion sat down and quietly opened her books. "Hi Samantha," I said.

She smiled timidly at me and pushed her glasses up her nose. I think Jake and I scared her. We were always at each others throats, bickering and hurling insults. It didn't cease to amaze me that Samantha still sat with us.

All through the class Jake bugged me about the English assignment. "You can't do it by yourself," he said as we finalized our designs for the screen printing assignment.

"Yes," I said through clenched teeth, "I can. Why is this such a big deal to you?"

"Because, it's my grade too. I would like to keep my status at the top of the class if you don't mind."

I could feel my resolve weakening. "Fine, we work in the library or somewhere on school property. And tell your bitchy ass girlfriend to stay out of my face about it. This is the _last_ thing I ever wanted."

I set my stencil on the silk screen and made sure it was properly centered. "Fine," Jake said. "I'll tell her to leave you alone. I have football practice Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays so I guess we'll have to work on this after practice or on days when I don't have practice. Just let me know."

"Fine," I said. "I'll make up a schedule and bring it to you tomorrow."

I finished with my screen and took it to the rack set up in the back of the class. Bruce the Hippie came to look at my screen. "That's pretty far out, Bella," he said leaning in to get a closer look.

"Thanks. I drew it myself."

"I can see that. Very nice design, one of the best and most honest I've ever seen."

I glanced down at my design, it was honest, it was me. The edges of the design were grunge inspired, and different styles of text depicted different phrases. It was homage to my parents, but in a way it wasn't. It felt like more than that. I glanced across the classroom at Jake. He was acting goofy, making these asinine faces at Samantha who was laughing nervously.

In my chest, my heart did this funny somersault. I rubbed it anxiously. _No_, I thought, _no there's no way it's got anything to do with him._ My heart rolled again.

_No_, I protested silently. _Absolutely not._

**Reviews are better than having a crush on your evil stepsisters boyfriend...lol.**

**Chapter Title:**_"Nothing Is What It Seems (Without You)"_ by **Saosin**..their new cd, **In Search of Solid Ground**, is awesome...check it out (lol now I feel like a PSA)


	4. Finding Me Out

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

Okay...bear with me...half asleep and the hunk I hired to make me coffee in the am hasn't shown up yet (I'm totally kidding, but it would be sooo nice to have someone like jason statham walking around, half nakey and making me coffee...le sigh...lol) So anyways...thanks to my beta, ShelbySue..she does a wonderful job..I suggest everyone gets a beta as fab as her..lol & thank you to everyone who reads & reviews all the time...its nice to know that you guys like what I'm bringing to the table...and thank you to the moderator of the C2 The Best of the Best: Team Jacob, for making me the Author of the Month...I'm honored (and still slightly shocked) to have that opportunity...that being said..enjoy chapter four!

**BPOV**

School and life fell into an easy rhythm. Living in Forks started to suck less and less. I mean it wasn't Florida but wasn't that bad either. The last Tuesday of October found Jake and I buried under a mountain of books in the school library. Going from The Taming of the Shrew to Ten Things I Hate about You was a hell of a lot harder than we thought it would be. Not to mention the fact that Jake and I could hardly agree on a thing.

I slammed the dusty cover of Shakespeare's Complete Works and scowled at Jake. "We can't keep doing this. We need to agree on _something._"

Jake nodded and helped me stack the books we'd been using. "And I am not going to agree to Petruchio saying "yo" so please stop trying to convince me. He would never say that," I frowned.

"Modern Petruchio would," Jake snickered.

"And modern Petruchio wouldn't get an A," I retorted shooting Jake a dirty look

Jake rolled his eyes and disappeared into the stacks with a pile of books. I grabbed a few and followed him. "How about this," I said shoving a book back into its appropriate place on the shelf. "You write the lines your way, and I write them my way and we compare what we have."

I slid the second book onto the shelf and glanced expectantly up at Jake. "After we do that we can combine the pieces we like and tweak it until it's perfect."

Jake turned to face me, his hazel eyes peered into mine. "Fine. But modern Petruchio says "yo.""

"We'll see," I said.

"Yes," Jake grinned, "We will. I'll see you on?"

"Thursday," I replied trying to maneuver my way away from him. Somehow I'd wound up with my back to the stacks and Jake was dangerously close to me.

He took a step closer toward me, our bodies almost touching. Electricity sparked in the space between us. My breath caught in my throat and my heart beat erratically. "What, uh, are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.

Jake laughed, his breath tickling my neck. "I've been looking for this," he replied and plucked a book off the shelf.

"Your Body and You?" I said reading the title off the spine of the book.

"No," his face flushed and he shoved the book back onto the shelf. "This one," he said and held up another book with a picture of a man running to catch a falling football on the cover.

"Oh. Well I-uh-I gotta go. See you Thursday." I dashed down the row and snatched my backpack off the back of the chair. I turned to leave but stopped when Jake called my name.

I looked at him. He was leaning against the bookshelf staring at me. "What?" I asked fidgeting with the strap of my school bag.

"You look really nice today."

I felt the blush creep up my neck. "Uh thanks. See you later."

On the way to my car, it arrived finally, I replayed the comment. What did that mean? Was it an "I noticed the skirt you had on and it made me want to bang you" you look nice or an "I'm secretly gay and that skirt is fab-u-lous" you look nice?

I sighed. Why did guys have to be so cryptic? How hard was it to say "hey I like you, let's go out" I mean, really? Was it that hard?

I got into the car and drove the short distance home. The house was empty when I arrived. I shut the engine off and grabbed my backpack. As I went up the walk I glanced down toward Embry's, hoping he was home, but his car wasn't in the driveway.

I let myself in and went up to my room. I hated being home alone. The quiet always made it easier to remember, the memories rose to the surface like bubbles in a glass of champagne. I sat down at my desk and glanced at the framed pictures of my parents. It was taken at a party a few years back. The team Phil was playing for had just won their first playoff game and were that much closer to the Super Bowl.

I had helped Renee pick out the dress she wore that night. I ran my fingers over the glass and blinked away the tears. Down in the living room the grandfather clock chimed the hour, the chiming bells dinged the same tune as the doorbell on my house in Jacksonville.

_I was upstairs on my computer IMing a guy from school when the door bell rang. I glanced at the clock on the table beside the bed wondering who would be ringing the door bell this late. I hurried down the stairs figuring it was nothing, probably the neighborhood kids playing a joke. When I opened the door and saw Jim Phelps, the Jaguars general manager, and two Jacksonville sheriffs officers standing on my doorstep, my heart stopped. _

"_Bella, I need you to get your shoes on and come with me. There's been an accident." _

_The graveness in Jim's voice said that the accident was much worse than your typical fender bender. I nodded and went for my shoes and cell phone. Back downstairs I locked the door and followed Jim and the JSO's to their squad car in the driveway._

_The taller of the two opened the cruiser door for me. "Thank you," I said as I slid into the backseat._

"_You're welcome miss." He shut the door. Next to me, Jim folded his long frame into the backseat._

"_What happened?" I asked, panicked. "Are my parents okay?"_

_Jim looked past me, out the window. "It's bad Bella," he said softly. "Let's talk about it once we get to the hospital, okay?"_

_I nodded numbly and Jim looked relieved. He patted my arm then turned and stared out the window. On the other side of the glass I stared as the city rushed by. _How bad could it be? _I wondered. _Bad, _my mind answered. Really bad, especially if the GM showed up to get you. _

Well maybe it's not that bad, _my subconscious fought back. _Jim and my dad _are_ friends so it's only natural for him to come.

No,_ my mind rejected that thought quickly, _if Jim's here it's because the accident was that bad_. _

_There wasn't much traffic on the way to Shands Jacksonville Hospital. The sheriff's officers led Jim and me through the media circus outside the hospital. That's when I knew it was bad. Sports Center doesn't show up when a NFL star has a fender bender. _

_A local reporter, a petite blond, shoved her microphone in my face. "Mr. Phelps," she called, "Mr. Phelps, Why is Phil Dwyer's daughter with you. Bella, do you have a comment on what happened to your parents?"_

_I stared blankly at her. "I don't even know what happened. Sorry."_

_Jim grabbed my arm and pulled me through the crowd. A security guard was waiting in the lobby. "Mr. Phelps, Miss Dwyer I'm supposed to escort you to the ICU."_

_We followed him into the waiting elevator and rode the six floors to the intensive care unit in silence, my heart pounding the entire time. The elevator slowed and came to a halt. The doors opened to a frenzied scene. Doctors and nurses were rushing in every direction and somewhere, a woman was screaming. Above the nurses station a strobe light pulsed in time with the shrill scream. _

_I cringed and cowered back in the elevator. Suddenly the screaming stopped, the light stopped pulsing and a stream of weary looking nurses and doctors filed out of a room at the end of the hall. I realized the screaming wasn't screaming at all, but some shrill alarm. _

_Jim grasped my arm and escorted me off the elevator. A handsome doctor in his 30's was the last person to come out of the room at the end of the hall. Spotting Jim and I, he raised a hand in greeting and headed toward us._

"_Mr. Phelps?" he asked. _

_Jim nodded. "And this here is Phil's daughter, Bella."_

_The doctor assessed me for a moment then guided us toward the hard plastic chairs in the waiting area. "I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor began. I glanced at the ID tag clipped to the pocket of his white coat, Aaron Burgess, the tag read. When he said bad news I figured a broken leg or arm bad news. Nothing prepared me for what came out of his mouth next._

"_Phil's in a coma. Early tests are showing paralysis from the waist down. Now things could change if - when he wakes up but right now that's what we're looking at."_

"_What about my mom? How is she? Is she okay?"_

_Like Jim, earlier in the car, Burgess refused to meet my gaze. "I'm afraid not. Everyone did everything they could, but she was already gone by the time EMS arrived on scene. I'm sorry."_

_I sat there on that hideous orange chair staring at him, my heart pounding furiously. "No, that can't be true. My mom, she can't be dead," I retorted adamantly. _

"_I'm sorry," was all the doctor said._

_I shook my head; my hair fell into my face. "Where is she?" I demanded raking my hair back. "I want to see her, where is she?"_

"_Ms. Dwyer I am afraid that's not possible."_

"_Why the hell not?"_

"_It's just not. I'm sorry."_

_I felt the shaking start, my hands started trembling and I felt hysteria pulling at me. "Stop apologizing, damn it. Jim, I want to see my mom."_

_Jim stared at me, his eyes rimmed in red. "Bella, it's not a good idea right now."_

_I stood slowly and walked back toward the elevator. _

"_Bella where are you going?" Jim called._

_I pushed the elevator button and turned to face Jim and Burgess. "I'm going to find someone who will take me to see my mom."_

_The elevator doors whisked open and I made a move to board it. _

"_Bella," Jim said and hurried after me. "Your mother's not here. She's at the morgue downtown. You can't see her tonight but I'll take you there first thing in the morning okay?"_

_Jim placed his hand on my forearm, waiting. _

"_Okay," I conceded stepping off the elevator._

I was shaken out of the memory by a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in," I called setting the picture back down. The door squeaked open and Seth poked his head in.

"Hey Zee."

I turned and glanced at him. "Seth, oh my god!" I rushed toward him and pulled Seth into my room. "What happened to your face?" I grabbed his cheek and tilted it toward the light from the window.

"Nothing happened," he muttered and pulled out of my grasp. I let him go and looked at him. "Seth you have a black eye and a busted lip. Something happened."

He sat down on the edge of my bed. "I got into a fight," he muttered.

"Yeah I can see that. With who? And why?"

"Josh Ackerman, in the locker room, after gym class."

"How come?"

Seth shrugged.

"Charlie's gonna want a reason. Why'd this Josh kid beat you up?"

Seth smirked then winced. "He wanted Becca to go to the Halloween dance with him and she said no. She said I was taking her. I guess he didn't like that cause two of his friends held me down while Josh hit me."

I sat down next to him. "Is this the reason you were bummed the other day? Has this kid been bothering you?"

Seth shrugged. "It's no big deal Zee."

I stared at him dubiously. "It is a big deal Seth. If you don't stand up for yourself this kid is gonna screw with you forever."

"Just let it go Bella, seriously."

"Fine," I sighed, "just don't come crying to me when I'm right."

* * *

Wednesday morning Seth and I piled into my car and drove two houses down to pick up Embry. Dinner last night was explosive. Charlie sat at the head of the table, fuming. Angry that Seth "let" himself get beat up, pissed off that he didn't fight back. Forget about the fact that there were two other boys holding him down.

He roared, his face turning this majestic shade of eggplant. I sat there for a little while trying to ignore it, but after fifteen minutes of his rage and nasty words I dropped my fork onto the floor and slipped an ear bud into my ear and discreetly listened to Coldplay while Charlie screamed. And poor Seth, God I felt bad for him sitting there shaking as he took the brunt of Charlie's vicious words.

I didn't even have a chance to shut the engine off before Seth flew out of the car. Embry's eyes followed him across the parking lot.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked.

"Josh Ackerman," I replied.

Embry didn't say anything as he got out of the car. I grabbed my backpack and together we walked toward the school.

"How was your homework with Jake yesterday?" Embry asked.

I scowled at him. "I swear I could kill him or Ms. Burnette for making me work with him. He is impossible," I ranted.

"Yeah, he said the same thing about you," Embry laughed.

I smacked his arm. "Don't talk to him about me," I scolded. "Anyways. Seth was talking about some Halloween dance. Are you going?"

Embry shook his head no.

"Why not?"

"Away game. But Quil's dad is gonna be out of town and he's throwing a party. Wanna go with me?" Embry looked hopeful when I glanced at him.

I shrugged. "Who is Quil?"

"Quil Ateara, he's on the team, second string. His parents are divorced, but it's his weekend with his dad. His mom's got some spa thing she does. So he'll be home alone all weekend. If you don't wanna go it's okay."

"It's okay. You want me to come to your game?"

"Only if you're not doing anything else and only if you'll go to the party with me." He opened the door and followed me into the main building.

"Fine," I sighed," I'll go to the damn party."

"Sweet. I gotta run, but I'll catch up with you later." He tapped my arm and took off toward the gym. I stood there in the sea of people staring after him. Someone bumped me from behind. Leah and Rachel pushed by snickering to one another. I had half a mind to reach out and grab a handful of Leah's hair and yank it as hard as I could.

The first bell rang and I scurried off toward my locked. I passed Seth and waved. Becca was at his side and she waved back. I grabbed my English book out of my crammed locker and took my seat next to Jake.

"Hey Bella," he said,

"Hey," I replied as I got my homework out.

"You have a chance to work your lines?" he asked.

I shook my head no. Jake raised his eyebrow inquisitively. "Rumble in the Swan family jungle. Charlie went all ape shit cause Seth got into a fight over your sister."

"Yeah Becca told me about it. Want me to stuff the kid in his locker?" he asked.

I snorted. "Whatever floats your boat."

**Reviews are better than stuffing the punk who beat up your little brother into a locker!**

"Finding Me Out" by The Friday Night Boys


	5. A Party Song

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

Bella's grandmother was sending her car from Jacksonville, there was a line in there that said something about it arrived earlier that week...as for what kind of car she drives..a totally awesome Eclipse Spyder convertible...just because it's awesome..lol...okay now Charlie...yes, he is a dick...and yes, there is a reason for it...but you're gonna have to wait and find out why he is such an ass...& one more thing...lol this updates so quickly because I'm way ahead of myself..I have (right now) up to chapter 8 written...I've been working on it for a while...even when I was writing Pictures of You...so that's why I am updating so quickly...last, thank you's to my beta, ShelbySue & all you who read and review..I heart you all!

******BPOV  
**

Pulling into the parking lot of North Shore High School, I thanked God I didn't get lost getting here. I followed the directions Embry scribbled on the back of a sheet of notebook paper. Reading his hand writing was like trying to decipher chicken scratch, completely impossible. I parked next to a minivan full of kids with their faces painted green and white; the colors of North Shore High. I followed a few paces behind them and stood in line to buy a ticket. I felt out of place here on my own.

I didn't have many friends and the ones I did have were all on the football team. And not only that, but back at home Rose and I went to football games all the time, her boyfriend, Emmett was the quarterback. But now, here and alone, I wanted nothing more than to rush back to my car and drive back to Charlie's house, _my house_, I reminded myself, as fast as my Eclipse Spyder would take me. Before I could escape a large group of people got in line behind me, forcing me to either cause a scene or buy a ticket.

I bought a ticket and found a stretch of empty bleachers and sat down, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket. The two teams ran onto the field. I searched for Embry's jersey number. He took the field when the ref blew the whistle.

By half time we were winning by seven points. The color guard and marching band trotted onto the field and performed some half-assed routine that I barely paid any attention to. Instead, I got up and went to get a cup of watered down hot chocolate from the concession stand.

At the end of the game I stood by the fence as the team jogged by. "Bella!" Embry called pulling off his helmet and stopping in front of me. "You came."

I nodded. "I told you I would. Now go get changed, if I remember correctly we have a party to go to."

Embry shifted his blue and gold helmet to his right hand. "I'll meet your around front," he pointed toward the main street in front of the school, "In fifteen minutes." Then he jogged toward the locker room.

I wandered toward the front of the school wondering if going to this party was such a good idea. I didn't know whose house it was at and the evil step sister and her gaggle of flag twirling cronies would be there. For about eight seconds I entertained the thought of ditching Embry and going home. I even took like, four steps in the direction of my car, but stopped when I heard Embry call my name.

"Alright, let's go," he grinned and threw his arm around me in his customary fashion. Together we walked across the campus toward the parking lot. A lot of his teammates were whooping and hollering as they sped out of the parking lot, clearly excited over the nights win.

When we arrived at the house where the party was being thrown, I groaned. It was pure, unadulterated pandemonium. Cars were parked all over the street; a few even parked on the lush green and obviously manicured lawn. Music with hard hitting bass reverberated through the otherwise still night air. I glanced over at Embry before getting out of the car. He flashed me a boyish grin.

"C'mon. Thirty minutes and if you still want to go, we'll leave. No objections. Deal?"

I glanced at the house again. _What would be the harm_, I wondered, _to go in for thirty minutes and try to have a good time_? I might actually have fun if I got down off my high horse long enough to try.

"Deal," I finally huffed and got out.

As we hurried up the walk I slipped my arm around Embry's and snuggled closer to him. There was a serious chill in the air that I wasn't used to. And even though it was late in October, it was still a balmy seventy-seven degrees in Jacksonville. That's the kind of weather I was used to; not this barely sixty degrees at night and oak trees on fire with crimson red and ocher-gold leaves. I kept telling myself I hated it but when the sun set each night it illuminated the trees outside, setting them ablaze. I couldn't help but find it beautiful.

Embry opened the front door and confirmed my worst nightmare. The house was crammed with people from school. Inside the music was so loud it felt like my eardrums were being shredded. I winced and followed Embry into a room further away from the music. As we walked, people stopped to congratulate him on the teams win. It took us fifteen minutes to walk from the foyer to the kitchen. By then, I had loosened up and was determined to have a good time.

"You want a drink?" Embry shouted over the music. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a can of Mountain Dew and cracked it open. After he took a long swallow he offered it to me.

I glanced at the offered can, then at the bottles of liquor lined up on the island, torn. Behave or suffer the consequences, was what my grandmother had warned. But she wasn't here right now was she? Hell, she probably didn't even remember me anymore. I gave in to petty teenage temptation and pointed to a bottle of clear liquid that had tiny gold flakes sitting on the bottom.

"I want some of that," I announced pointing at the bottle.

Embry's gaze followed my pointed finger. "Goldschlager?" he said, confused. "How about something else, like, maybe a wine cooler?"

I shook my head no. "I want that," I repeated more adamantly.

"How about a soda, like a Dr. Pepper?"

"No, Em, I want that."

Embry shook his head no. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

I sighed and stepped around him, grabbing the bottle and one of those generic red cups you always see at parties. Embry stood there, sipping his Mountain Dew and staring. "Party pooper," I muttered as I poured a generous amount into my cup and downed it in one gulp.

"Oh my God!" I hollered after the burn that raced down my throat subsided.

"Okay, now that you've had that, how about something that won't kill you," he said and shoved an ice cold Pepsi in my face which I batted away.

"No," I pouted. "I don't want that."

I blindly grabbed another bottle and poured some into my glass and gulped it down. "Oh my God, what the hell was that?" I gasped, fighting the urge to puke my guts up as the vile tasting liquor sloshed in my stomach. I picked up the bottle and glanced at the label. "Jose, you vile little Mexican fucker," I seethed.

I set the bottle of tequila down and picked up another bottle, it was green and smelled horrible. Gin. I poured some into my cup and drank it down. It wasn't as bad as the tequila, but it sure wasn't good either. I think I drank a shot from every bottle of alcohol on the counter; Gin, Tequila, Rum, Vodka.

The last bottle on the counter was a pretty blue on that smelled like fruit. I picked it up and poured some into my glass and tasted it. It was okay, but needed some pizzazz. I grabbed a bottle of juice labeled Strawberry Breeze and added it to the glass then tasted the concoction. It wasn't half bad.

A brunette with a pretty face picked up the bottle of tequila and started to pour it in her glass. "I wouldn't drink that if I were you," I advised.

She raised an eyebrow. "And why not?" she asked sardonically.

"Cause it taste like shit. Try this," I nudged the pretty blue bottle of Hypnotiq toward her. "And mix it with this." I set a bottle of juice down next to the alcohol. "It's good," I giggled and stumbled backward.

Embry caught and steadied me. I glanced up at him over my shoulder about to thank him. Anger flashed in his hazel eyes.

"What?" I asked innocently. He opened his mouth, nothing came out then he closed it. "What's wrong?" I asked again.

"Nothing. I'll catch up with you later." He pushed his way through the crowd and disappeared into the dining room.

"Trouble in paradise?" the brunette observed.

"He wishes," I snorted and sipped my drink. "We're just friends."

The brunette nodded knowingly. "So you're new here right? To Forks, I mean."

I nodded and took another sip of my drink.

"I'm Grace," the brunette said.

"Bella," I replied.

"Come on, we'll mingle."

I don't know why, but I grabbed my cup and followed Grace into the living room where the music was playing. Grace stopped in the middle of the living room and started dancing, her hips swaying to the beat of the music. Some guy came up behind her and grabbed her. She took a step away from him and scowled as he scooted closer. Finally she turned and glared at him.

"Come on," she said grabbing my hand. "Some people just don't know how to take a hint."

I smiled and sipped my drink. All the alcohol was starting to make me dizzy. My head felt mushy, my vision was blurry and I was starting to get sleepy. I finished the rest of my drink and followed Grace to the kitchen for another drink.

I was acting stupid. I knew it, but I didn't care. I deserved just one night to do something stupid and teenager like. This was it. In the kitchen, Paul handed me a glass. "Drink this," he ordered.

I accepted the cup, pressed it to my lips and tilted it back. I gagged after the liquid rushed down my throat and for the second time tonight fought the urge to vomit.

"Ohmigod, what the hell was that?" I asked wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Paul grinned. "Ooh you like that don't you? That was my good friend Jack. Jack Daniels. Here have another."

He took my cup and refilled it, then offered it back to me. I made a face as I accepted the cup, and then gulped it down. Another stupid move on my part, but why the hell not? I was breaking all the rules tonight. I swallowed the whiskey and slammed the flimsy cup down. Paul chortled at my expression, which I'm sure was settled snugly somewhere between disgust and delight.

Grace grabbed my arm and handed me a plastic cup; she had refilled our glasses and the two of us headed back toward the living room. As we stepped into the dining room, Leah bumped into me, spilling my drink all down the front of my shirt. I stood there; dripping, drunk and done. Something inside of my just…snapped. It could have been alcohol induced courage or the simple fact that she had been pushing me around since I got here.

I turned around quickly and grabbed great handfuls of her hair and tugged. She screamed and flailed her arms, trying to smack me. I clamped onto her hair with one hand and started hitting her in the face and chest with my other hand.

"I'm so sick of you always messing with me." I shrieked as I hit her.

Together we fell to the floor. People started gathering around us, cheering. Leah got in a few good hits before I started kicking her from where I lay on the floor. There was this strange wailing sound that only later did I realize was coming from me. We were still hitting each other, my rage was slowly dissipating.

"Why don't you just drop dead too," she screamed. "No one here gives a shit about you. Jesus not even your own father wanted you. He gave you up, how fucked up do you have to be that even your own father doesn't want you?"

Jake and Embry appeared from the crowd and pulled us off each other. The rumbling music stopped and an eerie quiet settle over the party. Embry scooped me up and pulled me into a bear hug. I raged against his chest, pummeling him with my balled fists. "Let me go," I hissed and continued hitting him. He flinched once, and then a calm mask settled over his face. I twisted my neck to peer at Leah.

"That's kind of funny slut, and where the hell is your biological father? Huh Leah, where the hell is your daddy dearest. You wanna sit there talking about my dad not wanting me, well fuck you bitch; at least I know where mine is. Do you?"

Leah's face flushed.

"Yeah that's what I fucking thought."

Leah trembled in Jake's arms. I could literally see her quaking in her black boots. "At least my step dad didn't get my mom killed," she said calmly, "like yours did."

Everyone gasped.

"What's she talking about? What's going on?"

That's what I heard all around me. Leah smiled smugly, she was about to wield some dangerous words and she knew it. "Who knows who Phil Dwyer is- oops I mean was?"

I flinched. Embry's arms tightened around me. So far he was the only one in Forks, besides Sue and Charlie, who knew the truth. Well, not necessarily. I sort of told Jake, but he didn't know the specifics, at least not like Embry did.

"He was Bella's step-daddy, who decided to take a short cut through the ghetto, a shortcut that got her mother murdered like some cheap hooker in the middle of the hood. And when the guilt got to be too much for the mighty Phil Dwyer what did he do? He killed himself."

Tears came, spilling from my eyes. Around me, people gasped. A few snickered.

"It gets better," Leah sneered. "Her dear, old, senile grandmother had to pay my parents off to take her. That's how unwanted she was."

"Get me out of here," I begged Embry. "Please, get me out of here."

He picked me up and carried me out of the house. The cold night air was refreshing on my flushed skin.

"Oh my god Embry, I can't breathe, I can't breathe Embry," I wailed.

He set me down on the curb. "Bella, you gotta take a deep breath. Put you head here," he pushed my head down gently between my knees. "Like that. Now try to calm down and take deep breaths, in through the nose and out your mouth." He demonstrated sucking in air then blowing it out.

I tried to do as he instructed, but tear-snot clogged my nose. My stomach heaved. "I don't feel so good," I moaned then heaved the contents of my stomach into the gutter.

"Yeah, I can see how public humiliation would have that effect." He rubbed my back. My stomach heaved again, emptying the last of its contents into the street and on the bumper of someone's Focus.

I drug my hand across my mouth, wiping away the slimy residue. "I wanna go home," I moaned as fresh tears welled in my eyes.

"Okay, don't cry. I'll take you home. Where are your keys?"

I tried to reach into my pocket but fell back into the grass.

"Bella, where are your keys?" Embry asked reaching into my jacket pockets. I laid there in the grass, seething and upset. What gave Leah the right to put my business out there like that? Evil bitch. I should kill her; either that or put Nair in her hair gel. Above me, Embry was still patting my coat pockets looking for the car keys.

"I'm gonna kill her Em," I mumbled.

"Yeah, Bella, that's nice. Where are your keys?"

I shrugged, still too pissed to give a shit where the keys were. "Think I could get away with killing her?"

His hazel eyes were troubled. "No Bella, I don't think you could. Now tell me where the hell your keys are."

"I don't know," I screamed, frustrated. I just wanted to lie there, staring at the stars and plotting revenge against Leah. That bitch definitely had a death wish now.

"Bella?" Embry said sharply interrupting my mental plan for revenge.

"Mhmm?"

"Where are the goddamned car keys?"

I patted my pants and felt the bulge of my keys. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled them out, then handed them to Embry.

"Here you pain in the ass. Here are the car keys. Can we go now?"

Embry snatched the keys and unlocked the car. He opened the passenger side door and then walked around the front of the car. "Get in the damn car so I can take you home, okay."

I got in and slammed the door. He pulled away from the curb, driving slowly to the end of the block.

"How much did you drink?" I asked, finally realizing that while he may be the more sober of the two of us, if he had anything at all to drink he shouldn't be driving either.

"Nothing. I don't drink," he said, his voice tight.

"Oh," I replied. "How come?"

"How come I don't drink?"

I nodded my head slightly.

"Because my father's an alcoholic who beat my mom senseless every time he drank. And in case you were wondering, that was every day. She left him when I was ten. My, uh, doctor says that kids who have an alcoholic parent are more likely to become alcoholics than kids who have normal parents. I hate my father and I do not ever want to be anything like him. So I don't drink."

"Wow," I breathed.

"What?" he asked crossly.

"I thought _I_ was messed up," I admitted.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," Embry muttered.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Not everyone lives this perfectly charmed life. You seem to think that you're the only one who has issues, and well you're not."

He pulled into a 7-11 and opened the door. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

I shifted my head slightly and stared out the passenger side window so he wouldn't see my tears. Phil would say the same thing sometimes, especially when I started to act like a spoiled brat, complaining about my life which obviously wasn't that bad. He'd say things like "look at everything you have Bella, there are thousands of 15 or 16 or 17 year old girls who would kill to have their own –_enter your noun of choice here;_ it all depended on what I was complaining about at the time.

Embry opened the car door and got in. He shoved a bottle of water and some Tylenol at me. "Here, you're going to need that."

I quietly thanked him and swallowed the tiny pills. He drove the rest of the way home in silence. When he turned onto our street, he pulled up to the curb in front of my house and shut off the car. He handed me the keys and got out.

"I'll see you later," he mumbled and jogged down the street to his house, three doors down.

I sat there watching him go feeling like the world's most selfishly self-centered bitch.

**Reviews are better than beating the shit out of your evil step-sister!!!**

LoL & yes..parties always tend to end badly, don't they

Chappie title: **"A Party Song (The Walk of Shame)"** is by **All Time Low**..who's new cd **Nothing Persona**l kicks so much ass!


	6. Long Shot

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

It is my plan to successfully lure you to the darkside that is Embry..lol..jk. As far as Bella drinking last chapter..yes her "father" got wasted and offed himself..but give the poor girl a break..she's a teenager (and for those of us over the age of 18) we all know teenagers do stupid stuff...(if your a teenager..I'm sorry..but I swear when you're older you'll look back and say wow that really was stupid). So go easy on the girl...so um, yeah. thank you to those who read & review and my fantastic beta, ShelbySue...she helped with the mash up last chapter...I sent her two versions and she helped make it work..so thank her too :) ok...I'm shutting up now..

**BPOV**

I woke the next morning – well it was more like early afternoon - with a pounding head and a dry mouth. The room swayed as I rolled out of bed forcing me back into it. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

My second attempt to get out of bed wasn't much better but I had to pee something fierce so I wobbled down the stairs to the bathroom. After I used the toilet I went back upstairs and crawled back into bed, closed my eyes and dozed off. A few minutes later I was awoken by the screaming of my cell phone. It vibrated along to the bass of the song. I rolled over and blindly reached into my bag.

Grasping the vibrating phone I pressed it to my ear. "Hello?" I said groggily.

"Bella! OMG! What's up party girl?" Rosalie's shrill voice screamed at me.

"Dude, stop screaming," I groaned rubbing my forehead. "And what the hell are you talking about?"

"You called me last night, from a party," she said softer this time.

"No I didn't." I rubbed my temples and tried to remember whether I'd called her or not. "Or did I? I was drunk but not that drunk."

"Yeah, you called me. But you didn't say anything. Then I heard you barfing."

Last night came rushing back; the series of events flashed through my mind. "Oh my God. I got drunk, beat up my evil stepsister, threw up in the gutter and said something mean to Embry."

Oh God, Embry. He'd probably never talk to me again after last night. "Who's Embry?" Rosalie questioned. "And ohemgee you got into a fight with your stepsister. What happened? Did you kick her ass?"

"Embry's my friend, he lives down the street. We have calculus together. I went to the party with him. He drove me home. And I don't know if I kicked her ass. She told everyone about my dad; about what happened to him."

"Bella, you haven't told people yet?"

"Only Embry. I told Jake that my parents died, but that was it. It isn't any of their damn business. If I don't want them to know then they don't need to know," I said defensively.

I told Embry after barely knowing him for an hour, yes, but we had this strange connection. I don't know what it is about him, but it's like we are attached somehow. I trust him and I know that he wouldn't betray me. It was strange, I admit, but it was what it was.

"Okay, Bella I know I'm blond and all, but how do you not know if you kicked Leah's ass?"

"Well Rosalie," I said sarcastically, "I'm pretty sure if I _had_ kicked her ass the asshole would be up here screaming at me for hurting his princess."

"Charlie's still being a dick?" Rosalie asked sympathetically.

"Not really to me. It's more towards my brother. Seth gets the brunt of it. I swear, Charlie, like, worships the ground that bitch walks on. I hate him. And her," I added bitterly.

"I know. My mom said that if you wanted, you could come down for Christmas. That is if the parental unit will let you."

Tears filled my eyes. "You're mom is the best. I'll ask and let you know what Ass-hat and June Cleaver have to say."

* * *

"No!" Charlie slammed his hand on the table. Next to me, Seth jumped.

"Why not?" I tried not to whine but it came out sounding that way anyway.

"Hmm, let's see. First of all, you're seventeen, second, I don't know this girl's-"

"Rosalie," I interrupted. "Her name is Rosalie."

"-Rosalie's mother and third, Christmas is a time for families to be together. So my answer is no." Charlie heaved a forkful of potatoes into his mouth and chewed; his way of saying the conversation was finished.

Across from me, Leah smirked. I don't know how it happened, as I clearly remember hitting her, but she didn't have a mark on her. I chalked it up to either a really good concealor or my crappy kung fu skills. I'd have to call that dojo in Jacksonville and get my money back.

I sat at the table, moving the potatoes around my plate for a few minutes before asking to be excused. Sue nodded her head, releasing me from the table. I grabbed my plate and bolted into the kitchen, pissed.

I wondered, as I put my pate in the sink, how much trouble I'd get in if I just went to Jacksonville anyway. What would Charlie do, drag me back to Forks by my hair? I scoffed at the idea. He probably wouldn't even notice I was gone.

Seth came into the kitchen and put his plate on top of mine. "Hey Zee?"

"What's up kid?"

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked pouring himself a glass of milk.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "Why, what's up?"

"You wanna go trick or treating with me and Becca?"

"Uh, hell yeah. What are you dressing up as?"

"Me and Becca are gonna be zombies. That's cool right?"

I nodded. "What time are you leaving?"

"I dunno," Seth shrugged. "Once it gets dark I guess."

"Okay, I gotta finish some homework so just come get me when you're ready to go."

Seth ran out of the kitchen and before I had the chance to leave Leah came in and cornered me. "You think you're so you're so tough don't you?" she sneered.

I rolled my eyes. "What's your point?" I asked in a bored tone.

"My point is," she said poking me in the chest, "you better watch yourself. This is my house, my family and trust me, it wouldn't be that hard to get rid of you."

I pretended to shiver. "Ooh I'm so scared."

Leah grabbed my throat and squeezed . "You should be. Don't. Fuck. With. Me," she said through gritted teeth.

My heart started racing. _Oh my god this bitch _is _crazy_, I thought. She squeezed tighter, her fingers digging into the soft flesh of my throat. I flinched; then mentally kicked myself for letting her see I was afraid. In the dining room, Sue and Charlie's chairs scrapped across the floor.

"Accidents can happen. You of all people should know that, and gosh, I'd hate for something to happen to you." She released my neck as Charlie and Sue walked into the kitchen. From their perspective it looked like we were just talking. I stepped around Leah and calmly walked out of the kitchen. My heart was pounding and all I really wanted to do was haul ass up the stairs and lock myself in my room for the next year.

What the hell was that even supposed to mean, 'accidents can happen?' Was she threatening to kill me? In my room I shut and locked the door then leaned against it. Leah was a crazy bitch that was for damn sure. Accidents can happen, my ass. She better watch it. I'll wait and catch her going down the stairs and push her. Stupid bitch. She acted like my being here was my fault. Didn't she know I didn't want to be here as much as she didn't want me here? I never did anything to her. I didn't talk to her, I avoided her as much as I could, why the hell couldn't she just leave me alone. Soon my fear turned to anger and I started to wish I'd really beat the shit out of her last night.

I took a deep breath and blew it out. Eleven months, I gently reminded myself. Eleven months left until my eighteenth birthday. I would just avoid Leah at all costs, and hightail it the hell out of Forks; even if I had to take the red eye back to Jacksonville.

With thoughts of home, I calmed down and pushed off the door. I had homework to do, and lines to write. I sat down at my desk and glanced out the window. Next door, Jake's bedroom light was on and his shades were open.

I stared as he walked into the center of the room, shirtless. I leaned forward for a better look. He walked past the window, out of my line of sight, then crossed the room and stopped in front of the window. I sighed, the black pants he wore were slung low on his hips and it was…well…hot.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desktop enjoying the view. He really wasn't _that_ bad. Our homework session Thursday had gone well. I'd gotten him to agree that 'yo' was not going in our skit. I still hadn't unraveled the 'you look nice' comment either. I had planned on asking Embry, but after last night's fiasco, I was afraid to call him.

Next door, Jake was pacing in front of the window looking irritated. He glanced out, scowling. His tanned skin was nicely sculpted; my fingers longed to trace the ridges on his chest. My face flushed as I imagined the smoothness of his skin under my fingers.

Then I felt like a pervert. I was sitting here, in the dark, spying on him. Homework now forgotten, I got up and crossed the room to my tiny closet. Seth hadn't asked me to, but I thought it might be fun to dress up too. Since he and Becca were zombies I would go classic too and be a witch. I raided the closet wondering if that dress from last year's Halloween party was here or packed up in storage back in Florida.

As I looked, I wondered if Sue had some old costumes I could use. I ran down the stairs in search of Sue. I paused on the landing. In the living room Sue and Charlie were arguing. Then I heard my name.

"Charlie, you're being ridiculous," Sue sighed. "Bella is miserable here, and it's just Christmas, twelve days. This Rosalie girl is her very best friend so what would it hurt?"

I wanted to rush down the rest of the stairs and throw my arms around her. She didn't have to be my champion, yet she did it anyway. In the living room, Charlie sighed.

"It's not that Sue – we're her family now and she has to get used to it at some point."

Now it was Sue's turn to sigh. "Charlie, she's seventeen. If she chooses to she can leave here in a year and there won't be anything you can do about it. And as far as us being her family, she only knows what she was told however truthful it was or was not. I know why you did what you did and it can't be changed now, but you can't force Bella to be or stay somewhere she doesn't want to be."

I stood there, confused. What the hell was she talking about? Why he did what he did? It didn't make any sense. She knew why he just up and left me and Renee or why he just up and gave me up?

Behind me a door opened and Seth said my name. I jumped, clutching my chest. "Jesus Christ you scared me!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry. I'm almost ready. Are you?"

"Um, yeah. I was just going to see if your mom had any old costumes I could use some pieces from."

"Okay," Seth said grabbing my hand. "Let's go."

He pulled me down the stairs. Charlie and Sue looked up, disturbed by the ruckus our impromptu entrance made.

"Mom, Zee needs a costume. Do we have any old ones she can wear?"

Sue nodded. "In the basement. All the old costumes are in the orange tote along the back wall."

Seth grabbed my hand and dragged me off towards to kitchen. "Thank you," I called as we left the room.

At the basement stairs I stopped and asked Seth to go down and find me a witch's hat, cape, and broom if he could. There was something about the basement in this house that just creeped me out. I hated going down there if I didn't have to. Hell, I hated going down there even if I did.

There was a crashing sound and Seth yelped. "Are you okay?" I called.

"Yeah, I tripped over an old bike. Hey I found it!"

"Okay, well grab it and come on. We gotta go before all the good candy gets taken."

Seth appeared from the darkness and bolted up the stairs shoving a musty black pointy hat and cape in my face. "Will that work?" he asked as I took the costume pieces.

"Yes, thanks. I'll be ready in a few minutes."

* * *

When I came back down, Seth was sitting on the couch waiting and Sue was lurking by the front door, a camera clasped in her hand.

"I'm ready," I announced. Seth jumped off the couch and rushed toward me.

"'Kay, let's go."

"Hey, hold on for a second." Sue held the camera up and wiggled it.

"Aw Mom, c'mon," Seth complained.

"Oh knock it off, it's just one picture. Now smile."

I poked Seth in the ribs and flashed a smile at the camera. Sue snapped the picture then smiled. "Thank you. Be safe and have fun." She kisses Seth's cheek smudging his zombie make up, then looked at me as if she wanted to kiss my cheek too, but changed her mind. I leaned toward her and hugged her quickly.

"I'll make sure he doesn't eat any candy or get hurt," I promised then followed Seth out the front door.

"Zee, come on," Seth yelled from the middle of the yard. "Hurry up, we have to get Becca!"

I followed him as he darted across the yard and up the walk to Becca's house. The front door opened and Becca and Jake walked out.

"Zee," he called.

"What?"

"Jake's coming too!"

Seth and Becca ran down the sidewalk toward me. Jake met me at the end of his front walk. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," I replied. "I didn't know you were going with them."

"I normally take Becca. My dad works crazy hours. I hope you don't mind me tagging along."

I shook my head no, the black nylon hat pitched forward, falling over my face. I pushed it back and walked in the direction Seth and Becca had taken off in.

"So, how come you're not out with Embry tonight?"

"He's mad at me –I think – for last night."

Jake nodded knowingly.

"I'm just so sick of being all over the place, you know. One minute I'm normal, doing normal teenage things and enjoying life then I feel bad because my parents are dead and I'm laughing and having a good time and going on as if they never existed."

"I don't really know what to say," Jake admitted, shrugging helplessly.

"It's okay. It's my life and even _I_ don't know what to say." We walked in silence for a while. A gust of cold autumn air blew, circling around me. I shivered and pulled the cape tighter around me.

"I broke up with Leah," Jake admitted softly.

My stomach did this weird flip floppy thing and I felt pretty damn giddy. I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Really? How come?" I asked feigning casual interest.

"Lots of reasons," Jake said.

"Like?"

"Well for starters, last night. What she did to you last night was cruel and she had no right to tell everyone your private business. Don't worry, I didn't tell her that. I figured she'd give you hell if I did. But besides that there's this other girl at school that I like."

"Oh. Anyone I know?" I asked my heart racing. _Say me_, I begged silently.

"Yeah," he said coming to a stop on the sidewalk. He watched Seth and Becca collected their candy and came racing towards us.

"You're not gonna tell me who?" I asked.

Curiosity ate at me. I wanted, no needed, to know. I guess tonight was one of those times where it didn't matter what I was, Cat or witch, because curiosity was surely going to kill me.

Jake shrugged. "I don't really wanna jinx it, you know."

I shrugged and followed Seth and Becca's erratic trick or treating route.

"What about you and Embry? Are you guys close?"

The curiosity in his eyes was apparent. I shrugged. "He's my friend, but you know that. Are we close? Well we don't share lip gloss and tube tops if that's what you're asking."

Jake laughed loudly. "Embry in a tube top. I can see that."

I laughed. "Don't tell him I referenced him that way. He's already pretty pissed at me."

"I won't," Jake promised. "But seriously. You're not crushing on him?"

"Embry?" I said incredulously. "No. Definitely not. We're strictly friends. Like George and Izzie." Not like he would even know who George and Izzie were. I highly doubted Mr. Star of the football team watched Grey's Anatomy. But then he surprised me.

"George and Izzie slept together. Are you planning on sleeping with Embry?"

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at his back as he walked on, oblivious to my standing a few feet behind him.

"You watch Grey's Anatomy?" I asked in disbelief. Jake stopped and turned; his tanned skin turning a deep pink.

"Rachel does. I overhear it sometimes."

"That's so funny. I'm telling everyone." I laughed and hurried to catch up.

"Do it and I'll have every nerd in school stuffing love letters into your locker for the rest of the year _and_ I'll tell Embry about the tube top comment."

"Okay," I relented. "I won't say anything. Jeez."

An hour and a half later Becca and Seth were ready to call it quits. Jake carried Becca's bulging bag of candy while she and Seth chattered about their favorite treats. At the patch of grass separating our driveways we said goodnight.

"Work on your lines," Jake called before disappearing into his house.

I groaned. I hated this damn assignment. I had some ideas, but nothing was concrete. I'd work on it tomorrow and hopefully get some actual work done. Seth took his candy to the kitchen for the parental once over and I went up to my room. I crossed the dark room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Jake's light was on and he was leaning against the window sill staring up at my window. He looked up at it, hopeful almost, like he wanted to see me. I leaned over and clicked on the lamp. When I came back to the window he was gone and his room was dark. I rested my hand on the pane and sighed.

**Reviews are better than low slung pants on the hottie next door **

(psht I lie...)

"Long Shot" is by Kelly Clarkson (or Katy Perry depending on who you like better)


	7. Time After Time

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

lol for happy dances...for real, you can totally trust Sue...she's one of the good guys and totally has Bella's best interests at heart (I promise) and no, there will be no Edward (or Cullens) in this here fic..or so I'm told..but Bella changes her mind a lot..lol. Jake broke up with Leah before the kitchen incident..that is what basically spawned the whole thing. Thanks to the usual suspects...my beta ShelbySue and everyone who reads and reviews...now go read!

**BPOV  
**

I holed myself up in my room all day Sunday working on my lines. After ten minutes of reading and re-reading the act I slammed the book shut and sighed. This was harder than I thought. I knew what was being said, but it felt wrong to take something as eloquent as Shakespeare and turn it into our modern way of speaking.

I checked my email and logged onto my IM service instead of doing the work. Embry and Rosalie were both logged on. I clicked both their names and typed a short message to Rosalie. While I waited for her reply, I stared at the flashing cursor in Embry's box. So much I should say to him and yet no idea where to begin.

Finally I typed the only thing I could think of, _I'm sorry._ I sent it and waited. A rectangular box popped up. I glanced at it. _**runningback23 (Embry Call) has blocked disenchntd_princess (Bella Dwyer) from contacting him. Remove user from friends list?**_

_That bastard!_ I thought. I clicked no, then said a quick goodbye to Rosalie. I logged off and crawled onto my bed. Great Expectations lay waiting on the table. I picked it up and delved into the last chapter I'd been reading.

Forty minutes later I hadn't even turned the page. I'd been reading the same paragraph about Miss Havisham over and over again. I shut the book and rolled over, staring out the window. Great gray clouds were rolling in from the North. I lay there hoping for rain, a nice messy thunderstorm to go along with my foul mood.

I skipped dinner claiming I had a stomach ache. Sue fell for it hook, line, and sinker whereas Charlie eyed me dubiously. I went back to my room and sat down in front of my computer. Next door, Jake was in his room. Embry and Jared were with him and the three were sitting in front of the television playing some fighting game. I sighed staring at the back of their heads wishing for…_wishing for what exactly_, I wondered.

Well, what I wanted from Jake was obvious. The feel of his arms around me, pulling me closer to him as his lips crushed against mine, tongues tangoing in trembling delight. I blushed in the low lamplight. Crushing on him was exciting, that forbidden desire upped the ante making him that much more desirable. Then there was Embry. In the few short weeks I'd known him I'd felt this connection, liked we'd been the best of friends in a previous life.

We hadn't spoken in two days and it felt like two years. I missed him fiercely. I glanced out the window once more. Jake was standing in the window looking up at me. He raised his hand in silent greeting. I waved back then turned to my computer. Suddenly I didn't feel so perverted for spying on him. I was pretty sure he spied on me as well. I smiled and glanced at the Shakespeare book that sat on the side of the desk, taunting me. _Okay_, I resolved, _I can do this_. I opened the book and dove in.

* * *

Monday morning we were short one passenger; I wasn't surprised though. Seth and I rode to school listening to music. His backpack was crammed full of Halloween candy. I smiled as he struggled to get it on his back after getting out of the car.

Jake, who'd parked a few spaces away, lifted the bag and held it as Seth slid his arms in. "Thanks Jake," he said then loped off with Becca at his side.

Embry slinked by calling goodbye to Jake. He looked disdainfully at me as he went. I could still see the anger etched into the lines around his hard hazel eyes. I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder and walked, alone, toward the school.

Jake hurried up next to me. "Bella, hang on."

"What?" I sighed glancing at him.

"Walk with me."

Together we walked toward the school. "Give him some time," he advised.

I glared at him. "It's none of your business."

"Yes, it is Bella. Regardless of your relationship, he's still my friend too. Just give him time." Jake opened the door. I walked in and waited for him.

"Why would he even go to a party if he didn't drink or like people who do? I mean really, what was the point of taking me to that party?"

Jake shrugged. "Not a lot of people know about his father. Embry puts on a brave face and tries to act like a normal dude."

We stopped at my locker and I grabbed my books.

"Just give him time. He'll get over it, he really likes you."

I made a face.

"No, not like that," Jake quickly corrected.

I glared at him.

"Not that there's anything wrong with you." Jake sighed and pushed his dark hair out of his face. "Look, he likes your friendship. You guys are so close and you barely know each other. Just give him some time."

I slammed the locker shut. "Alright, I'll give him time, but he seriously needs to get over it. Oh and I worked on my lines some last night." We exited the main building and headed toward our first period class.

"I haven't. I'm going to try and do them tonight."

We walked into our first class and sat down, waiting for the bell to ring. The evil Mrs. Burnette made us start Macbeth. Luckily I got to sit back and read along. I was a little disappointed, the witches were my favorite characters and Macbeth was, by far, my favorite Shakespeare. _Que sera, sera_, I thought and read along to act one.

At lunch I sat with Seth and Becca. Embry ditched calculus and he wasn't here either. I sat there for a few minutes before dumping my uneaten lunch into the trash and escaping to the library.

I found a quiet corner and dug my cell phone out. I plopped down on the floor behind the stacks and texted Rosalie. A few minutes later the sleek cell phone vibrated in my hand. With my back to the librarian I glanced down at the screen.

**what's wrong**

I sighed. _Too much to squeeze into one text message_, I thought bitterly. God, I wanted to go home so damn bad. Tears filled my eyes which I angrily wiped away.

**Guy trbl**, I wrote back.

A smiley face with horns grinned back at me a few seconds later. **Embry?**

**Yup**, I answered. **& boy next door.**

**lol do them both**

**Ew, gross**, I responded. Okay, Jake, yes; Embry, no. The first bell rang. I sighed and seriously contemplated ditching. But if I did I'd probably get caught and Seth would have to ride the bus.

**Got 2 go. Luv ya. **I sent the message and hurried off toward the first of my afternoon classes.

* * *

That night I took Seth to McDonald's for dinner. Charlie was working late, or some cop bullshit, Leah was somewhere, buried under the front of someone's car, preferably, and Sue had gone to a book club meeting. I wasn't exactly in the mood for another trip down memory lane so I collected my kid brother and went out for a big Mac.

As we sat in the booth chowing down on French fries, I asked him about Josh Ackerman.

"Has he messed with you lately?"

Seth shoved a fistful of fries into his mouth and shook his head. "Somph guys twid ta shoft him in his wocker."

I stared blankly at him. "I'm sorry, mutant with the mouth full of fries, say what?"

Seth chewed for a few minutes, swallowed and then took a long swallow of soda. "I said some guys tried to shove him in his locker."

I laughed. "Seriously? His locker?"

"Yeah, well his PE locker. They're bigger than regular lockers. He hasn't messed with me since."

"Good," I said. "He deserved to get shoved in a locker, little asshole."

Seth laughed. "He did. Thanks for dinner, Zee."

"Anytime, kid. But we've gotta get going soon. I've got a ton of homework to do."

Seth nodded and shoved the remainder of his fries into his mouth. "Weady" he said.

I collected our trash and got up to throw it away. As I walked toward the trash can I walked right into Embry. "Sorry," I mumbled and stepped around him.

He kept walking like he didn't even know me. I stood at the trash can, blinking back tears, part of me wanted to run up to him and beg him to forgive me, to put this behind us. Another part wanted to shake him silly and demand to know what he expected me to do at a party.

In that moment I realized we weren't as good of friends as I'd thought. If we were he would have either told me about his dad or not invited me to the party.

The last part of me listened as Jake's advice replayed in my mind. I dumped the contents of the tray and went back for Seth.

"Let's go," I commanded. Seth grinned goofily and slid out of the booth.

"Why is Embry not talking to you?" he asked.

"Cause he's an asshole," I responded and pushed the door open. I stepped into the frigid night and shivered.

"That's not a good reason," Seth replied as he got into the car.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I thought he was mad because Jake thinks you're hot."

I stared at him. "Where'd you hear that?" I asked.

"Becca," Seth said as I muttered it under my breath at the same time.

"How does Becca know?"I asked as I turned onto Center Street and headed towards home.

"She heard Jake and Embry and Jared arguing about it. Jake and Jared were telling Embry not to be mad at you and Jake said that Embry was mad because Jake thought you were hot. Then Jake started yelling at Embry."

_So I'm hot?_ I thought suppressing a grin.

"Hmm. That's interesting. Are you sure that's what Becca said?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh, okay."

"Why, is that why Embry's mad at you?"

I stopped at the light on Main and waited. "No, that's not why he's mad. He's mad because I said something I shouldn't have. I tried to apologize but he won't listen."

"Wells that's stupid."

Jeez, my kid brother got it, and yet a seventeen year old boy didnt. "Tell me about it."

Back at home I left Seth in the living room watching some show about video games and went up to my room. Jake's lights were off and I wondered if what Seth said was true. If it was, it would certainly explain Jake's strange behavior; the skirt comment, his breaking up with Leah. I sighed happily, hoping it was true. Not only was he cute, but dating him would be better revenge against Leah. Fuck a fist fight, especially when I could date her ex-boyfriend. I shut my light off; deciding homework could wait, and went back downstairs to watch TV with Seth.

Suddenly I couldn't wait for tomorrow. Jake was supposed to have his lines done, and we would swap notes and see what each other had. I was still pissed that Burnette had given us the kissing scene, but I could work this to my advantage.

Seth handed me the remote as I sat down next to him. "That show is stupid. You pick."

I clicked through the channels and found something that I thought we would both like; some movie about werewolves and chocolate. A little after nine, Sue came home. Setting her copy of _The Time Traveler's Wife_ on the end table she sent Seth to bed. He moped out of the living room and up to his room. I made a move to leave but Sue sat down next to me, and asked me to stay a moment.

I sat on the edge of the couch and glanced at her. Sue nervously wrung her hands and cleared her throat. "I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

I smiled. "I'm fine. Everything is fine."

Sue nodded. "Are you sure? You can talk to me if something is wrong, I hope you know that."

I nodded. "I do. Know that I mean. But everything is fine. If something was wrong, I'd let you know."

"Okay dear. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well."

I got up and walked out of the room. Stopping at the doorway, I glanced over my shoulder at Sue. She tried so hard to be nice to me. It made me miss my mother so much. I sighed then went to bed.

**Reviews are better than thoughts of tongues tangoing in trembling delight...lol**

"Time after Time" is originally by Cyndi Lauper, but for this here chappie I listened to the Quietdrive version which rocks hardcore..**  
**


	8. Happiness is Overrated

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

wow for the first time I'm not gonna talk you to death...lol..thank you to everyone who reads & reviews..and to ShelbySue the most awesomest beta in the world..lol. Here you go! & leave lots of reviews..I need cheering up :)

**EPOV**

I crumbled another sheet of notebook paper and tossed it across the room. It landed on the mounting pile of already discarded paper and tumbled to the floor. There was a soft knock at the door, then my mother's face peered in at me.

"Embry, it's time to eat."

I nodded once and clicked off the light. "What's for dinner?" I asked, trailing down the hall behind her.

"Meatloaf," she replied. My mouth watered. The two of us sat down and said grace. My mom was a great believer in God and all His Holy works…I could care less and as far as I was concerned there was no God. If there was he wouldn't have put my mother through all those years of physical and emotional abuse.

"How was school?" she asked as I handed her the peas.

I shrugged. "It was alright, you know, for school."

She nodded and handed me the potatoes. "Is everything alright? You seem upset and distant? Did you get into a fight with one of your friends?"

I gave her a half-assed shrug. Was everything alright? No, not really. I was pissed at Bella for behaving so recklessly; and more so I was pissed at myself for even taking her. She wouldn't have acted that way if I hadn't taken her.

That was Jake's biggest point. He'd confronted me in the locker room after a particularly shitty practice earlier this afternoon.

"What the hell Embry? Pull your head out of your ass and focus. We have a game Friday night against West Mooreland and they always kick our asses. I swear if we lose because you're pissed at Bella for your own fuckup I swear to god I will kill you myself."

"Whatever Jake. Get over yourself. You act like you're the only one on the team."

"Stop acting like a bitch then," Jake smirked.

"Shut the fuck up, dickwad." I tugged my shoulder pads off and wearily sank to the bench.

"Look, Embry," Jake said sitting down next to me. "It's your fault this happened. You took Bella to the party, you left her alone with Grace Abbot aka party queen extraordinaire, then you got mad at her for doing what any normal teenager would do in that situation. What the fuck were you expecting her to do? Sit in the corner and share a mountain dew with you?"

"Shut the fuck up," I growled.

Jake pulled his sweat stained t-shirt off and tossed it into his bag, "You know I'm right. You fucked up, but you're too big a dick to admit it so you're running around acting like Bella doesn't exist. She's suffering, or do you not even care? I mean Christ Embry, don't you think she's been through enough without having to deal with your bullshit drama too?"

Realization washed over me. "You're gonna try and get with her aren't you?"

He didn't bother to deny it. "Yeah so? She's smoking hot and cool as hell. Any guy in their right mind can see it, so what's your point?"

"Nothing," I mumbled. _Except the fact that you can an asshole and your probably just gonna use her to get back at Leah, _I thought.

Jake threw the rest of his gear into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Just talk to her. She's patiently waited for you to forgive her so just do it already. Either that or tell her you don't want to be her friend anymore. Quit this bullshit game you're playing with her."

He stormed out of the locker room. I picked my pads up off the floor and shoved them into my locker and hit the showers. I stood under the hot mist wondering if it really was as easy to forgive Bella as Jake made it sound.

"Embry?"

I glanced up at my mother's curious expression. "Sorry Mom, what?"

"I asked you if you and Bella had any plans for the weekend."

I shook my head no. "She and Jake have been really busy with the English assignment. I haven't seen her around much."

Mom nodded. "That's a shame. I like her; she seems like a nice girl."

"Yeah, she is," I mumbled.

Jake was right, I decided. Bella had suffered enough at the hands of everyone else. I shouldn't be mad at her. She didn't know about my dad because I didn't tell her and quite honestly, I should have. I was acting like a butt hurt girl.

After dinner I went to my room and powered up the Xbox 360. I was going to apologize to Bella, but I had no idea what to say. I'd ignored her, skipped Calculus class all week and even blocked her IM address. Shit, she might not even talk to me again. I know if it was the other way around and she was in my position, I probably wouldn't talk to her.

Jared and Jake were online when I logged on. "Well look who it is. Forks' own crybaby. What the fuck man?" Jared's obnoxious voice greeted me.

"Shut up asshole," I retorted. Sometimes I wanted to punch Jared right in the teeth. He could be such an asshole, always running his mouth and saying whatever came to mind.

Jake interrupted. "Knock it the fuck off. Em, c'mon and help us kick the shit out of these Trogs."

I grabbed the controller and began fighting off an especially vicious Trog. I hated the stupid mutant human monsters and fucking Jared always got us attacked by them. I killed the monster and adjusted my headset.

"Did you figure out what you're gonna do about Bella?" Jake asked as he slayed a Trog Savage.

"Yeah," I said mashing the shit out the controllers buttons. "Can we please get the hell out of The Pitt, like right fucking now?"

"Yeah. Jared, c'mon."

Jake maneuvered his way out of The Pitt and escaped to higher, safer ground. "So?"

"I'm just gonna say I'm sorry and hopefully she forgives me."

Jared snorted. "Yeah, 'cause a babe that fine is gonna be cool with you dissin' her like that."

"Shut the fuck up Jared. You barely even fucking know her."

"Yeah, well apparently neither do you," Jared retorted.

"Will the both of you fucking stop? Jesus Christ. Embry tell the girl you're sorry, Jared, quit being a dick," Jake said.

I played for a few more hours then shut the game off. We'd had this same fight the other night. Jake and Jared yelling at me for being such an ass, telling me that I just needed to get over myself and forgive her. Then Jared busted out with, "Embry's pissed because Jake wants his girl." I wasn't shocked. Jake and I had talked about it before, right after Bella moved to Forks and that wasn't why I was mad. She was my friend, and I would repeat it till I was blue in the face. I liked her because she didn't have all the girly drama most of the other girls had, and she liked sports. Total win/win combo in any guys mind. I made up my mind right then that tomorrow I would tell Bella I was sorry and hopefully she would forgive me.

The next morning I rode to school with Jake. He parked a space over from Bella and called to her as he got out of his dirty Wrangler. She stopped and glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled. Her smile faded when she saw me. She turned back to Seth and hurried toward the school.

I jogged after her, my heart racing in my chest. "Bella!" I called.

She stopped at the door and glanced at me. "Hey! Can I uh, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She nodded, her short brunette hair swishing. "What's up?" she asked timidly.

I rocked from foot to foot not even sure where to begin. "I wanted to apologize."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Apologize for what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Well, yeah, yeah I did. I, uh, I took you to that party and expected you to know that I didn't drink and why. It was my fault for not telling you. And it was stupid for me to get mad at you for acting like a normal person while I sat there sucking down mountain dews all night. So…I'm, um, sorry."

Bella stared at me. "Are you serious?"

I nodded once. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I acted like an asshole. I, I don't know what else to say."

"Embry," Bella began, "You took me to a _party_, then _you _got mad at _me_ for doing what every other person there was doing. Did you get mad at Jake?"

I shook my head no.

"How about Jared?"

I shook my head no again.

"Tank, Paul, Quil, Sam, Eric?"

I shook my head no once more.

"Then you shouldn't have gotten mad at me. If you weren't going to get mad at every other person there, then you shouldn't have gotten mad at me. And what the hell was up with you blocking my IMs? Seriously Em?"

"Bella, I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but I wanted you to know that I was sorry. I was wrong and if I wasn't going to get mad at everyone else, then I shouldn't have been mad at you. And I shouldn't have left you alone with Grace Abbot. She's drama with a capital 'D.'"

Bella snorted and walked away. She just waltzed right by me and breezed into the main building of the school. Jake walked up next to me. "She's a doll huh?"

I shook my head. "She's something. So you gonna tell her you have the hots for her?" I asked as we walked toward the gym.

Jake laughed. "Yeah, I don't know. Leah is still kind of pissed about me breaking up with her. I think she might kill Bella if I asked her out. And seriously? She'd probably think that's why I broke up with her; so I could get at her sister."

I laughed. "Isn't that the truth? You broke up with Leah because _a_. she wasn't letting you in her pants, and _b_. you want Bella."

Jake snorted. "Getting into Leah's pants was never an issue," he said conceitedly. "And so what if I did break up with Leah because of Bella? Why you haven't tried to hook up with her is beyond me."

"We're just friends. And besides, she wants you, not me." I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I cared, there was a twinge of jealousy whenever I thought about Bella and Jake together but it was more like, this douche bag could have any girl he wanted and he had always fucked them over when he was done with them. I didn't want that to happen to Bella.

The first bell rang. Jake slapped my back and headed off towards his first class and I headed toward the locker room.

"Call!" Coach Young called as I walked by his office. I stopped, groaned and turned around.

"What the hell happened at practice?" he yelled.

"I just had an off day Coach. It won't happen again," I mumbled.

"Damn right it won't. We play West Mooreland Friday night and I'll be damned if your issues cost us the game. So you tell me right now if you're gonna go having issues so that I can get Gautier warmed up and ready to play."

I shook my head no. "Everything is fine Coach. I'll do better at practice tonight."

"Damn right you will. Now get your ass outta my office."

"Yes sir," I muttered and re-entered the locker room.

Three hours later I sat down next to Bella in calculus. "Psst," I whispered after the bell rang.

She sat in her seat staring straight ahead. "Bella, c'mon. Don't be like this."

She whipped her head to the left. "Don't be like what, Embry?" she hissed, her dark eyes flashing.

"Like this," I said motioning to her pissed off expression. "Just stop being mad. I said I was sorry. Why can't things just go back to the way they were? You know, before the party."

"Mr. Call, Ms. Dwyer, please pay attention, unless you'd like to fail the exam on Friday."

Bella scowled at me and turned her attention back to Mr. Rhomes. I sighed. "I'm sorry," I whispered once more.

Bella shook her head and scribbled in her notebook; the same one she was always scribbling in. The one Jake had taken from her during her first day and she looked pissed. Guess it was gonna take her a few days to get over being pissed too.

**Reviews are better than sucky ass birthdays, today is mine so leave me lots of reviews to distract me from the fact that I'm almost 30 (*has a heart attack & passes out*), but no for realz, reviews are better than realizing you were being a butthead!**

"Happiness is Overrated" by The Airborne Toxic Event


	9. Counting Stars

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer**

I don't want to give anything away, so check the end for my notes...lol...and because I'm feeling nice and being 27 turned out to not be so bad (lol yet, I've only been 27 for like 12 hours..lol) I am giving you the next chapter early...lol. I have the best beta...take a page from my book and get one as awesome as her! She takes all the chapters I've hurled at her over the last few weeks and rocked it out, miss ShelbySue...if you figure out how to slow this bus down let me know..lol..& thanks for the bday wishes..you guys rock. & now...chapter nine..

**BPOV**

"I'm sorry Bella. It was my fault, Bella," I mocked as I stormed out of the school. I marched toward my car, yanking my keys out of my pocket. I couldn't believe he just waltzed up to me this morning, all apologies and remorse, and I was supposed to be like what? Oh, it's okay Embry. It doesn't bother me that you haven't spoken to me in four days. What the fuck? Was I supposed to just forgive him when he couldn't forgive me? Stupid boys. Stupid, stupid boys. Always thought they were right, even when they were wrong.

I fumed, muttering under my breath as I tried shoving the key in the lock. I missed, gouging a large gash in the glossy black paint. I muttered a string of expletives as I missed the lock again, rendering yet another scratch in the paint.

I shoved the keys into my pocket. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply then exhaled the anger and tried again. The key slid smoothly into the lock, the clicking of the locks a soothing sound. I really needed one of those remote controlled door un-locker things. As I opened the door, I looked over the hood to see Jake grinning at me from the next space over. He was leaning against the Wrangler with his hands in his pockets looking like sex on a stick.

I shook my head slightly and slid into the driver's seat. I sped out of the parking lot with no destination in mind. I didn't want to go home. Seth had to stay after school, Leah was doing who cares what, and the parental units were at work. I didn't want to be alone; didn't want to face the emptiness. So I just drove.

I passed a cemetery where a group of people were gathered, the tell tale blue awnings marring the peaceful autumn sky. A teenage girl stood on the outskirts of the group, hands pressed to her face, her shoulders shaking. I made the split-second decision and yanked the car around, cutting off three lanes of traffic in the process. Ignoring the blast of horns I slid the car to the curb, tires squealing as I slammed the brake and shoved it into park. I stormed out of the car. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was doing it.

I rushed toward the tents that were flapping gently in the late afternoon breeze. I heard the minister speaking, the soft sounds of sniffling, that low thud as dirt hit the casket lid. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

It floated on the breeze and wrapped around me, scooping me up and taking me back.

"_Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."_

_The sprinkling of dirt tapped on the top of the shiny silver casket as it was lowered into the gaping black hole, the green grass ripped open, its undersides exposed, the scent of fresh earth wafting in the breeze. I stood there, an island in my own misery, watching as my mother was lowered into the cool clay earth. _

_I still couldn't believe it. Four days had passed since the accident. Phil was still in a coma, and my whole world was upside down. I felt like I fell down the rabbit hole and woke up in this strange new world where nothing was as it seemed to be. My mom was gone and my father's fate was still up in the air; the doctors were optimistic though. They kept telling me that he suffered terrible trauma and when his body was ready to deal with the pain that had been inflicted to it, he would wake up. I didn't buy it. _

_So, there I stood in that sunny Jacksonville cemetery watching as my mother's glossy coffin disappeared into the ground. How's this for irony: Phil woke up the next morning._

_Life went even topsier turvy. I was there when the doctors told him he would never walk again. Phil raged, tossing vases at the hospital wall; a nurse caught a bouquet of sunflowers to the head and had to be rushed off to the ER for stitches. _

_A healthy dose of sedative was dispensed and Phil slipped back into blissful ignorance. I sat in the peach pleather chair wishing I could have something that would help me forget. Something that would take away the image of my mother's still face peering up at me from her position in the coffin; take away the sound of Jim's voice telling me that I couldn't see her because she was dead. The sight of her lying, naked on a gurney, only a sheet covering her, in the morgue at the police station down town. Of all the things I wish I could forget _that_ was the one image that haunted me the most. I'd do anything to forget. If only. _

_Two weeks after the funeral, Phil came home. Grandma was there; she stayed for a few days until one morning I woke up to find her sitting in the kitchen in one of Renee's evening gowns. She'd looked at me strangely when I walked in._

"_Miranda?" she said, sounding confused. "Miranda, you're not ready for the ball."_

_She hopped up out of the chair and rushed toward me, pushing me toward the stairs. "Go upstairs darling, go now and change. You have to hurry or we'll be late!"_

_Jim came, I don't know who called him, but he showed up and took Grandma back to the nursing home. The next morning a nurse arrived, she was sent by some home health care company. She was a grizzled, no nonsense woman who smoked Pall Mall non-filters and cursed like a sailor. If we'd met under different circumstances I was sure I would have loved her. As it was, I could barely fathom getting out of bed, let alone carrying on an intelligent conversation. My whole world had just been destroyed and she did the best she could, bringing me turkey sandwiches and brownies. Anything she thought would put a smile on my face. _

_Her name was Magda, and even though she was tough as nails and could handle anything he threw at her, Phil fired her after two weeks, leaving me to take care of him._

_Jim came by every day to check on us. His wife, Emma, tried to take me to see a shrink. I sat on the shrink's couch, staring at him for an hour. I don't know what he said to Emma, but she never took me back. _

_Then the drinking started. Every night Phil would find himself in the kitchen with his bottle of choice. In the morning I'd find him slumped over in his wheel chair, hung over and stinking to high heaven. He was lucky though. He might have been hung over and passed out, but once again he was granted the reprieve; an hour or four to forget what really happened. And once again I found myself wishing for that same reprieve. _

_In the end though, he saved me. Phil drinking and losing himself saved me. He brought me back from the edge of the precipice, saved me from a life of…a life of what, exactly? Having to clean up after him? Having to carry the weight of having a paraplegic father, a life that wouldn't be my own because I would be too busy taking care of him? _

_A few weeks later I found him in the pool and a few days after that I found myself on a plane to Forks. _

Forks. Here I sat. In a cemetery thousands of miles from home, tears streaming down my face, thinking Phil saved me. He didn't save me; he saved himself – from a miserable life of pain and nothingness. Maybe I should kill myself too. It might be nice to save myself from the same pain and suffering.

The funeral was over, the tent had been taken down and the bright blue of the sky was fading into creamy shades of pink and orange. I wrapped my arms around my abdomen and sat on the crisp grass honestly contemplating suicide. Rocking, I screamed at the heavens; angry at life, angry at God, angry at the asshole who shot my mother and father. I screamed myself hoarse, cried myself tired. I lay down on the ground in front of a grey tombstone and cried into the grass.

The sky grew darker as I lay there. I watched traffic grow thick as headlights danced across the cemetery. In my pocket my cell phone buzzed, an irritating vibration on my leg. I was too tired to pull it out of my pocket.

I was too tired to move

To think.

To breath.

* * *

"Bella?! Bella, are you here? Bella, if you can hear me make a noise so I can find you."

I sat up and looked around. I blinked against the darkness, panic seizing my throat. _Where was I? Who was calling my name?_

"Bella?!" the voice called again.

"Who's th-th-there?" I stuttered, heart racing in my chest.

"Bella?"

I shrank back against the headstone, determined to hide from whoever was calling my name. Then I remembered where I was; the cemetery and it was dark. Christ, how long had I been laying there? I reached into my pants pocket for my vibrating phone.

It was Embry calling, both on the phone and in the cemetery. I flipped the phone open and held it to my ear. "Bella? Bella, where are you?" he asked anxiously.

"Embry," I whimpered. "I'm in the cemetery, Embry. I need you, I need you to come and get me; come help me."

"I'm coming Bella, I just need you to tell me where you are. Do you know where you are?"

I sobbed into the phone.

"Bella, can you see anything? A statue, the street, anything?"

I looked around. "The street," I said softly. "I can see the street."

I heard footsteps in the darkness; leaves crunched as they came closer towards me. "Keep talking to me Bella," I heard Embry say through the phone and aloud.

"Embry?" I asked cowering against the headstone.

"I'm coming Bella, hang on, I'm coming."

From the darkness the soft blue glow of an illuminated cell phone lit up the dark night and Embry's face hovered just above the edge of the glow. I scampered away from the headstone and towards him, launching myself at his chest.

"Oh God," I sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I—I acted like such a bitch and here you are. And here I am and oh God, I don't even know."

Embry wrapped his arms around me. "Jesus Bella, your freezing." He shrugged out of his faded black hoodie and wrapped it around my shoulders, then wrapped his arms around me. "What are you doing out here? Huh, Bella, why are you in the cemetery?"

I didn't know what to say, I just cried into the front of his t-shirt. He rubbed my back. "Half the football team is out looking for you. Jake's with me, I think he went in the other direction. Come on, I'll get you home. Charlie and Sue are worried sick about you."

I tried to walk with Embry's help, but my legs kept giving out. He scooped me up and started toward the car. I pressed my face into his neck and breathed in the scent of my best friend. He was warm and safe, like a lighthouse in a stormy port. I didn't know where I'd go or what I'd do without him.

"Em?" I said softly.

"Yeah Bella?"

"Thank you." I closed my eyes; he jiggled me with every step he took. The sensation of being shaken was making me nauseous.

"For what Bella?"

"For everything. For being my friend, for forgiving me, for finding me. For saving me." Tears spilled from my eyes, dampening the collar of his shirt. "You're my best friend."

"You're welcome Bella. And in case I haven't told you already, you're my best friend too."

He got to the entrance of the cemetery and opened the passenger side door. He set me down and helped me into the car. "I have to call Jake, let him know I found you. Can you start the car?"

I nodded and finagled the keys out of my pocket. Embry walked towards the front of the car and pulled out his cell phone. I started the car and turned the heat on full blast. I shivered at the initial blast of cold air and pulled Embry's sweater tighter around me. He walked back toward the window. I rolled it down and gazed up at him.

"Jake's on his way. Once he gets back I'll take you home, okay?"

I nodded and leaned into the seat. I had a feeling there was going to be hell to pay at home. Charlie was probably going to scream at me for lying down and wishing for death in a cemetery. If he did, I swear to God I'd tell him to fuck off. Plain and simple; fuck off you fucking piece of shit. Okay well maybe not all that.

Jake appeared out of the darkness. He and Embry stood at the hood of the Spyder talking for a few minutes before Jake stepped around Embry. He waved to me as he walked toward his Wrangler. I waved back feebly and watched as he started his Jeep, then pulled onto the street. Embry got in and glanced at me. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Okay. Do you want to stop and get something to eat before I take you home?"

I shook my head no. "I'm fine. Probably should just go and get it over with."

"Your dad is really worried about you. He has half the force looking for you."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Charlie doesn't care about me, he just cares about that fat check he gets every month from my grandmother." For the umpteenth time, tears filled my eyes.

"Bella, Charlie cares. If he didn't, he wouldn't have sent Jake and I to look for you, he wouldn't have all these people out looking for you."

"Yeah, well, we'll see," I muttered.

"Yeah, you will. And Bella?"

"Hmm?" I said glancing at him.

"I'm glad you're okay."

**Reviews are better than being rescued from your own personal demons by a couple of hotties..**

"Counting Stars" - Sugarcult (amazing song..you should listen to it)

Ok...Jake & Embry & Bella.

Embry knows that Bella likes Jake...and that Jake likes Bella....think about it...if you're friend tried to get in the way of you dating someone because they were supposedly "no good" would you listen? Probably not. Especially if you 17...been there, done that, got the emotional scars to prove it..lol. As for Jake getting into Leah's pants..well she's sixteen...as bitchy as she is, she's not that stupid..she's a kid who has no business having sex...that's kind of my own morals coming into play there...maybe her and Jake did other stuff...who knows...

As far as Jake wanting to date Bella...as far as I know (and like I've said before..these characters have minds of their owns...they do what they want,..lol) his intentions in dating her are pure..he's not doing to get back at Leah or piss Embry off..he wants to date her because A. She's hot, B. he thinks shes cool and C. Maybe they have something in common...nothing more, nothing less....and incase its unclear...Jake broke up with Leah because of what she did at the party (to Bella) and because he wanted to "go out" with bella...

hope that clears it up!


	10. Take Me Home

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer**

I'm gonna do some pimpin cuz this was an awesome one shot...so go check out artsbeatsandlife's SOB entry, Deep Undercover & vote for her cuz this was a totally awesome story...

http : // www . fanfiction . net / s / 5413325 / 1 / Deep _ Undercover.

hrm..not much else..as always ShelbySue, beta guru...thank you! It might be a while until the next chapter is up...I'm suffering a wicked case of writer's block..and I'm sick as hell...but I promise I am working on & trying my best to get it done. So bear with me... :)

**BPOV**

When Embry pulled up in front of the house three cruises with their lights flashing were sitting in the driveway. Fear choked me as I got out of the car. Embry grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the house. "Come on," he urged gently. "Its fine, you'll be okay." He dragged me up the walk and pulled open the storm door. Sue came rushing towards us and threw her arms around me, pulling me into a tight bear hug.

"Oh, we were so worried about you," she cried rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Charlie, Bella's back!" she exclaimed as she let go of me. "She's okay."

Charlie marched into the living room, cell phone pressed to his ear. He murmured into it and then quickly snapped it shut. "Bella, sweetheart, are you alright?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry," I repeated again, meekly.

"Where were you?"

"I went for a ride and I was just looking for a quiet place to, you know, think or whatever, and I just lost track of time. I'm sorry for all the—for all this." I swept my hand around the living room, motioning to all the cops and people lingering around.

"It's okay as long as you're okay. No one hurt you did they?" He gave me the cop eye, the one that said, "lie to me and I'll know."

"No, Charlie. No one hurt me," I mumbled. How I wished that were true. "Can I go to bed now?"

Charlie nodded once. "Of course, sweetheart," Sue said.

"I'm sorry," I said once more. Sue's eyes were brimmed in red, worry lines were etched into the corners of her eyes and her forehead. My promise to not cause her any unnecessary stress went right out the window tonight. I started toward the stairs and stumbled. Embry caught me and guided me towards the stairs. "Come on, I'll help you," he offered glancing at Charlie for the okay.

Charlie nodded. Embry slid his arm around my waist and helped me up to my room. After he pushed the door open, he guided me through the darkness to my bed. I crawled in, fully clothed, and laid there wishing this would all just go away. I wanted this to be some horrible nightmare I could just wake up from already.

But it wasn't. This, life here, right now, was real and there was no escaping it. Embry sat down on the edge of my bed and rubbed my back. "What were you doing in the cemetery, Bella?"

Fresh tears welled in my eyes and spilled onto the pillowcase. "I thought I saw someone I knew," I mumbled.

"Someone you knew? Who?" Embry questioned.

"Me," I said softly. "I thought I saw myself in the cemetery. I wanted to know what happens next. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Bella, I don't understand," Embry said running a hand through his dark hair.

"Of course you don't," I said sadly. "No one understands. Why—how can God do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this, huh? What did I ever do? I want my mom," I sobbed.

Embry kicked off his shoes and lay down next to me. "I don't know what _you're _feeling, but I know how I felt every time I watched my father beat my mom. I would sit in my room, and cry and pray to God to make my dad better, or make my mom strong enough to fight back, or _something_. But nothing ever changed. Night after night it was the same thing for years until one night it was different and we left. It's always the darkest when we think there's no hope."

I wiped my eyes and stared off into the darkness. "When will the sun start to shine again?"

Embry shifted in the dark, pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arms around me. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the soft, steady thrumming of his heart. "I don't really know, Bella," he admitted in defeat. His hand stroked my back; up and down, up and down. I grew sleepy.

"Em?" I murmured, eyes dropping.

"Hmm?"

"Stay with me for a while?"

"Sure Bella, sure. I'll stay with you for a while. Just go to sleep okay. Just sleep. It'll all be okay in the morning."

* * *

Embry was still beside me when I woke up the next morning. I felt sick, lost, and disgusted. Embry snorted and pulled my closer to him. I sighed. I couldn't believe last night happened. Freaking out and hiding in a graveyard. Charlie's reaction surprised me, though, I'll admit that.

The sound of feet climbing the stairs stirred Embry. He opened his eyes, blinking against the bright sunlight filtering in through the curtains. "Oh, hey," he mumbled.

"Hi," I said softly.

The footsteps stopped in the open doorway. "Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling this morning, Bella?" Sue asked.

"Better," I breathed. Embry released me and I climbed out of bed. Unsteadily, I walked toward Sue. "I'm so sorry, for last night," I cried. "I promised not to cause you trouble and all I did was cause trouble. I'm so sorry."

Sue patted my arm, then hugged me. "Sweetheart, you didn't cause anyone any trouble. We were worried about you. Your fath—Charlie and I are just glad you're okay. Now how about some breakfast?"

I nodded and together the two of us walked down to the kitchen. The house was quiet, I guessed Leah and Seth went to school. At the table, Sue set a plate of eggs and toast in front of me. She sat down across from me and wrapped her hands around a steaming mug of tea.

"Bella, I'd like to talk to you about something. I completely understand if you don't want to, but I'd at least like you to be open minded. Can you do that?"

I stared down at the plate, shuffling the eggs around. I knew what she was going to say- what was going to come out of her mouth and it wasn't like I was opposed to it, but therapy was for weak people. But she handled the situation last night so well I owed it to her to hear her out.

"I know it might seem strange. But hear me out. I'd like you to consider taking an art therapy class, twice a week at the Rec center down town. It's not like traditional therapy where you sit on a sofa and talk all your problems to death. This is a way to creatively express your emotions in an artistic way. I've seen some of your art from your Printed Arts class. I think this could help you; but only if you want to. Charlie and I won't force you."

I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that she - they, weren't going to start dragging me to some musty shrink's office twice a week. It would have been a waste of their money and a huge waste of my time. I took a bite of the now cold eggs, chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed. "Okay," I said. "I'll try it. But if I don't like it I don't want to be forced to go. Is that okay?"

Sue sipped her tea and nodded. "All I'm asking is that you give it a try. The first class is Saturday afternoon, at three. Would you like to ride with me, or alone?"

"I'll go with you," I said.

* * *

I stayed home all day Thursday and Friday. Embry stayed with me. Sue didn't care as long as the door stayed open. I guess she missed the memo that we were just friends. Embry and I sat in bed. He read _Great Expectations_ to me, stopping every few seconds to ask me what the point of the story was. I would laugh, a sentiment that felt forced after my ordeal, and promise that, after the story was over-if he didn't get it, I would explain.

In the early afternoon we sat there on my bed, Embry's arms draped over my shoulder. "Did you know Jake wants to ask you out?" he said quietly.

I tried to hide a smile. "So I heard," I said finger the edge _Great Expectations_.

"Yeah. Figured Becca told Seth and Seth told you. Do you like him?"

I smiled and blushed. "A little, why?"

Embry shook his head. "Just wondering. I'd love to tell you he's good enough for you, but I'd be lying if I did."

I gazed into his hazel eyes. In that moment I wished that it was Embry, and not Jake, that made my insides turn to mush. If he was half as good a boyfriend as he was a friend I could see a long and happy relationship between the two of us. But it wasn't there. He was comfortable, like an old pair of sweatpants that had gone holey and decrepit, and yet night after night, you pulled them on and just felt comforted by their distress. Embry was comfortable, and comfortable wasn't exciting.

"You'd be okay with it, though right? Me going out with him? Well if he asked me."

Embry nodded. "I guess. But if he hurt you I'd have to kick his ass. If you wanted me to."

I laughed. "God, Em, what would I do without you?" I said, poking him in the stomach.

"I dunno, Bella. I really don't. Are you feeling better?"

I shrugged and glanced out the window. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds and rain was starting to fall. "I still want to go home, you know. I still wish that none of this had happened. I just can't shake the feeling that this is some horrible dream that I can't wake up from, you know?"

Embry nodded. "I know. It'll get better, you'll see."

I sighed. I was sick of hearing that. I just wanted things to hurry up and 'get better.'

"Rome wasn't built in a day," Embry murmured.

"Get out of my head," I replied.

He smiled and took _Great Expectations_ from me and finished where we'd left off.

* * *

At two thirty Saturday afternoon, Sue and I got into her minivan and made the trip to the rec center for our art therapy class. I had to be honest; I wasn't expecting much. Maybe just some nut cases painting strange objects that were supposed to be animals-if you were Tim Burton.

I was pleasantly surprised. The rec center had this old, scuffed wooden floor and the light that filtered in through the dirty glass window gave the room a homey feel. Sue led the way, then left me standing in the doorway staring as she waltzed off toward a group of women clustered in the front of the room. I hesitantly walked in, looking for a secluded easel.

Fifteen minutes later a handsome older man walked in and set down a vase of dead roses. "Afternoon ladies and gentleman. Today we are going to talk about death. Can everyone see this?" he asked motioning toward the vase.

A chorus of _yes_ and _of courses_ went up. The man cleared his throat. "Good. Death can mean many things. The apparent meaning in which something is taken away from us, then the not so obvious side to death, the creation of something new. Think back to a time when you lost something so near and dear to your heart."

The room was quiet save for the man two rows over who could not stop coughing. I thought back to Phil and Renee and their death. _What good came of their death?_ I wondered. _So far, nothing. _

Well that wasn't true. I had a wonderful friend in Embry. That was something new, something good, wasn't it?

"Now show me what you're feeling," the man instructed.

I closed my eyes. The girl from the cemetery floated up from my memory; danced before my eyes. Trembling, I clutched a small nub of charcoal and pressed it to the easel and let my mind and hand become one.

I drew her face, her sad eyes peering back at me. The scene from the cemetery appeared, the blue billowing tent now a shade of the blackest black against the snow white canvas. The other attendees were black shadows, mysterious strangers with no faces. I drew and drew, feeling the pain flow through my hand and out onto the canvas.

The man who'd spoken at the beginning of the class came to stand behind me, yet off to the side. Close enough, but not hovering. "That's very interesting," he said softly. "Keep up the good work." Then he walked toward Sniffles a few rows over.

By the end of class I had finished my drawing, and to my amazement, I felt better. Not cured, but better. Maybe Sue was on to something with this whole art therapy thing. It made me wonder what happened to her; what made her feel like she had to attend art therapy?

The car ride home was quiet with thoughtful silence. We stopped for a cup of hot chocolate before heading home. "Did you like the class?" Sue asked as she handed me my drink.

"I did," I admitted. "If it's okay, I'd like to go back."

"That's fine Bella," Sue replied sounding pleased with herself. "May I ask a question?"

"Sure," I said sipping my hot chocolate, scalding my tongue.

"Is there something going on between you and Embry?"

"No. He's just my friend," I replied choking on my hot chocolate.

Sue nodded. "I see. You two just seem awfully close. I just thought…"

"No, it's okay. We are close, I don't know why. He's just my friend, though. I kind of like this other boy…one of Embry's friends," I admitted.

Sue smiled and turned onto our street. Jake, Embry and Jared were tossing a football around on the front lawn of Jake's house. My cheeks tinged pink as I followed Jake's movements with my eyes.

"Jake," Sue said knowingly.

Heat blazed across my cheeks. "I tried not to like him," I mumbled as she pulled into the driveway.

"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know," Sue said shutting off the car.

"I hear that," I said as we got out of the car. I reached into the back and extracted my art and slammed the door.

"Hey Bella, catch!" Jared yelled and hurled the ball at me.

"Jared, no!" I shrieked.

Jake and Embry both started running for the ball. Jake caught it and staggered to a stop beside me. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm fine," I replied. The blush flamed across my cheeks again. I quickly took a sip of my hot chocolate, trying to hide it from him.

"So, look, I got something I wanted to ask you, but if you're not up for it, I totally understand." He tossed the ball from hand to hand, and peered down at me, his chocolate eyes probing.

"What?"

"Well, if you don't have any plans tonight, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go see a movie with me?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jake nodded, his dark hair falling into his face.

"Sure, I'd like that. Pick me up at nine?"

A huge grin broke across his face. "Yeah, definitely. See you then."

I calmly walked into the house, which was a huge feat. I wanted to scream and do a stupid little dance. I couldn't believe he asked me out. I was on cloud, freaking nine. I drifted up the stairs, charcoal drawing in hand, absolutely elated.

I drifted past Seth's door and made a mental note to pop in and see how he was. I felt like I hadn't seen or talked to him in days. I went up the last flight of stairs and into my room, smiling. Jake asked me out. Once the door was closed, I squealed out loud and did my dance. I looked up and saw my jubilant expression in the mirror.

I saw daylight glimmer in my expression; better was coming and it was coming soon.

**Reviews are almost better than going to see a movie with the hunk next door *wink wink***

"Take Me Home" by The After Midnight Project


	11. She's Got a Boyfriend Now

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer**

hmm...not much to say....here's 11 (12 will be up later) but on a different note..the rest of the chapters are sort of up in the air...my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer last week so I have been down in Boca for the last few days and will be here for a while, taking her to doctors and surgery and all her other appointments. A friend of mine offered to finish the story (because she loves it as much as I do and its not fair to you guys to not finish it) so as of right now its all up in the air, but I promise, as soon as I know more I will let you all know.

On a different note, Pictures of You was nominated for something called a Moonlight Award (woot woot) so if read it and loved it, head on over to the site on Wednesday to vote for it...its the only Team Jake fic that's been nominated! How awesome is that?!?!

themoonlightawards (dot) yolasite (dot) com (forward slash) nominees (dot) php

if that doesn't work the link is on my profile page..use that :D

anyways, thanks to those who read & review and to Shelbysue, beta extrodinairre

**BPOV**

At nine Jake knocked on the front door. Sue answered and let him in. She called up the stairs to let me know he was here. I applied the finishing touches to my makeup, then put some shoes on and hurried down the stairs. I got the curfew spiel from Sue before we left. I hugged her lightly and hurried out the door with a carefree promise to call if I was going to be late.

Jake let me choose the radio station as he drove across town. The streets were crowded with people out and about on a Saturday night. "What did you want to see?" Jake asked stopping at a red light.

I shrugged, bouncing in the seat along to the beat of the music. "I don't really care. That zombie movie looks kind of funny. We can see that if you want to."

Jake went through the intersection and turned left at the next light. "What is this?" I asked pointing at the radio.

"All Time Low, why do you like it?"

I nodded my head along to the music. "I like this song. It's catchy; makes me want to dance."

Jake laughed and sang along to the song. I listened to the chorus and snickered. It was fitting. "Cause I'm damned if I do ya, damned if I don't."

"So you want to see Zombie Land, you're sure?"

I nodded. "Hell yeah, that one dude, the one who looks like a stoner, is hilarious. And the other guy is funny, or at least he is in the previews."

Jake laughed. "You are the strangest girl," he said shaking his head.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Why?"

"You like zombie movies, you understand football, and you don't do all that girly drama. It's awesome."

"Zombie movies fucking rock, football, well ok, blame my dad for that one, but he fucking rocks, and girly drama is overrated," I stated.

Jake pulled into the packed theater parking lot and circled twice looking for a spot. On the third pass, he found a spot and quickly pulled the Wrangler in. Together we walked toward the theater. Jake paid for the tickets and we went inside.

"So did you and Embry work all your issues out?" Jake asked as we waited in line for popcorn.

I nodded. "Of course," I said playfully. "It wasn't his fault. I might not have all that girly drama, but that doesn't mean I don't act like a spoiled bitch sometimes. The night of the party was one of those times."

Jake shrugged. "Eh, you're entitled every now and then."

"Yeah every now and then, but what I said to him was out of line. But whatever, we're cool now." I smiled up at him. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I almost melted against his hand. It was warm and calloused and felt absolutely perfect as his fingers grazed my cheek.

We got to the front of the line and Jake ordered a bucket of popcorn and two sodas. Loaded down with goodies we set off in search of our theater. The room was partially full, but we snagged some seats right under the projector. As the lights dimmed, I reminded myself to keep breathing as my heart raced nine to the dozen in my chest. Jake took me by surprise when he slipped his hand into mine, causing me to fumble the popcorn. I was thankful for the darkness hiding my blush as he held it for the rest of the movie.

All in all, the movie was okay. It had its funny parts, but the previews definitely made it seem funnier. After it ended, we left the theater still hand in hand. "Are you hungry?" Jake asked, letting go of my hand to unlock the car door.

"Maybe a little. Why are you?" I wasn't really hungry, but I really wasn't ready to go home yet. I got into the Jeep.

"Yeah, I could go for a burger. What time do you have to be home?"

I glanced down at my watch. It was nearing eleven. "Let me call him real quick and see if I can stay out a little later." I reached into my purse and dug out my cell phone. Sue answered sleepily and granted me permission to stay out later. After I hung up the phone I turned to Jake and smiled. "I have until 12:30. So let's go get a burger."

Jake drove to a diner down the road from the theater. Surprisingly, there were other diners. A sweet old lady greeted us as we walked in. I smirked as I read her name tag, Marge. The booths were red and black vinyl, the tables white Formica. I was grinning ear to ear as we slide into a booth in the back.

"This place is great."

"I thought you'd like it." Jake beamed, taking my hand once more.

Marge took out orders and shuffled off, leaving us to our talk about school and football.

"You should come over Sunday, watch a game," he shrugged. "Could be fun."

I nodded, beaming at him as Marge set our plates down. "Yeah, just give me a call or whatever. I'll come over."

Jake grinned and took a huge bite of his burger. "How about tomorrow? Cowboys are playing the Giants. Embry and Paul are coming over. You could come too, if you wanted."

I smiled and tried not to look too eager. There was a party going on inside my head. Every part of me was doing the "hell yeah the hottie asked me out" cha-cha. I shrugged, "I'll have to see what's going on tomorrow. Gimme a call and if I can I'll come over."

Marge came back and asked if we wanted any desert. Jake looked at me, waiting to see if I wanted anything. I shook my head no and he asked for the check. Marge set the weathered bill folder down and shuffled away.

Jake reached into his back pocket and extracted his wallet. He slipped some money into the folder and slid out of the booth. "Ready?"

I nodded. "I think so." I didn't want to go home. I wanted to get back into the Wrangler and drive all night with nothing but the glow of the radio to keep us company. For the first time in my life I wished I was older and there was no such thing as curfew.

Jake drove through the deserted streets, the radio playing softly and there was that glow. I sighed happily. It wasn't all night, but it was good enough for now.

At quarter after twelve, Jake pulled into his driveway and we got out of the car. He walked me to the front door and waited as I unlocked the door. "So, thanks. I had a lot of fun," I said softly.

"I did too. Maybe we could do it again," Jake replied.

I nodded. We both stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do next. My heart slammed against my ribs and I had trouble breathing. _Screw this_, I thought. I'd waited too long to do this. I stood on my tip toes and barely grazed his lips. Jake's face registered a look of surprised. "Sorry," he mumbled, "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to, uh, you know."

I smiled. "Yeah, I kinda did. Sorry, I didn't mean to be pushy."

Jake grasped either side of my face and tilted it towards his. Our lips touched, and I swear to God I saw fireworks. The way my body was acting you'd think I'd never been kissed before.

.God.

He let go of my face and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me toward him. All those nights of fantasizing about this moment didn't even come close in comparison. Jake's tongue slid over mine; he tasted like cherry coke and ketchup. I sighed softly and wrapped my arms around his neck. Inside, the grandfather clocked chimed the half hour.

I, unwillingly, broke the kiss. I was lightheaded as if I'd been holding my breath. I took a deep breath of the cold night air. Jakes eyes were hooded and sparked with desire. A tiny thrill went through me. I tripped, grabbing the storm door for support.

"Okay. So, yeah. I'll see you later," I breathed and stumbled into the house.

"Goodnight," Jake said softly.

With the door closed behind me, I smiled. Dreamily I made my way to my room and opened the door. It, my room, was trashed. All my posters and pictures had been torn off the walls, and were shredded; my clothes were tossed all over the floor. My laptop screen looked like someone had put their foot through it. And my books, all my books were ruined. The antique pages lay like forgotten confetti all over the floor. Cloud nine immediately dissipated and I came crashing back to earth at warp speed.

I sank to the floor, grabbing the pages of my destroyed books. A sob caught in my chest as I glanced at the shredded pieces. How could Leah do this to me? I seriously didn't understand. Okay, yeah, I went out with her ex-boyfriend, but he asked me. I didn't go chasing after him. Hell, at first I didn't want anything to do with him. Why would she do this? I dropped the pages to the floor and stared at them.

I shifted my leg, a piled of rubbish slid to the side revealing the picture of Renee and Phil, the one that I kept on my desk. The frame was destroyed and the picture was scribbled on. I picked it up and looked at it.

Renee and Phil's faces were scribbled over; I fingered the edges, tears welling up in my eyes. That was it. I was done with Leah, with her bullshit drama, with everything. I set the ruined picture down and cautiously made my way to bed. First thing in the morning I was going to Sue and Charlie and they were going to do something about it. That was all there was to it.

* * *

When I went down for breakfast the whole family was sitting around the table. Charlie called to me as I walked by.

"Bella, can you come in here and sit down please," he said calmly.

I swallowed hard, feeling like I was about to be in serious trouble for something I didn't do. I sat down on the edge of the seat and started at Charlie.

"Leah told me you took some of her clothes; a pair of jeans, two pairs of shoes, and a shirt. She said she found them in the back of your closet."

My jaw dropped as I looked at him. She told him I stole her clothes. And he believed her. Why was I not surprised. "I—I didn't steal her clothes," I sputtered. "We aren't even the same size for crying out loud. I'd have to gain like fifty pounds to fit into her clothes." Under the table I clenched and unclenched my fists. I wanted to fly over this table and beat the shit out of her –again.

"If anything, why don't you ask Leah about what she did to my room," I said angrily.

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "What she did to your room? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about all my books that are now ruined because someone ripped their pages out, I'm talking about my laptop that looks like someone kicked the screen out of. I'm talking about the picture of-" my voice cracked, "the picture of my parents that's scribbled all over."

I furiously blinked the tears away. There was no way in hell I was letting that hoe see me cry. Charlie glanced at Leah. "Is that true?" he asked.

Leah batted her eyelashes. "No, Daddy. I only went into Bella's room to see if she had my stuff. Maybe she did it just to get me in trouble."

Charlie smiled at Leah. "Okay pumpkin." Then he turned to look at me. "Bella, I don't know who did those things to your room, but you have no proof is was Leah-"

"Why the hell would I tear up my own books and pictures of my parents? How stupid do you have to be," I screamed jumping out of my chair. It fell back and hit the floor with a loud thud. I stood there, breathing heavily, staring at Charlie.

"Watch your language young lady. I will not allow you to speak to me that way. As for your things. I don't know what happened and until I have proof there's nothing I can do. On the other hand, you're grounded for two weeks for taking your sisters-"

"She's _not_ my sister," I sneered.

"For taking your sisters things. End of discussion."

I rolled my eyes and walked past the fallen chair. I couldn't believe this. The bitch gets away with trashing my room, and I get grounded for stealing her clothes. We weren't even the same size, any idiot with two eyes could see that. I was taller and thinner than her. Unless I wanted to go swimming in her clothes I had no reason to take them.

What the fuck ever, I thought as I went into the kitchen. I was no longer hungry. I opened the fridge and took out the orange juice. Leah entered the kitchen and grabbed my glass. "Thought you could steal my boyfriend and get away with it. I told you not to mess with me. Guess you're stupid like your mom and don't know how to listen."

I reached into the fruit basket on the counter in front of me and picked up an orange. I gave it a good squeeze. "Leah, I'm only gonna say this once. Touch my stuff, talk about my parents, look at me funny one more time and I'm going to beat the living shit out of you. I swear to god I will kick your fucking face in. I'm not kidding and if you think I am, just go ahead and try me," I said calmly.

Leah's face registered the softest shade of surprise. I continued, "As for stealing your boyfriend? Please. Jake broke up with you because you're a bitch. And by the way, I'm kind of bummed you never told me how great a kisser he is. I guess it's one of those things you have to experience firsthand, huh?"

Leah sputtered, her face turning bright red.

I relaxed my grip on the orange and walked past her. "Touché, bitch."

* * *

Seth helped me clean up the mess in my room. He seemed just as upset as me to see all my stuff lying ruined on the floor. "I saw her do it," he said as he tossed what was left of Beowulf into the overflowing trash bag on the floor next to him. "I'm gonna tell my mom, that I saw her come in here and ruin your room."

I sighed. "I appreciate that Seth, but do you really think she'll believe you? I mean even Charlie didn't believe it."

"Yeah well, Dad's a little, um, based, is that the word?"

"You mean biased?" I asked scooping up a handful of paper.

"That's the word that means he likes Leah better than us, right? That he treats her better than us?"

I nodded. "Yup, that's what it means. He's got a better opinion of little Miss "holier than thou", than he does of us."

"We should steal frogs from the biology lab and put them in her bed," Seth suggested as he tried to tape a My Chemical Romance poster back together.

"Don't worry about that Seth. She ripped it right in half. It's trash. But thank you for trying to fix it." On the desk next to shattered remains of my laptop, my cell phone started to ring.

"_It was a lie when they smiled and said you won't feel a thing," _the phone, well MCR sang. "_You're just a sad song with nothing to say."_

I grabbed it and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hey pretty girl," Jake greeted me.

"Hey. What's up?" I cradled the phone between my ear and my neck and scooped up more trash.

"Nothing much. What are you doing?"

"Cleaning my room. Leah trashed it while we were out last night," I told him. A handful of pictures went into the bag.

Jake sighed. "Are you sure it was Leah and not Seth?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm sure."

"How do you know?"

I walked to the window and looked out. Jake was sitting on the end of his bed, his back to me. "Because he's right here with me, helping me clean it up. And he said he saw Leah come in and after I was gone last night."

"Did you tell Charlie and Sue?"

"Yes," I sighed. "They didn't believe me. Well, at least Charlie didn't. He grounded me for two weeks."

"Damn Bella, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault she's a psychotic bitch. It's okay, though, she'll get what's coming to her. Karma's a bitch that way."

Jake laughed. "I guess that's another way of looking at it. So anyway, the reason I was calling was to find out what you were doing later this afternoon, but since you're grounded I guess it doesn't matter, huh?"

I tied the trash bag and carried to the door. I set it down next to the other two that were already sitting there. "No, I guess it doesn't. But I'm glad you called."

Across the room Seth gagged and started making kissy faces. I threw a crumbled ball of paper at him. He grinned and bent down to shove more discarded paper into the trash bag. I sighed. "Well, look I gotta get this mess cleaned up. Sorry I can't watch the Giants spank the Cowboys with you."

Jake got up from the end of his bed and walked to his window. I waved. "See you tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

**Reviews are almost better than going out with the hunk next door (keyword..almost)**

"She's Got a Boyfriend Now" by Boys Like Girls


	12. Fighting My Way Back

**A/N: The wonderful world of Twilight and all its inhabitants belong to the ever wonderful Stephenie Meyer..though I would mind having just a smidgen of her success..lol**

now for me to talk you to death. had a free minute to pop in and post this...you guys are awesome and I love you all for reading...so thank you and thank you to my beta shelbysue who is always awesome...now for my friend finishing the story..I have chapters 13, 14, and 15 written, they just need some love & tlc...all in all the story will have 23 (i think im running on about four cups of coffee and a snicker bar right now..probly couldn't spell my name at this point) chapters...so its all up in the air right now..but i swear to the Reeses cup Gods that I will finish it, even if I have to sleep an hour a day..lol...now for the business part

Pictures of You was nominated for a Sparkle Award & a Moonlight Award...it would be TOTALLY EFFIN AWESOME if you all went to vote for it...cuz that would totally make my life..srsly.

here's the links

Sparkle Award:

http://thesparkleawards (dot) webs (dot) com (forward slash) nominees (dot) htm

Moonlight Award:

http://themoonlightawards (dot) yolasite (dot) com (forward slash) nominees (dot) php

(im sorry if they don't work..check the profile for links that do work)

now here ya go..chapter 12

**BPOV  
**

"Good morning pretty girl," Jake called as he hopped out of his Jeep. Seth rolled his eyes and called goodbye as he hurried toward the school. Jake hurried to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Did you get your room put back together?"

I snorted. "Yeah, for the most part. That crazy bitch destroyed all my stuff, posters, pictures, even all my books."

Jake sighed. "I'm sorry Bella. I should've known this was gonna happen."

I waved him off. "Please. Like I said, she's crazy, she'll get hers."

He opened the door and I followed him in. "So I know you're on lock down, but you can still meet me in the library tomorrow, right? For our homework?"

"Yeah, I can be there. I think after tomorrow we should be good to go. Either that or I can see if Charlie will let me come over tonight and we can just finish them then." I opened my locker and gazed at the contents.

"Well, yeah, if Charlie will let you come over tonight, then, sure why not. The sooner we knock them out the better. Then I guess Tuesday we can combine them and turn them in Wednesday morning. Sound good?"

I reached into my locker and grabbed my books as well as the copy of Our Town. I'd chosen to do a monologue from that for my audition for the fall play, which was today. I was nervous. If this was my old school I'd would've been in like Flynn. I took a deep breath and turned to face Jake. "I'm auditioning for the fall play this afternoon."

He stared skeptically at me. "The school's play, really?"

I nodded, reaching for a notebook. "Yeah," I said and slammed the locker. "I promised my grandmother I would."

Jake nodded and grabbed my hand. "Well then, good luck." He kissed my cheek, gently brushing his lips over the fevered skin. God I hated that, every time he even so much as looked at me that stupid blush crept over my skin. We stepped out onto the sidewalk and headed toward English. "You know I had a lot of fun Saturday night," I said looking up at him.

Jake smiled. "I did too. Once you get ungrounded we should go out again."

My heart did somersaults. "Okay," I said nonchalantly. "So how did the Giants do?" I asked as we walked into English and took our seats.

Jake laughed. "They kicked the Cowboys asses all the way up and down the field. The final score was 38 to 3."

I stared at him. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. Burnette came in as the bell rang, her brunette hair a frizzy halo above her mousy face. I turned to face the chalkboard as well as whatever evilness Burnette had planned for us this morning.

* * *

Embry and I walked toward the cafeteria together after Calculus. "How was your date with Jake Saturday night?" he asked as we walked around the same couple who always seemed to be making out in the middle of the sidewalk.

I spun around to face them. "Dude, seriously. Get a room or something already."

Embry laughed. "Bout damn time someone told them that."

I smiled. "The date was fine. We saw that zombie movie and went to that kitschy dinner just down the road from the theater. You know the one with the red and black booths?"

Embry made a face. "Really? He took you there?"

"Yeah, why, what's wrong with it?" I asked.

Embry didn't say anything. He was acting kind of strange, like something was bugging him, but I had no idea what it was. I stared at him, watching as something passed over his eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked grasping his arm.

That look briefly passed across his face again. "Yeah, Bella, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "The school play auditions are today. Are you auditioning?" he asked, changing the subject. We walked into the cafeteria and went through the line. Something was definitely up, though what, I had no idea. I had the sneaking suspicion it had something to do with me going out with Jake. I ignored the uneasy sensation and thought about the play.

"Yeah, I think I am," I said. "I don't know how likely I am to get a role, but whatever. I promised my grandmother I would so I am."

"Do you have your monologue picked out?" Embry asked as we sat down at our table.

I picked at my tray. Another day, another overly greasy slice of pizza. I pulled the pepperoni off and discarded it. I really wasn't hungry. I was nervous. I had a monologue picked out. I didn't like it, but out of the choices we were given it was the best.

"It's one from a play called Our Town. The character's talking to this guy, George, about how's he's changed. She loves him, but in the monologue she's pretty pissed off at him." I shrugged. "It isn't No Exit, which was my first choice, but it'll do."

"Wanna practice it with me?" Embry offered. "I'd be glad to listen."

"Sure, but can we go outside?"

Embry shook his head and stood up. I followed and we dumped our trays and headed outside. It was freezing but it helped me concentrate. "Okay ready?"

Embry nodded and sat down on one of the wooden picnic tables. I took a deep breath and smiled. Embry returned the smile and waited patiently. I exhaled and pointed my finger at Embry.

"I don't like the whole change that's come over you in the last year," I said crossly, shaking my finger at him. "I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I've got to- tell the truth and shame the devil. Up to a year ago I used to like you a lot. And I used to watch you as you did everything?" I stopped and stared at him, trying to remember the next part. "Because," shit, what was the rest? It was something about friends, I think. "Because we'd been friends so long?" I said and glanced at Embry. "I think that's the next line."

"Do you have it written down?"

I nodded and dug around in my backpack for the copy of Our Town that I'd checked out of the library. I flipped through the pages until I found the scene. I glanced down at it and handed it to Embry. "You ready?" he asked. I nodded and started again.

"Because we'd been friends so long and then you began spending all your time at baseball? And you never stop to speak to anybody anymore. Not even your own family." I was starting to feel Emily Webb's anger because it was easy. The pain was there in her words, and I was still pissed at Leah for trashing my room. I turned and walked away from Embry.

"George, it's a fact, you've got awful conceited and stuck up, and all the girls say so." I called over my shoulder, then turned and walked back the way I'd come. "They may not say so to your face, but that's what they say about you behind your back, and it hurts me to hear them say it, but I've got to agree with them a little. I'm sorry if it hurts your feelings? But I can't be sorry I said it."

Embry set the book down and began clapping. I smiled, embarrassed. "Was that okay?"

"Duh, Bella. That was amazing. If you don't get a part, hell if you don't get the lead I'll throw a football at Mr. Ross's head. "You want to do it one more time before the bell rings?"

I nodded. Embry opened Our Town and I recited the monologue once more before the end of the lunch hour. I took the copy of Our Town from Embry and shoved it into my backpack. "Well, good luck this afternoon. I hope you get an awesome part," Embry said before heading in the opposite direction.

I waved and headed off toward the first of my afternoon classes, all of which passed quickly. At three I pushed open the door to the theater and breathed in the familiar smell of drama and teenage angst. No matter what school, what theater you were in they all smelled the same. It was easy to pretend I was somewhere else when I was here. I crossed the threshold and let the door click quietly shut behind me.

The house lights were on and I made my way down the slight decline to where Mr. Ross, the theater teacher, was sitting. He smiled at me as I offered him my audition form.

He consulted it briefly then asked me to take a seat, which I did. I dropped my backpack into the chair next to me and sank into the cushy seat. With shaking fingers I pulled out my book and re-read the dialogue once more, just to be sure I really knew it. At 3:15, the last bell rang and Mr. Ross stood, addressing all those who showed up for the audition.

"Okay people. You have a minute thirty to give it all you got. At the end of your monologue you may leave. Call backs will be posted in the hall tomorrow morning, and you will be expected to be here tomorrow afternoon at three sharp if you receive a call back. Any questions?"

There was a nervous shuffle, but no one spoke up. Mr. Ross clapped his hands and smiled. "Alright then, let's begin." He called the first person, a girl from my American government class. She stood under the harsh spotlight, squinting. "R-ro-rom-ro-Romeo," she finally said and proceeded to stutter her way through the rest of the monologue. As Mr. Ross went down the list, each person was worse than the previous. Finally, he called my name.

I took a deep breath and wiped my hands on my jeans as I climbed the stairs and stood center stage. I exhaled and channeled Emily Webb. "I don't like the whole change that's come over you in the last year," I began. "I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I've got to- tell the truth and shame the devil. Up to a year ago I used to like you a lot."

I breathed a sigh of relief that I made it through the entire monologue without flubbing up or forgetting any or the lines.

"Brava, Miss Dwyer," Mr. Ross said as I calmly walked off the stage after I finished. As I collected my things, I felt the warm rush of success wash over me. I was fairly certain that when the call back list went up tomorrow morning, my name would be on it.

* * *

After dinner that night, I grabbed my notebook, my copy of The Taming of the Shrew and headed to Jake's house. Charlie had kicked up a fuss about it, callously reminding me I was grounded. When he found out it was a school assignment he shut right up. I didn't understand his personality transplant. One minute he's nice, actually organizing search parties to find me, then accusing me of stealing Princess Pain in the Asses clothes. Whatever. I should just punch him in the head and be done with it, but I suspected that wouldn't turn out so well.

I rang Jake's doorbell. Becca answered, pushing the heavy glass door open. "Hi Bella!" she chirped.

"Hey kid. Is your brother home?" I asked peering into the house. From around the corner, a loud thudded sounded. Then another.

"Here he comes," Becca said rolling her eyes. Jake stepped up behind her and tried to look cool.

"Hey," he said.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Hey."

We stood there staring at each other for a moment. "So," I finally said, "Are we gonna do our homework on the porch?"

"Oh, my bad. Come on in."

I stepped in and waited as he closed the door behind me. "Come on, my stuff's upstairs." He grabbed my hand and dragged me off to his room. A tiny thrill went through me as I climbed the stairs. Inside the room of the hunk next door, how freaking exciting.

Jake opened the door to his room and I stepped inside. He shut the door and motioned for me to sit down. I looked around, decided the bed was the safest place.

"So, lines right?" he asked, sitting down in his desk chair.

I nodded and flipped my notebook open to my version of Shakespeare. I handed the book to Jake, who quickly skimmed it. "Where are yours?" I asked.

He shuffled through some papers on his desk, muttering to himself. "Ah, here they are!" he said, extracting a rumpled sheet of notebook paper from a pile on the desk.

I took it and glanced at the mess. "Explain to me how you're the valedictorian when your homework looks like this?"

Jake snorted. "I wouldn't turn that in. I've just been busy lately and haven't had a chance to organize my shit."

I glanced at the lines. They were okay, actually they were pretty good. A lot like mine, in fact. "Wow," I said.

"What?"

"These aren't half bad. They're actually a lot like mine. Which is good, it won't be so hard to combine them."

Jake stood, picking my notebook up and walked over to sit next to me. "Yeah, you're right," he said peering over my shoulder. "We can combine these two, and that one. I really like that one," he said pointing at the different phrases. "And we can use those, instead of these. If you want to."

I nodded and turned my head slightly. His lips were a centimeter from mine. My eyes flickered up and caught his gaze. He moved forward, his lips brushed against mine. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Jake moved and I felt myself slowly falling back into his very comfortable bed. He ran his tongue over mine, then drew my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked. I fisted my hands into his hair and prayed this moment could last forever. Jake was reaching for the hem of my shirt when his door suddenly opened and a breathless Becca burst in.

"Jake!" she shouted, then when she saw what she'd interrupted, she yelled, "Ew!"

Jake groaned and turned to glance over his shoulder at her. I untangled my fingers from his hair and pulled my shirt down, totally mortified. "What Becks?"

"Telephone," the girl said. "I'm telling Dad you were kissing a girl in your room. You're so gonna get grounded." She stuck her tongue out and skipped down the hall.

Jake stood up and cleared his throat. "I – uh, I better go see who it is."

"Okay, well, I guess since we're done, I, um, I should probably get home before Charlie has a conniption fit."

"Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school."

I nodded and quickly grabbed my stuff and followed Jake back downstairs. He walked me to the door, watching as I crossed the dark lawn. I let myself into the house and quickly hurried to my room. I shut the door and tossed my things on my bed. Jake's blinds were open, he was on the phone pacing. That seemed like his favorite thing to do. Talk, pacing, on the phone; I kinda wondered who he was talking to. It was probably one of the guys, Jared or Embry.

Speaking of Embry, I had to call him to let him know how the audition went. I grabbed my cell phone out of my bag and dialed his number.

"Hey I was just getting ready to call you," he said in lieu of a greeting.

"Well check that out. Great minds really do think alike. What's up?"

Embry laughed. "Well I dunno, why don't you tell me, seeing as how you called me."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "I was just calling to tell you how the audition went."

"And?" he asked sounding genuinely excited.

"I nailed it," I said. "Mr. Ross said he's going to post the call backs in the morning so you're gonna, like, either have to ride to school with me or meet me in front of the theater first thing."

"Okay, I'll ride with you. What if you don't get a call back?"

"Geez thanks buzz kill. I dunno. It is what it is, you know. Either a get a call back or I don't. Whatever. There will be other plays, you know."

"Yeah I know, but you worked so hard for this. I think you'll get a part, hell I think you'll get the lead. Just wait and see."

"Yeah, wait and see. I hate waiting." I didn't want to wait; I was more for instant gratification. When I wanted something I wanted it right then and there. Screw waiting. I sighed.

"I know you do," Embry sympathized. "But look, I have to get my homework done. Skipping a week of calc kind of put me behind but I'll meet you in front of your house and we can check the callbacks first thing, alright."

"Fine," I pouted. "See you tomorrow.

**Reviews are better than nailing your audition**

**Fighting my Way back - The After Midnight Project  
**


	13. You Never Notice Me

Chapter thirteen

You Never Notice Me

Embry

A/N: The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers

I stood at the end of my driveway watching as Bella and Seth walked toward her Spyder. She smiled, tossing her head back as she laughed at something Seth said. She unlocked the doors with a flick of her brunette hair. Seth got in, calling to her as he did so. The sound of his slamming door echoed down the street. Bella looked over at Jake's house, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips.

She got into the car and zipped off in the direction of the school. She drove me crazy. Absolutely crazy. I wanted to shake her and kiss her all in the same moment. Take last night for instance. After I hung up the phone the first time she called me, it rang again five minutes later.

"Hey it's me again. Don't worry about riding with me. Just meet me in front of the theater, okay?" Her voice was bubbly, like happy bubbles in a bubble bath.

"Okay," I had replied. I didn't ask why she changed her mind. I just figured she'd call back in another five minutes to tell me to ride with her.

She hadn't. My lame ass sat in my room, staring at the phone half the damn night willing it to ring. It hadn't and I'd gone to bed pissed off and hurt which was just fucking stupid. It's not like she knew how I felt.

_Not like she'd care, either,_ I thought. I sighed and pounded the roof of my Civic. I fucking hated this. I hated the sick feeling, the jealousy that washed over me anytime Jake made her laugh, when he put his hand on the small of her back, or the way she looked at him, all goo goo eyes and mushy teenage lust.

_Best place to be_, I thought angrily, _between boy and friend_. That's exactly where I was snuggled. Safely locked there in the friend zone. She didn't know how I felt; I'd never told her. And I highly doubted I ever would. She never noticed me that way; her gaze never lingered, eyes probing, as if wondering what if.

Fucking Jake, too. What an asshole. I could, should, punch him in the nuts. Fucking douche bag and the diner. I made a comment about it, the week before he asked her out. I mentioned something about maybe seeing if Bella wanted to go see a movie that weekend and how I thought she'd like the diner. It seemed like something that would be right up her alley. Then the douche bag klepto's my plans and takes her to see the same movie I was going to take her too, and the same diner. Fucking mother fucker.

I got into my ancient Civic and drove to school, a bootleg copy of the new Mayday Parade played in the CD player. I reached out and turned the volume up so loud, the back windows rattled and the empty chip bags shook on the floor of the backseat.

"_Tear in two, she lies awake, the moonlights soft, the moonlight day, another night she spends along without his touch her skin's so cold."_

I beat the steering wheel in time with the beat and sang along. "Memories they take her back, every moment fades to black, every kiss and every taste, she wishes time would ease the pain."

I pulled into the parking lot at school and glanced at the looming buildings. This song reminded me of Bella. She seemed like she was doing so much better; but there was still that underlying sadness she tried to hide.

I saw it there though, lurking just under the surface. It was in her words. In the way she walked and talked; even in her drawings. There was always a darkness lurking just below the pastel smears. I loved her, and she was too in lust with Jake to see it.

It killed me, seeing her with Jake. It was, quite literally, like taking my heart and putting it into a blender on pulverize. I couldn't even listen to him say her name without feeling like I was going to vomit. And the funny thing is; it – this feeling – just sort of crept up on me one night.

I'd been in my room listening to some Sirius XM and they played this acoustic version of a Jason Mraz song. Normally I hated the dude's music, that damn I'm Yours song made me want to hurl, but there was this one line that got me. I'd gotten up to change it, but that line – it was like a light bulb going off in my head. I sat down on the edge of my bed and listened to the rest of the song, feeling well…stunned.

"_And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking, you know nothing. Cause you and I, why, we go carrying on for hours, on and… we get along much better than you and your boyfriend. Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use…"_

The more he sang, the more sick I felt. That's exactly how I felt about Bella, but I never realized it. She was my best friend, which was strange because I'd been perfectly content with my life. But then she moved here and turned my whole life upside down.

The night I found her in the cemetery, cowered up against the headstone; god it almost broke my heart. She cried in her sleep, chasing ghosts and begging her mom to come back. I lay there, running my hands up and down her back wishing for things I knew I could never have. I was going to choke to death on all these things I didn't say.

A tapping on my window brought me back to the here and now. I turned and looked out the window. Bella smiled down at me. Involuntarily, I smiled back. Shutting off the car, I grabbed my backpack and got out.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I was waiting for you in front of the theater, but you never showed so I came to look for you. Why were you just sitting in your car? Were you trying to off yourself?"

I shook my head no. "I thought I forgot something, I was trying to remember if I did. Anyway, is the call back list up?"

Bella shrugged and bit at the fingernail on her right index finger. "I'm too afraid to look. I don't think my name will be up there. Can you look for me?"

Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I got out of the car. "Come on," I said, throwing my arm over her shoulder, "let's go see."

We walked into the main building and pushed our way through the crowd, toward the hallway that ran parallel to the theater. Kelly Hansen walked by us, crying. Bella looked up at me, worry and fear in her eyes.

"She was bad so I hope those were 'damn I didn't make it tears' and not 'oh I'm so glad I got a call back' tears."

I snorted and approached the bulletin board. Tacked, dead center, on a pristine sheet of white paper, was the call back sheet. I skimmed it, looking for Bella's name. I didn't have to go far. Printed there, in bold font, at the top of the page was Bella's name. I turned and frowned at her.

"Well," I said sadly, stifling a grin as her smile faltered.

"Okay, it's okay, you don't have to say it," she said dejectedly.

"Well I was going to say I hope the play doesn't fall on a Friday night because I really want to see you perform. You got a call back knucklehead!"

Bella screamed and did this retarded dance, which I assumed was her infamous happy dance. "I got a call back?" she shouted.

"Yeah you did," I said.

"I got a call back, I got a call back," she sang and I laughed.

"You did, now knock that off before they haul you off to the nurses office for a drug test and breathalyzer."

The first bell rang. People started moving towards their classes. "Thank you," Bella said throwing her arms around my neck. She smelled like citrus fruit, I wanted to bury my face into her neck and breathe her in.

"For what?" I knew what she was thanking me for, but I wanted to stay like this for just a second longer.

"For checking. I was too chicken shit to do it myself. So thank you for looking."

The warning bell rang. "Oh shit, I'm gonna be late. See you in Calc!" Bella called as she took off toward her first class.

I watched her go. I didn't care about being late to gym. The only thing I cared about was her, and the sickening feeling I got every time I watched her walk back to Jake.

* * *

"You Never Notice Me" by Saosin

"the Silence" by Mayday Parade (the song Embry was singing)

"If it Kills Me {from the Casa Nova Sessions}" by Jason Mraz


	14. Say All I Need

Disenchanted

Chapter fourteen – Say- All I Need

Bella

A/N: The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers

My fingers skimmed the rough surface of the blank canvas; each little nub in the material was like a stitch repairing my broken heart.

Joy was the topic of the day. Arthur Kensington, the instructor, therapist, psychiatrist, whatever, wanted us to draw joy.

It should have been easy. I'd gotten exactly what I wanted. I got Jake. I got a role in the play. A lead role, though technically they were all leads; but seeing as how there were only eight roles I was lucky I even got a part.

I refocused my attention to the canvas in front of me and the blood red pastel in my hand. Joy. It was such a simple word, yet so hard to express artistically. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, thinking of things that brought me joy.

I let myself fall back into my memories, revisiting all the things that brought me joy. My mind stopped at one day in particular. It was late summer in Jacksonville, right in the middle of the rainy season. A tropical storm was battering away at the coast, dropping more rain than normal.

There was a break in the rain, a few hours of sunshine; the eye of the storm. Suddenly, the neighborhood came to life. Dogs started barking, kids screaming. Down the street a lawnmower started. I smiled at the kids playing basketball in the street. A breeze stirred the palm fronds on the tree outside my room. The wide leaves waved, beckoning me to come outside and enjoy the sunshine, however brief.

As I stepped onto the balcony, great gray clouds rolled in from over the east, the sky darkened. In the distance thunder rumbled. The street outside was suddenly quiet. The children, animals, and lawnmowers retreated back to the safety offered indoors.

Suddenly the image appeared in my head. I could see it as clearly as if I was standing there again watching it occur. My hand started moving erratically over the page. I put the red pastel down and reached for a gray one.

In my head, I stood on the balcony my face turned to the sky, the swollen clouds spilling their bounties. I turned my face to the sky, the cool wind whipped around me blowing my hair out.

I smiled happily as the fragrant scent of rain misted my face. My eyes slid shut slowly as I inhaled the fresh scent greedily. The rain fell harder; above me, the dark sky was ripped open, jagged bolts of lightning lit up the storm scorched sky. Close by thunder boomed, a deafening crash above my head that made the windows rattle.

The rain slowed to its normal, lackadaisical drizzle. Thunder boomed again, further away this time. Another gust of wind blew; the warm air a stark contrast to the chill of the rain on my face, the fresh scent of newly sheared grass forced itself upon me. I sighed, content. I wanted to take all the sounds and smells of that simple day and put them in a jar. Save them for another day, a darker day.

It was amazing how a simple thunderstorm made me so happy. It was just one of those moments you just wanted to carry with you because it made you feel so good. Moments like those were rare.

I opened my eyes and glanced at the canvas. It was shabby by comparison, but for just a few moments I was able to relive that thunderstorm.

Arthur stood next to me, admiring the drawing. "You have an amazing talent, Bella," he said softly.

Crossing my arms I stared at the drawing. "You think so?"

Arthur nodded. "I do. It stirs something inside of me. Looking at this it makes me wish I was able to be there, in that storm with that girl. She seems to be enjoying the rain. Good job."

He gently placed his hand on my shoulder, patting it once before moving on to Mr. Sniffles; the man always seemed to be coughing or sneezing.

At the end of class Sue met me by the door, her canvas tucked under her arm. "Ready?" she asked.

I nodded following her out to the van. We'd grown closer in the span of a few days. Sue really seemed to, I dunno, get me. She knew when something was bothering me and how to approach it.

Today she was quiet, which worried me. We made our customary stop to 7-11 for hot chocolate. Back in the car, I set the steaming cup of cocoa in the cup holder and buckled my seat belt.

Sue set the keys in the ignition and turned to face me. "Bella, I need to ask you something and I need you to give me an honest answer," she said.

I gulped. This was either going to be the ever embarrassing sex talk lead in question, or I'd done something I shouldn't have.

"What happened to all your things?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"All your books, your laptop; your walls used to be covered in posters of that band, chemically induced romance-"

"My Chemical Romance," I corrected.

Sue waved her hand. "Same difference. You used to have your walls papered in posters, now they're gone. Seth said Leah tore up all your books and posters. Is that true? Did Leah destroy your things?"

_Deny, deny, deny!_ My mind screamed. "No," I said, the lie coming out smoothly. "Leah didn't do anything to my room. I took the posters down, and put the books into my trunk to make room for um, for other stuff, you know."

"No, I don't know. When you first came here you loved those books, and now you're making room for other stuff. Something's going on and I'd like to know what."

I shrugged. "Nothing's going on. I just wanted to make room for other things. I have different interests now, things I wasn't interested in before I moved here, that's all."

Sue started the car. She stared at the windshield for a moment before turning back to me. "What about Leah's clothes? Did you steal them like she said you did?"

I stared at the lid to my cup not saying a word. Sue pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the house. "Did you, Bella?"

I shrugged. "What's it matter? Charlie thinks I did, he grounded me for it and I'm serving my punishment. Why's it matter if I took her stuff or not?"

Sue turned into the sub-division, the blinker a steady ticking sound in the background. "Because I know you didn't do it. You girls are different sizes. Leah's curvy, you, well, not so much. I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me."

"Look, Sue, please, just let it go. Everything is fine, there's nothing wrong. I'm fine. Please, just – please stop, okay."

Jesus Christ this woman was persistent. I wasn't going to go running to Leah's mom and snitch on her. Leah was bound to mess up at some point, and when she did, she'd get caught in her own lies.

Sue turned onto our street. She looked at me like she knew I was lying, but knew enough to let it go like I asked.

"Alright, well, like I keep telling you if you need to talk, I'm here for you."

I nodded. Pushing the door open, I got out of the van. I reached into the backseat, snatched my drawing and fled into the house. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to be uneasy around Sue. I wanted to spill my guts to her in the hopes that she could make it all better. She was like all the good things about my mom, plus some, rolled into one amazing woman. I wanted her to hug me and tell me it was all going to be alright.

In my room, I leaned the drawing against the wall and looked around to make sure that Leah hadn't destroyed anything else in my absence. Everything was as it should be.

* * *

My two weeks of punishment, well more like week and a half, passed. Charlie let me off early for what he claimed was, "Good Behavior."

I rolled my eyes as I walked away from that conversation. The man had to be bi-polar. His moods swings and personality transplants were leaving my dizzy. I stayed close to home, even though I was ungrounded. I was sort of hoping to catch Leah in the act of destroying something so that when I pushed her down the stairs of cut her brakes, I'd be completely justified in doing so.

I went to art therapy with Sue and went on a second date with Jake. We left after school the Friday I would've gotten off punishment and drove into the city. Jake wouldn't tell me where we were going, just that I was going to enjoy it and had to dress nice.

Shortly after four that afternoon, he parked the car in a parking lot in the middle of the city. I got out of the jeep, pulling my jacket tightly around me. "Where are we?" I asked looking around.

"Well, right now we're in a parking lot. I figured we could get something to eat first. We still have some time before the other thing is supposed to start."

"The other thing?" I asked, suddenly a little worried. "What's the other thing?"

"Come on. You'll have to wait and see." He gently took my hand as we walked out of the parking lot. "So, how's the play rehearsal going?"

I smiled, staring down at the sidewalk. I was a jumble of nerves. I liked the fact that he had that affect on me. "It's good," I said. "The show opens in two weeks. I'm a little nervous."

"You'll be amazing," he said.

I blushed. "Thanks," I said softly. "How's football?"

"Oh it's good. If we keep winning like we have been, we'll make the play-offs for sure," Jake said enthusiastically.

"That's cool," I said.

We walked in silence for a few blocks. This was strange; we really had nothing to talk about. This was definitely different from being with Embry.

_That's because you're not dating Embry, _my subconscious replied. I stifled a snicker. That was true. Jake was definitely not Embry. Psht, Embry was definitely not Jake either.

"You okay?" Jake asked looking down at me.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just don't know what to talk about."

Jake laughed. "Me either. Here, hold on." He stopped me and glanced at the building next to us. "Are you hungry?"

I shrugged. "A little. What is this place?" I turned to look at it. It was one of those little hole in the wall type of restaurants; bright crimson curtains hung in the windows and candle light flickered just beyond the windows.

"Some restaurant, let's check it out."

He tugged my hand and I followed behind him. Together we entered the quaint little restaurant and were seated at a quiet booth.

"So what are we doing tonight?" I asked, sipping the sweating glass of water that was on the table before me.

Jake's eyes twinkled mysteriously. "It's a surprise. You'll have to wait and see."

I didn't want to wait and see. We ordered dinner and ate, trading bits of conversation. By the time we left the restaurant, twilight had settled over the city. Jake held my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, and the two of us walked toward the north end of the city. Past the parking lot where the car was parked until he finally stopped in front of a building that looking like it jumped right out of the 1940's.

"What is this place?" I looked up at the large brick building, craning my neck to see the sign.

"This, my gorgeous girl, is the Welles Theater."

I stared at him, shocked. "As in real theater, with real stage actors. Not a movie theater?" My heart beat against my rib cage in giddy anticipation. "What are we seeing?"

Jake guided me to the doors and opened it. The smell of drama and underrated success assaulted my senses as I stepped into the theater's lobby.

I looked around. Rich paneled walls touted posters of plays whose presence previously graced the stage. The maroon carpet was plush and clean, the brass fixtures gleamed softly in the glow of the lamplight. I squealed softly and did a happy dance. I couldn't help it. Jake laughed and pulled two tickets out of his wallet.

"What are we seeing?" I asked again as he handed the tickets to the attendant.

"Cymbeline. Do you know the story?"

I nodded. Cymbeline was the story of Imogen, daughter of King Cymbeline, who married Posthumus, secretly. The King banishes Posthumus from the kingdom. Iachimo, a soldier in the roman army, made a bet with Posthumus that he could tempt Imogen to commit adultery. Iachimo lies to Posthumus, saying he slept with Imogen. Posthumus goes bananas and orders Pisanio to kill Imogen. Then the wrongly accused Imogen, with Pisanio's help, fakes her death and pretends to be a boy.

It's a whole lot of betrayal and jealousy and deceit. Classic Shakespeare. I was amazed that Jake would think of something like this.

We found our seats and sat down. The theater was mostly full of older people; we were the only teenagers. The house lights dimmed and the curtain squeaked open in only the way a theater curtain can open.

The first act began and I became lost in the story line. By intermission I was enthralled. Jake, on the other hand, looked bored to tears.

We stood in the lobby sipping soda during intermission. "So, do you like it? The play?" I twirled the cup in my hand and glanced at Jake from under my lashes.

He coughed once. "Um, yeah. It's uh, its…interesting."

"Liar." I smacked his arm, smiling. "It's okay to admit you don't like it. We can leave if you want," I offered.

"No! We'll stay until it's over. I don't mind. Are you, do you like the play?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Thank you for bringing me here. This place, this date, it's all amazing."

The lights in the lobby dimmed. I tossed my cup and grabbed Jake's arm. "Why do they keep doing that?" he demanded.

I chuckled softly. "It's to let you know that the play is starting, or in this case, that intermission is over."

Back in the darkened theater, I sat on the edge of my seat for the last half of the play. Jake fell asleep during the last act, but he sprang to his feet applauding with the rest of the audience as the actors came out for their final curtain call. I decided that he ought to get a free pass this time. Shakespeare wasn't for everyone, and he got major brownie points for an awesome date.

Walking back to the jeep, I leaned tiredly against Jake's side. "Hey Bella?" he said.

"Mhmm?"

"What do you think," he said, grasping my arm as we crossed the street. "About being my girlfriend?"

I smiled, my breath like clouds of white mist on the air. "You want me to be your girlfriend?"

Jake nodded. "Okay," I agreed.

* * *

That night the kiss on the front porch was a hell of a lot smoother than the first one. I unlocked the door and let myself in. "Good night," I called softly as I shut the door.

Jake echoed the sentiment before darting across the lawn to his own house. I slowly climbed the stairs, avoiding the creaky fifteenth step and the loose floorboard outside Leah's room. I climbed the second flight of stairs. When I got to the landing I paused, hand hovering just above the doorknob. The last time I'd gone out with Jake, Leah destroyed my room and just about everything in it. God only knows what she did to it this time. I turned the knob and allowed the door to swing open slowly. My desk chair sat in the middle of the room, a dark figure occupied the chair.

I screamed; the figure jumped. "Zee," it hissed. "Zee, be quiet, it's me, its Seth."

I pressed my hand to my mouth, gasping. "Jesus Christ don't _ever_ do that again. You scared the living shit out of me," I hissed at him once I'd regained my breath. "What are you doing in here?"

"Leah watch," Seth said proudly.

"Was she in here?" I sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled the black heels off. My feet were sore and would hurt like hell tomorrow.

Seth flopped back down and tossed his flashlight from hand to hand. "I don't think she was. Rachel was over earlier, she told Leah that you and Jake were going to the theater. I thought she'd be mad and come wreck your room again. I was going to catch her in the act." He smiled proudly at the ingeniousness of his plan.

"Well, thanks. I guess I owe you one. Alright, go down stairs and go to bed. And be quiet. If your mom and Charlie hear you sneaking into your room we're both gonna be in trouble." I tossed the shoes into the closet. "Oh and Seth?"

He stopped, his hand lingering on the doorknob. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem Zee. I'll see you later. Hope you and Jake had fun at the theater." He closed the door and I heard him quietly making his way down the rickety attic stairs. Pulling my dress off I pulled on an oversized Jaguars t-shirt and climbed into bed.

I'd have to take Seth somewhere special or do something nice for him. He did so many things for me, and everyone else for that matter, and we all just shuffled him along in the daily to-do of our everyday lives.

I closed my eyes and thought about Rosalie. I hadn't talked to her in forever, well since the text messaging in the library the day before Embry apologized. That seemed so long ago. I guess it was.

So much, yet so little, time had passed. I didn't notice it too much anymore. Majority of the time I was glad to be here. To have a here to be. I made a mental not to call Rosalie tomorrow and see what she was up to. I missed her. Maybe I could even try to con Charlie into letting me go down to Jacksonville for a few days over Christmas break.

As I drifted off to sleep Jake's words echoed in my head. "How do you feel about being my girlfriend?"

I smiled. _Good, _I thought. That sounds good to me.

***

"Say (all I need) by One Republic


	15. Take a Bow

Disenchanted

Chapter fifteen – Take a Bow

Bella

A/N: The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers

Backstage I could hear the hum of voices coming from the front of the house. Mr. Ross stood in the center of the stage making last minute changes. Stage hands rushed across the stage, moving sets and props.

"Bella," Marsha Wilcox, the stage manager, called.

I tore my eyes from the activity on the stage and looked at her. "Hmm?"

"There's someone to see you." she pointed at the door leading to the hall.

Carefully, I picked my way through the maze of wires and extra props. Just beyond the door stood Embry. "Hey," I said, pushing the door open.

He smiled and handed me a bouquet of flowers. "Hey, I just wanted to come see you before the show started and wish you luck or break a leg. Whatever it is you show people say."

I took the flowers. "Its break a leg," I said with a smile. "Have you seen Jake yet?"

Embry nodded. "He and Becca were on their way in. He should be down to see you in a minute."

At the end of the hallway, Jake and Becca were walking towards us.

"Speak of the devil."

"Hey Jake. Hi Becca."

Becca smiled. "Good luck, Bella," she said.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get a seat. Good luck again." Embry turned and headed toward the front of the theater.

Jake leaned down and kissed me, his lips warm against mine. "You nervous?" he asked wrapping an arm around my waist.

I shrugged. "A little, but not really. Once I get out there I'll be okay."

"Don't worry about it. You got this, okay. Just breathe and do it like we practiced."

Jake helped me learn the lines, even reading the parts of Lady Macbeth, Ophelia and Kate just to help me.

I nodded. Marsha stuck her head out the stage door, "three minutes people," she shouted.

"Okay, I'll see you after the show, right?"

Jake nodded. "Of course. Break a leg."

I kissed him once more and hurried into the theater. Kate, Ophelia and Lady Macbeth all went before me. I stood in the wings, waiting. Ilene finished. The audience applauded, the curtain closed and she hurried off the stage. "Good luck Bella," she called as she hurried off to the dressing room.

"Bella, get your butt on the stage," Marsha ordered.

I took a deep breath and hurried across the wooden stage, my footsteps echoing around. I closed my eyes. _This is for you Mom and Dad. I love you and I miss you._

The curtain opened and the crowd applauded.

"Romeo, Romeo, where the hell art thou? Have you stopped along the way to play at your stupid battle games?"

The audience laughed a low sound that rippled across the crowd. I bit my cheeks to keep from smiling.

"Or have you changed your mind, and decided not to come thinking me too 'easy' and thus insincere: What perversion of thought is this? Because I say what it is I want, direct and forthright, you judge my desire false?"

I crossed to stage left and paused at the white x taped to the floor. "While the one who dallies, says no to mean yes, you deem true and take her seriously?"

I paused for a beat and headed upstage to the next mark on the floor. "Or perhaps you think to be 'easy' is to be unchaste: if so, you misjudge yourself! Because I want you does in no way mean I am a woman who wants every man. Do you think of yourself so poorly?"

"Can you not accept that it is you who– that one look of yours makes me –oh! One touch sends a fire through every nerve that it is you, standing there in your tights so tight and your shirt carelessly open, your chest–" I stopped, hands clutching my chest, and looked out over the audience – what little I could see, and smiled.

"Oh Romeo, Romeo, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

The women laughed; a delicate and feminine sound that said they knew all too well the unhappiness of dissatisfaction.

"'Tis true you asked the same last night when you came and I bid you go – for you had come so ill-prepared! I bid you go to the Friar–Not for a marriage, 'tis but a farce: We say there will be no sex until there is marriage meaning until there is love; but if we marry at first sight, then 'tis surely not a token of love but a license for sex."

I smiled at the closing remark. God bless Mr. Ross and his racy ideals. This was definitely not your typical melodramatic high school play. The crowd applauded politely and the curtain came down. I waited a second longer, then rushed off the stage. The waiting girls congratulated me as I hurried toward the dressing room. Exhilarated, I changed and prepared for act two.

* * *

The eight of us rushed on stage for the final curtain call. To my left, Irene squealed, squeezing my hand and she jumped up and down. The applause could still be heard on the other side of the curtain.

"Alright ladies, once more," Marsha called.

The eight of us took a collective breath and smiled as the curtain rose. "One more time, ladies and gentlemen; the cast of No Such Stuff."

Mr. Ross announced the first two girl's names before getting to mine. "Bella Dwyer as the ever enchanting Juliet."

I took two steps forward and bowed. In the audience Jake whistled and called my name. I stepped back into line with the other girls as Hope McNamara stepped forward. As Mr. Ross announced the rest of the names I scanned the audience to see if Charlie came. I spotted Sue and Seth in the center of the fourth row. To my amazement both Charlie and Leah were in attendance as well.

Out front, Charlie, Sue, Leah and Seth were all waiting. "Honey you were fabulous!" Sue exclaimed.

"Thanks," I said hugging her, "I'm glad you guys came."

"Of course we came," Charlie chuckled.

I stared at him waiting for him to make some kind of remark. _Of course we came, my ass. Sue probably made you come_, I thought.

"Okay, well do you have plans with Jake?" Sue asked.

Leah's eyes flashed at the mention of Jake's name. I smirked at her, then shook my head no.

"Well alright then. We're going out to celebrate," Charlie said.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. His false enthusiasm was disgusting. Eleven years of him not giving a shit about me; then one school play and he's suddenly super dad who's beyond interested in celebrating my accomplishments. Yeah, okay. Whatever. "I'll go get my things."

* * *

Charlie was still high on his "I'm super dad" pills. Before getting into my car, which he conveniently parked next to, he asked where I wanted to eat. I chose the first place I could think of and her were all were, the five of us seated around a table at Olive Garden.

In the seat next to me, Seth was going on about how awesome I was and how he wished he could be in the play too. Leah sat across from me scowling. I smirked at her, picking at my dinner. I wasn't really hungry; not to mention Charlie's constant praise was really starting to make me nauseous.

"Bella, honey, you were fabulous," he said again for the hundredth time.

"Thanks," I mumbled. If he said one more word about how talented, or fabulous, or awesome I was, I was going to freak out.

"Really," he started again after swallowing a mouthful of chicken parmesan. "I didn't know you were so talented."

"Of course you didn't," I muttered.

"What was that?" Charlie challenged.

"I said, of course you didn't know how talented I am or was. You were never freaking there."

Charlie stared, shock written all over his face. "Bella, that's not true-," he said.

I didn't let that stop me. Rolling my eyes I released eleven years of fury on him. "I'm your daughter, you're flesh and freaking blood, so is he-," I jerked a finger in Seth's direction. "And you treat us like shit. Little Miss Princess Face over there – who isn't even yours, in case you've forgotten – is treated better than us. Just admit that you hate me and get it out of the way and stop pretending that you in awe of the things I can do. You'd be amazed at all the things you don't know about me. God Charlie, you missed eleven years, _eleven _freaking _years _of my life! You missed countless school plays and dance recitals, Christmases, birthdays. You don't know me, didn't have a hand in making me who I am today so don't sit there acting all proud."

The four of them, Charlie, Sue, Leah and Seth, sat there staring at me mouths agape. I slid the chair back and stood up. "I'm out of here." Grabbing my coat off the back of the chair I stormed out of restaurant. I could feel the stares of the other diners as I made my hasty retreat.

"Bella!" Charlie called. "Bella, come back here and finish-"

Charlie's words were cut off as the door to the restaurant closed behind me. I got in my car and headed home before realizing there would be severe consequences for that little outburst. Grabbing my cell phone from the console, I dialed Embry.

He answered on the third ring. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"I, uh, kinda need a place to hang out. Are you home?"

"Yeah, I'm home. Bella, what happened?"

"I kinda told Charlie off at dinner. He kept going on and on about how fabulous I was in the play-"

"Well you were," Embry interjected.

"Not the point, Em. If he'd been half the father he should have been he would've known how awesome I was. I basically told him that he hates his biological children but worships the ground Leah freaking walks on. I don't know how pissed he's going to be when they get home."

"Come over. You can hide out here for a little while, then go home when you're ready."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"See you soon."

"See ya."

Embry was waiting on the porch when I pulled up. He hugged me as I climbed the steps. A little calmer now, I knew going off on Charlie in the middle of Olive Garden was a bit rash. I didn't ask him to stay away, or give me up. I remember the summer after my mom and Phil got married. I waited for Charlie to come pick me up; but he never came. I was almost seven and could not, for the life of me, figure out why my dad didn't want to see me. I asked my mom if he was mad at me. Renee just said that he wouldn't be able to see me anymore.

I didn't understand, hell, I'm seventeen and I still don't understand. No one, not Phil, nor Renee ever offered an explanation. Their silence on the matter ultimately lead me to believe that Charlie just didn't want me anymore; now that my mom had Phil, Charlie didn't have to be the dad anymore. And he wondered why I didn't like him. I shook my head. Butthead.

Embry laughed. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, his hazel eyes shining with amusement.

"The past. Just trying to figure it all out."

I sat down next to Embry and laid my head on his shoulder. "None of it makes sense, you know?"

"What doesn't make sense?"

"The whole Charlie-Renee-Phil love triangle thing that's going on. I don't understand why Charlie gave me up. He and my mom were married, she left him and married Phil then Charlie stopped seeing me. I don't understand why."

Embry rubbed my back. "Didn't you ever ask your mom?"

"Yeah, but she always gave me these generic answers, you know. The 'oh, he's busy,' or 'he has to work this summer.' Always some vague answer. Eventually I just stopped asking her and Charlie wasn't exactly around to get his side of the story."

"You should talk to him. Eventually you're gonna have to; it might just be best to get it out of the way and find out the truth, you know."

I sighed. He was right; he always was. At nine, I crossed the street and walked the half a block to my house. The lights in the living room cast pools of light over the lawn. I opened the storm door, my hand resting on the door knob of the interior door. Truthfully, I was terrified. Murmuring voices could be heard on the other side of the door. I took a deep breath and turned the knob.

Charlie and Sue were standing in the center of the living room, arguing. I looked up at the both of them. "I'm sorry," I said meekly and darted up the stairs.

* * *

Saturday morning there was a sharp knock at my door. It startled me, my heart leapt into my throat as I opened the door and saw Charlie standing on the other side. "Get your coat. You and I are going for a ride."

Hands trembling I pulled my jacket on and followed Charlie down the stairs. "Sue, we'll be back in a bit," he called as he opened the front door.

I followed behind him and got into the passenger seat of the Corolla. Silently, Charlie drove toward the center of town. He passed the high school, and the grocery store. I stared out the window wondering where he was taking me. My palms were sweaty and I could hardly breathe. I saw the park up ahead, instead of passing by; Charlie pulled into the parking lot and got out.

"Come on," he said beckoning to me, "I want to show you something."

Wiping my hands on my pants I opened the door. Charlie started walking toward the lake. I slammed the door and quickly followed. "This is where I asked your mother to marry me. We were barely older than you when we got married. Shortly after that, you were born. I was twenty years old. Your mom was only nineteen."

I stopped, staring at Charlie's back. "Does this story have a point?"

Charlie glanced at me from over his shoulder. "The summer before you turned six you came up here to see me. You and your mom were already gone by then; she left when you were three. During your visit you got really sick; an upper respiratory infection. You spiked this crazy high fever. I thought it was just a cold, the flu. I tried to call your mom, but she and Phil were out of town and I couldn't get a hold of her."

He sighed wearily and ran his hands through his thinning hair. I sank down onto the bench overlooking the lake. "What happened?" I asked softly.

"I gave you some Tylenol. The lady who lived next door said that would break your fever. It didn't. It seemed like it made it worse. So I thought maybe if I gave you a nice cool bath that would help."

I gasped. Even as a seventeen year old I knew that was the wrong thing to do.

Charlie winced. "I know. It was the wrong thing to do, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. You went into shock; your fever was that high. I had to rush you to the hospital. It was just horrible. After that I didn't think I could trust myself with you. I almost killed you-" he sniffed and wiped the tears from his face.

I didn't know what to say. I never in a million years thought that was why he stopped coming to see me. "Why didn't anyone ever tell me this? I always thought you just stopped caring."

Charlie sat down next to me. "No, Bella. I never stopped caring, I was just too afraid that I was going to hurt you. I could hardly live with myself after seeing you, so small, lying in that hospital bed with all those machines and wires hooked to you. And your mom was furious. I thought it was best if I just stayed away. I realize now that wasn't the smartest decision; but at the time it seemed like the right one."

I nodded. It made sense, but then there was Leah. "What about Leah? You were so afraid of me, but not her?"

Charlie nodded. "I can see why you'd think that. Sue, well, she helped me in a lot of ways. She showed me that just because I made one mistake, I had learned from it. She helped me get over that. And Leah was a sort of second chance for me. Your mom had told me about Phil wanting to adopt you and I figured that's what was best for you. But then Seth was born and the fear came back. I've held him at arm's distance his whole life because I was always afraid of hurting him and losing Sue.

"I know this, in no way whatsoever, makes up for the last eleven years, but I hope it sheds some light on the situation and you're able to at least forgive my indiscretions."

I nodded, picking at a miniscule hole in my jeans. I wasn't going to pretend to get it. I wasn't a parent and couldn't rationalize the decisions, the sacrifices a parent made so their child could be safe.

I looked up at Charlie. "I think I can do that. I'm sorry about last night. It was immature of me to go off like that in the middle of a restaurant."

Charlie sat down next to me and put his arm around me. "It's okay kiddo. You've been through hell these last few months. I think you entitled to freak out, at least on me.

We talked for a little bit longer. Charlie told me some things about Renee that I didn't know and talked about little quirks of mine as a child. When we left the park that afternoon we were better. Our relationship wasn't completely healed, but it was better.

***

take a bow by rihanna


	16. World of Chances

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

**Okay, real quick...sorry it's been so long, my aunt had surgery and I headed back home earlier this week...so I've been getting back in the swing of things...and eep..major embarassment with the last few chapters...my friend and I had a misunderstanding and she posted the unedited chapters by accident...as for the names being different..when I write my stories I will give the characters different names so they have different personalities than the characters in the book...then I just go back and change them after the chapter is finished...so if you caught that, that's why. Thank you to ShelbySue my very supportive and totally awesome beta..and to everyone who was willing to wait for me to deal with my personal issues instead of handing this off...you guys rocks. So here ya go! Hope you like it :) **

**Ooh and if you haven't (and I hope you do) hop on over and vote for Pictures of You for a Sparkle Award..all the info is on my profile page..it would mean tons if you voted  
**

**Bella**

The Monday before Thanksgiving it started snowing. Muted gray light filtered in through the curtains. When I opened my eyes I thought it was still early, so I rolled over, snuggling deeper into the covers. I'd just dozed off again when Lady Gaga came screaming out of the alarm clock.

"_I'm your biggest fan; I'll follow you until you love me. Papa, paparazzi. Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be your papa, paparazzi. Promise I'll be kind; but I won't stop until that boy is mine. Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me. Papa, paparazzi."_

I shut my eyes tighter, hoping that if I pretended hard enough she would shut up. No dice. I rolled back over and hit the snooze button.

"Bella," Sue called up the stairs.

I climbed out of bed stumbling to the window. I gasped in horror as I pulled the curtain back, taking in the wintry scene beyond the glass. What. The. Hell?

Snow, inches and inches of fluffy, wet, cold snow was spread out all over the ground. I grimaced and dug around in the closet for something extra warm to wear today. I found a thick white sweater buried in the back of the closet. I grabbed it, and a pair of jeans, and dressed quickly.

Downstairs, Sue set a bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal in front of me. "First snowfall!" she enthused. "How exciting."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. I loved Sue to death, but snow, not so much. After breakfast, Seth and I made our way to the car. I had no idea how to drive in the snow. I stood in the driveway inspecting the snowy road, trying to decide whether or not we should just wait for the bus.

Jake and Becca's front door slammed shut. Becca's giggly voice drifted over the yard. Jake walked around the back of his Jeep and waved. "Hey, you guys need a lift?"

I smiled gratefully and dashed across the snow. "Thanks. You're a lifesaver. I don't know how to drive in this crap."

He cinched an arm around my waist, pressing his warm lips to mine. I felt my knees go weak as his tongue prodded mine. Seth and Becca knocked on the window. That was really starting to get annoying.

"Pains in the asses," Jake muttered. He kissed me quickly and patted my bottom. "Come on, let's go before TweedleDee and TweedleDum have a fit."

Gripping the car, I carefully made my way to the passenger seat and climbed in. Seth and Becca made kissing sounds in the back seat. I glared at them over my shoulder and they stopped.

We managed to make it to school in piece despite the icy roads. In Printed Arts, Mr. Belcher announced at the end of the term the class would hold an art show. Each student was expected to select his or her best five pieces to put on display.

Next to me, Jake groaned. "I hate this class," he muttered. I smiled sympathetically.

"Want me to help you pick yours out?"

He rolled his eyes. "If you want. They all suck, so it's not like it matters."

I patted his arm. "It'll be okay. Belcher's a stoner. You could turn in pictures of stick figures doing the Humpty Dance and he'd still give you an A."

Jake snorted and dropped his pen. "The humpty dance?" he said between gasps of breath.

I shrugged. "It was the first thing that popped into my head."

He reached into his notebook and pulled out a sheet of paper. "What are you doing?" I asked peering over at his paper.

He slid his arm across the paper, shielding it from me. "Just wait."

Across the table, Samantha giggled. She still didn't speak to either of us, but at least she'd lost the deer in the headlights expression she used to wear.

A few minutes later, Jake proudly held up the sheet of notebook paper. He'd drawn eight boxes; each one featured a stick figure in the motions of doing some kind of dance.

"You're so stupid," I laughed.

"I'm funny," Jake replied.

I rolled my eyes. "If you say so."

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. The snow continued to fall, settling on the ground in huge, fluffy piles. I met Jake at the Jeep after school.

"You wanna come over later, maybe watch a movie?" he asked as he pulled into his driveway.

I got out of the car, walking around to the driver's side. "Well that depends," I said snaking my arms around his waist.

"On what?"

"The movie you want to watch and whether or not your sister," I nodded in the direction Seth and Becca had run off in, "will come bursting in again."

Jake laughed. "Becca has ballet class tonight, Rachel would rather chew her own arm off than come in my room and the movie is called Knowing."

I made a face.

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?"

I wrinkled my nose, shaking my head no.

"The new Fast and the Furious?"

"That's a good boyfriend," I said smiling.

"Puppy want a biscuit," he snorted.

"Oh shut up," I said smacking his arm playfully. "That's not what I meant."

"I know. I just felt like messing with you." He pulled me against him, desire sparked, arching across nerves. This boy was beautiful and I had not spent near enough time kissing him.

"So, I'll come over around seven. Is that a good time?"

Jake nodded. "I'll be waiting and I promise I'll have like six new stick people humpty dance drawings for you."

"Can't wait," I smiled. Turning, I picked my way across the snowy yard and entered the house. It smelled like apples, cinnamon and hot chocolate.

Seth and Sue were laughing in the kitchen. I hurried to join them. When I sat down at the table, she set a steaming mug of cocoa in front of me. Seth's hair was wet and his cheeks were rosy.

"Thanks," I said smiling up at her.

She sat down across the table from Seth then turned to look at me. "So, Seth and I were just discussing what kind of pie to have with Thanksgiving dinner. Do you have a preference?"

"I like cherry," I told her wrapping my hands around the steaming mug.

Seth grinned. "Me too, that's my favorite. Mom likes sweet potato and Dad like pumpkin." Seth shoved his finger down his throat and made a gagging noise.

Sue smacked his arm, "Knock that off," she scolded. "There is nothing wrong with sweet potato or pumpkin pie."

"I'm with Seth, pumpkin and sweet potato pie that is pretty gross." I looked to Sue.

She chuckled. "You two are weird. How was school?"

"It was okay. We're having this sort of art show at school at the end of the term."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Mr. Belcher wants us to choose five of our best pieces. I think I have an idea of what five I'm going to use, but I'm not sure."

"That's fantastic honey. Make sure you let us know when it is so we can attend." Sue smiled and turned back to her pie conversation with Seth.

She really was an amazing person. And Charlie wasn't too bad either. Well, now that the air had been cleared his distance and behavior made more sense and it was easier to forgive him for it. I didn't totally forgive him, not all the way, but I didn't hate him as much I thought I did.

I sat back in my chair, listening to the conversation about the frogs that Seth's science teacher kept in his classroom and drinking my cocoa. I let the warmth wash over me and relaxed, content for the first time in a really long time.

* * *

After dinner I went up to my room and pulled all my pieces from Printed Arts out, laying them on the bed. We had done these prints a few weeks ago. It started out as one long sheet then we cut into smaller sheets to make three separate pictures.

Mine was personal. The left side was shades of black and dark grey that gradually grew lighter in the center, then brilliantly burst onto the right side –an explosion of color, all bright blues, pinks and yellows. It was, in a way, symbolic. The left side was how I was when I arrived in Washington, after a few months I'd gone blank; accepted the fact that this was my home now, then nothingness grew to acceptance which in turn grew to happiness.

This was the most meaningful thing I'd ever done and it said a lot about my journey. My idea was to take four other pieces that showed the journey as well and have them all tie into this piece.

I stood in the middle of my room staring down at the bed, torn. They were all fabulous, but how could I pick just four. There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called chewing on my lip.

The squeaked open, Sue poked her head in. "You busy?"

I glanced at her. "No. Just trying to choose my pieces, you know, for my assignment." I bit down on my lip, chewing thoughtfully.

Sue stepped into the room, stopping next to me. "Which ones do you like the best?"

I shrugged. "I like them all. Each one is my favorite for one reason or another." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "I can't decide."

"Is there a specific message you're trying to convey? You know something you want the viewer to take away when they walk away from your art?"

"Sort of," I said with a shrug. I was tempted to close my eyes and go all eenie, meenie, miney, moe. You know the whole 'catch a tiger by the toe' route.

"Talk me through it, maybe I can help."

"Okay," I replied. Taking a deep breath I pointed to the tri-cut piece. "That's my first choice. It's my absolute favorite. I want the other four pieces to reflect my journey. Does that make sense?"

Sue nodded. "I think so. You started out unhappy, depressed even. Eventually, over the last few months, you've come to accept your life the way it is now, and you've even found some happiness."

I shouldn't have been surprised. Of course Sue got it. She always got it. Sue picked up one of the first pictures I'd done after coming here. "This should be one of them, then three, four and five." She pointed to the different pictures spread out on the bed.

"I'm not sure about that one," I said pointing to her fourth pick. "How about this one instead?"

Collecting the rest of the pictures, I set the five we'd chosen on the bed. Stepping back, Sue and I admired the collection.

"I think that works," she said.

I murmured my agreement. Stacking the pieces, I gently slid them back onto the top shelf of my closet. When I shut the closet door, Sue was heading towards the door.

"Oh, Sue?"

She stopped, her hand resting on the doorknob, and turned to look at me.

"Is it okay if I go next door to watch a movie with Jake?"

She smiled. "Sure." She turned to leave again.

I opened my mouth to thank her for her help and instead blurted out, "Thank you, for everything. You know, as much as I miss my mom, well having you makes it a bit easier, you know; the not having her around. You're all the best parts of her, and then some."

Sue rushed back into the room. She threw her arms around me, pulling me close to her. "Oh you sweet girl," she cried, hugging me close to her. "That means so much, to hear you say that. Your parents would be proud of the person you are becoming."

I blinked back the tears. Sue released me, discreetly wiping her eyes. "Now go and spend time with your boyfriend."

After she left, I grabbed my coat. Sliding my shoes on, I raced down the stairs and out the front door. I dashed across the front lawn, breathlessly ringing Jake's doorbell. He was smiling when he opened the door.

"Hi," I said with a wave.

"Hey. Get in here before you freeze your ass off." He grabbed the front of my coat and pulled me inside. The house was quiet. I looked around for either of his sisters, neither were anywhere around.

"We are here, alone, for the next two hours," he declared.

"Um," I said nervously, "Okay." I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. I followed him into the family room. Light from the flickering fire danced on the wood paneled walls. The colors in the room were rich and masculine, devoid of any feminine touch.

The plasma screen TV sat in the corner, its screen dark save for the neon green DVD logo bouncing around the screen.

"So, Fast and the Furious right? You're not gonna punk me and pull out that lamespice Brad Pitt flick are you?"

"God no," Jake sniggered. "Do you want me to make some popcorn?"

"Yeah, I love popcorn."

He motioned for me to follow him. I trailed behind him, glancing at the photos on the wall. There weren't any of Jake's parents, just him and his sisters. I wondered what happened to his mom.

"Bella?" he called from the kitchen.

"Coming," I replied hurrying toward the kitchen.

Jake was standing in front of the stove, a large pot on the burner before him. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Making popcorn," he grinned.

"Like that?"

"Mhmm. This is how my mom used to do it." He motioned for me to come look. I stood beside him, peering into the pot.

"You cover the bottom of the pot with oil, add your popcorn kernels and wait."

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I patiently waited for something to happen. I took a deep breath and sighed. He smelled divine, like the woods after a thunderstorm. It was a scent I could drink in all day long and never grow tired of.

The kernels in the pan started to shimmer. Suddenly one kernel burst open, exploding through the pot, hitting the lid with a greasy _plink!_

It was like a domino effect, one popped then suddenly all the others followed suit. Steam and oil spewed across the stove. One drop of hot oil landed on my arm, burning me. The popping sound intensified to a loud cacophony of noise.

"Quick, hand me that bowl!"

I spun around searching for the bowl. Spying it on the counter by the sink I reached for it. Jake grabbed it from my hand, pouring the popcorn into it.

"Tada!" he grinned, "Popcorn."

I smiled and snagged a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "Very cool. I've never seen it made like that."

Jake picked up the bowl. "Yeah, my mom did it like this. There was this one time she dumped a whole bag of popcorn kernels in to the pot. We had popcorn everywhere. It pissed my dad off, but whatever. He walks around in a perpetual state of pissed-off-ed-ness."

"Where's your mom now?" I asked softly.

Jake sighed and wrenched open the refrigerator door. "Utah," he said reaching into the fridge.

"Oh." I took the sodas he held out to me.

"She's at a mental health facility in Provo, Utah. She's not right in the head, you know?"

I nodded. How sad must it be to have a mentally unstable parent?

"If you don't mind I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Of course," I said softly. "Let's go watch the movie."

He set the popcorn on the coffee table, throwing himself down on the couch. He reached up, grabbing my hand and pulled me down next to him. I leaned forward, setting the sodas on the table beside the popcorn, then snuggled next to him, my head on his chest.

The movie started. I watched intently as a semi hauling gas rolled down a desert highway. "Is this, like, a prequel to the first one?" I asked looking up at Jake.

"I don't think so," he replied.

"Well that guy,-" I pointed to the Asian guy, "Was in Tokyo Drift, he did just call him Hahn right?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah I think so."

"Hahn died in Tokyo Drift."

Jake looked down at me. "You are so cute. Are you gonna do this the whole movie?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I'm just making a point. I hate it when movies do that."

"Do what?"

"Leave giant holes in the story. If it was a good movie, you know well written, I wouldn't be sitting here asking you what the hell was going on."

Jake snickered, reaching for a handful of popcorn. On the TV screen, Vin Diesel plopped his sexy butt down on a rock, reminiscing with his girlfriend. I felt bad for her. I saw what was coming – even if she didn't.

He chewed his popcorn, quietly watching the movie. I settled back into the couch, my head resting on Jake's shoulder. He slid his arm around my shoulder, his fingers delved into my hair wrapping strands around his fingers.

I sighed as he ran his fingers down my neck, skimming my collar bone. He leaned over, nuzzling my neck, his teeth nipping. Goosebumps lit across my skin.

He kissed along my jaw. I turned my face, the movie forgotten, and met his lips. He angled his body towards me, his tongue skimmed over mine.

He pulled me onto his lap. I leaned forward, my lips searching for his, my hair fell forward like a curtain. His hands were on my hips, pulling me towards him. I moaned into his mouth. I didn't make out with guys back home. Most of the guys I went to school with were gangbanging stoners or fame whores. They only paid attention to me because of who my father was. But he was gone now, and Jake obviously didn't care about that.

His hands slid up the back of my shirt, skimming my skin. Goosebumps broke across my flesh, like a wake behind a boat.

My heart raced as he pulled my sweater over my head. "What about your dad?" I asked as he tossed my shirt down the couch. He looked up at the clock on the mantle.

"We have an hour, at least. It'll be fine don't worry."

I looked down at him dubiously. "I'm serious, but if you really don't believe me, we can go upstairs."

"Okay, come on." I climbed off his lap pulling him up with me. I snagged my sweater before running up the stairs. Jake followed, chasing me. I darted into his bedroom. Jake grinned as he shut the door behind him. Flicking on the radio, he crossed the room.

He grabbed my waist, pulling me towards him – towards the bed. I willingly followed. He sat down, pulling me on top of him. He expertly moved, so I was lying on the bed with him on top of me. He nudged my legs apart, settling himself between them.

My head swam, dizzy with lust and Jake's cologne. It was hard to think, too hard to ask him what we were doing.

Jake pulled his lips away from mine and tore his shirt off. My heart skipped a beat, then another. All those chiseled sculptures, the old marble ones didn't hold a candle to Jake's physique. Wash board abs, dark curls lead down into his jeans. I grinned stupidly.

His lips hovered above mine. He smiled, baring his white teeth. I raised my head, lips connecting. Jake's rough hands, slid inside my bra, kneading and pulling. I gasped when he reached behind me, expertly unclipping my bra.

My mind suddenly cleared, the fog chased away by common sense. What were we doing? My heart raced, pounding away in my chest. I wasn't having sex with him if that's what he thought. Not that I didn't want to, I was just smarter than that. I was seventeen, too damn young to be having sex. I don't care what anyone else said or did; this was my own personal belief.

"Jake – I-"

"Shh," he murmured pressing his finger to my lips.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he took it with such force. He pulled me closer to him until I was hovering just above the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, his fevered skin, hot beneath my fingers.

He tugged at the button on my pants. I pushed him away. "I can't," I mumbled.

The tugging immediately stopped. "Okay."

And just like that, he pushed himself back into a sitting position. I sat up, pressing my unclipped bra to my chest, stunned. "You're not mad are you?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Of course not. Why would I be mad?"

I blushed. "I just, I thought, I mean, I just thought that you'd be mad because I-"

"Bella," he said, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "I wouldn't make you do anything you're not comfortable with."

He reached for his shirt. After he pulled it back on he retrieved mine. I snatched it out of his hands, embarrassed. "Sorry," I mumbled as I pulled it on.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He smiled, then kissed me.

I left Jake's a little after ten. We'd gone back downstairs to watch the rest of the movie before his father got home. I was still a little embarrassed about earlier. I shook my head as I walked across the front yard, trying to convince myself I had nothing to be embarrassed about. If he didn't like the fact that I didn't want to have sex with him, well then, oh well. I guess.

When I walked in Charlie and Sue were watching 48 Hours. "Hi," I called as I made my way to the kitchen for something to drink.

"How was the movie?" Sue asked when I sat down. The arm chair sank under my weight. Tucking my knees under me, I balanced the glass on my leg and turned to face her.

"It was good," I replied, my finger tracing the lip of the glass.

"What did you two watch?" Charlie asked as he absentmindedly scrolled through the TV menu.

"Fast and the Furious – the new one."

Charlie chuckled. "Nice of Jake to let you choose."

"He did. I chose that." I laughed. "Trust me, out of his other choices, it was the lesser evil." I picked up my glass, taking a sip.

"Well that's nice," Sue said. "Did you like it?"

I nodded, swallowed the rest of my juice. "Yes. It was pretty good. A little confusing at times, but good. Okay, I'm going to bed. See you guys in the morning."

"Good night, sweetheart," Sue said.

"Night, Bella," Charlie replied, still scrolling through the TV menu.

I put my glass in the dishwasher, then headed up to my room. When I got to my door, I stopped. Taking a deep breath, I gently rested my hand on the door knob, wondering what kind of damage Leah inflicted this time. I exhaled and pushed the door open. Flicking on the light I looked around, trying to find the damage. Everything was as should be. I breathed a sigh of relief and got ready for bed.

* * *

The Wednesday before thanksgiving it snowed again. When it was time to leave Seth met me at the door. "Zee," he whispered. He looked scared as I opened the front door.

"What's wrong?" I asked grabbing his shoulders.

"It's your car. Leah –she- did something to it. I think she might have," he flinched, "keyed it."

"What? How do you know?"

"I saw her do it. She waited till mom and dad left then she walked down the driver's side, laughing."

"Oh my god. Are you for real?"

He nodded. My flood boiled, I was furious. That's it, I thought as I wrenched the front door open. I was literally going to kick her face in. for real this time.

"Let's go," I muttered.

Seth stepped out of the house, shutting the front door behind me. He scurried across the front yard, slipping once and falling face first into the snow.

I walked around the care and peered down at the door. Sure enough there was a deep gouge in the paint. I don't remember getting into the car or the drive to school. I stalked through the halls in a blind fury. Why didn't she insist on doing this? It was getting really old, really quick. I went through the day in a haze; I couldn't recall anything I did or learned. After school I drove Seth and I home where I waited, stewing my anger.

I was quiet at dinner. Sue asked if I felt okay. I lied, claiming I had a headache. After I finished eating, well more like pushing the food around my plate, I carried my dishes to the kitchen where I dumped my uneaten food into the trash. I'd just put my plate in the dishwasher when Leah came strolling in.

"I saw what happened to your care," she smirked. "That's too bad."

As if acting under its own volition my hand reared back. It swung forward, connecting with her face. The loud slap echoed off the kitchen cabinets. I dropped my hand, anger seething. A large handprint was blossoming across Leah's cheek. She stood there, stunned. "I warned you," I hissed. "I told you to leave my stuff alone, to leave _me_ alone. What the hell did I ever do to you?"

Leah's face contorted into a frightening mask of anger. "You were born, you came here. I don't need a reason to hate you," she sneered. "I just do. That's why I ripped up all your books and tore up your pictures." Her eyes were wild, crazed almost, like a cornered animal that suddenly had to fight its way out. "That's why I lied and said you stole my stuff. How's it feel to know that they didn't believe? Made you feel like shit, huh? I hope it did, I hope you felt sick every time you saw what I did to your stuff. And Jake, I loved how you thought you could steal him away from me. You know he's only dating you to make me jealous." She rolled her eyes. "Not like you could ever compare to me. Sloppy seconds; that's all you ever are, all your ever going to be."

I lost all control then. I lunged at her, grabbing handfuls of her. We fell to the floor. She screamed when I kicked her. I kicked her again, my foot connecting with her fleshy stomach. "I hate you," I screamed, kicking her.

"I hate you too," she screamed back scratching my arms.

Sue yelled for Charlie. In the dining room, chairs scrapped along the floor. Heavy footsteps rushed to the kitchen door.

"Yeah Zee!" Seth exclaimed, "Kick her butt!"

Sue told him to go to his room. Charlie rushed into the kitchen, grabbing us. "Knock it off you two," he shouted, then took an elbow right to the solar plexus. He fell back into the cabinet. I rolled to the left, dodging a fist to the face.

"KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!" Charlie roared.

I dropped the fist I'd been about to throw at Leah's face. She became still, panting on the floor beside me.

"This not a boxing ring! To the table NOW!"

Leah and I scampered to our feet. I pushed past her, darting into the dining room. She trailed behind me, sitting down across from me. Charlie and Sue came in. Charlie looked pissed, like he wanted to take his belt off and beat the shit out of both of us. Sue looked, well, she looked pretty pissed too.

"What the hell was that all about?" Charlie stared at the both us, looking from me to Leah, back to me.

"Ask her," I muttered, "she started it."

Charlie turned his gaze to Leah. "Is that true?"

Her eyes widened. "No Daddy," she said convincingly. "Bella started it, she slapped me." Leah pointed to the slap mark on her face.

"Yeah and she keyed my car, destroyed my books and tore up all my stuff."

"No I didn't," Leah protested.

"Yes, you did Leah," Sue said quietly.

We both looked at her, mouths hanging open. "Your brother saw you do it. He told me. And I had a pretty good feeling you tore up Bella's room. What is the matter with you? Didn't I raise you better than that?"

Leah started to cry. "Oh knock it off. Those damn tears aren't going to get you out of it this time. You've been messing with Bella since she moved here. As far as I know she never retaliated until tonight. This needs to stop and it needs to stop now."

They made me tell them everything that happened, from how she would steal my cell phone battery right after I moved here to how she destroyed my room while I was at the movies with Jake. I felt a little bad, I don't know why but I did, so I told them about the party and how I punched her. We both got in trouble for being at a party, but that was small potatoes compared to the other issues at hand.

Charlie had been making a speech about how we were sisters, even if it was the step variety, and that we needed to start acting like it. "I'm not going to tolerate this kind of bullshit anymore," he warned. "I'm completely serious. Leah, if you don't leave Bella's stuff alone I'm going to let her destroy all your favorite things. Bella, don't hit people, it's not the way to handle things. Do you both understand?"

We both nodded. "Good," Charlie said. "Now go do your homework or something."

Leah and I both left the dining room. I climbed the stairs, heading for my room. She followed behind me. At her door she stopped and called to me.

"Bella," she said looking at me.

I glanced at her. "What?"

"I don't hate you, you know. I hate your presence here. That's been _my _father for as long as I can remember. Well the only one who wanted me at lease. And here you come, his 'real' daughter. I was afraid that maybe he wouldn't want me anymore. My bio-dad didn't – doesn't, want me. My mom doesn't seem to like me too much either I was afraid you'd take all that way from me." Leah shrugged.

I stared at her, stunned by her sudden revelation. "Charlie didn't want to keep me. He gave up on me Leah. One mistake and he just quit being my dad. I never wanted to come here. Trust me, if I could have stayed in Jacksonville I would have. I didn't want anything from you Leah, I never wanted your family or your boyfriend. The only thing I ever wanted was my own family, my own life, not this quasi-existence. But I'm here, and this is my life now. We just need to get along, or agree to disagree. I don't need you to be my b.f.f. but stop screwing with me. Okay?"

Leah nodded. "Okay." She went into her room, shutting the door behind her.

I thought I heard her crying as I went to my room.

**Reviews are better than hmm...beating the shiz out of the evil wench who's been trying to ruin your life  
**

World of Chances - Demi Lovato


	17. Who We Are

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

**Okee dokee lovely readers I am sooooooo glad that you guys were cool with bella and jake not doing the horizontal tango...I really appreciate that. Oh and woot woot...round two of the moonlight awards started last week...and guess who beat out TEN (yes ten!) Edward & Bella fics to make it to round two? Pictures of You, so if you've been voting heres a huge cyber hug to you (( )) for voting. Thank you to Shelby Sue my always awesome beta. Okay...I'll shut up now...  
**

**Bella**

Thanksgiving was bittersweet; bitter because my parents were dead, sweet because I was celebrating with a new family. Charlie parked himself in front of the television, Seth to his left, both absorbed in the football game. Leah and I were in the kitchen helping Sue make stuffing.

I know it sounds all warm and fuzzy, Leah and I making stuffing. But it wasn't. One day didn't make everything okay between us. And I still didn't like her. But we were trying to tolerate each other.

We sat down at the table, the football game playing in the background. It was all so normal, like real life interpretation of a Norman Rockwell painting.

After dinner, we all gathered around the TV to watch the end of the football game. For a brief moment I missed Phil with every fiber of my being. I glanced up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath trying to blink away the tears.

At a commercial I got up. "I'll be right back," I mumbled and went towards the back yard. I stood on the back porch staring up at the dark sky. The stars looked like diamonds nestled into the folds of black velvet.

I exhaled, a plume of smoke lingered in the air, dissipating slowly. "Mom," I whispered.

My breath hung in the air, a frigid breeze blew across the yard. It swept the word up into the sky. "Happy Thanksgiving Mom and Dad. I miss you. I wish you were here." I wiped my eyes, tears crystalline on my skin.

Behind me, the back door opened. Heavy footsteps slapped against the deck. "Bella? Sweetheart, is everything okay?"

I glanced over my shoulder. Charlie stood behind me reaching for me. I turned, throwing myself into his arms. He rubbed my back. "Sweetheart what's wrong?"

"I miss mom," I sobbed into his chest.

Charlie continued rubbing my back. "I know you do, sweetie, I know."

I continued to sob. Sue came to the door. Charlie's body shook as he waved her away. He didn't say anything more. Charlie just stood there, letting my cry into his Bears sweatshirt.

When I cried myself dry, I shivered. "Feel better now?" Charlie asked.

Tremors shook my body as I nodded, my teeth chattering. "A little." I wrapped my arms around my middle.

"Bella, you know I'm always available, here to listen if you ever need to talk or want to hear about your mom. All you've got to do is ask."

"Okay. Thank you. I think I'm okay now. Let's go back inside."

Charlie wrapped his arm around me, guiding me back inside. Sue was waiting in the kitchen, a mug of hot chocolate in one hand, a box of tissues in the other.

"Here you go honey," she said as she handed me the tissues. I accepted the box and blew my nose. Pulling a clean tissue out, I wiped my eyes. I smiled sadly at her. "All better," I said.

She handed me the hot chocolate. "Not yet. But you're getting there."

* * *

The week before Christmas break started, Embry and I drove into the city to do some Christmas gift shopping. He parked in front of the food court of the mall and got out of the car.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," Embry muttered.

I looped my arm through his and carefully the two of us made our way into the mall. The snow melted a few days after Thanksgiving, then froze and melted and froze and melted. It was messy cycle that made the roads dangerous, especially for people like me, the kind who _didn't_ know how to drive in this mess.

"You'll be fine," I scowled as we walked across the parking lot.

The smells of the food court, Philly cheese steaks, burgers, tacos, Chinese food, greasy pepperoni pizza, assaulted us when I stepped into the mall. Jingle Bells played over the PA system.

"So tell me again what we're here for?" Embry whined.

"Oh my god crybaby, are you going to bitch all day?" I pinched his arm.

Embry rolled his eyes.

"We are here to buy Christmas presents," I said.

"For whom?" he stopped to admire a pair of sneakers in the Foot Locker window.

"For Sue and Charlie. Seth, my friend Rosalie in Jacksonville. Maybe even Leah if she behaves."

Embry groaned. "Alright, well let's get this party started. The sooner you finish, the sooner we can go home."

"Oh yay!" I dragged him off toward Radio Shack. We dodged a mom pushing a stroller with a screaming toddler strapped inside.

"Jesus Christ," Embry muttered.

"What?" I spun around looking for whatever he was talking about, expecting to see some hot chick or something.

"Kids, screaming snot nosed little brats. Can't stand them."

I stopped, grabbing his arm. "What is wrong with you?"

Embry stopped looking down at me. "Nothing," he muttered. "Let's just get your shit and go."

"Embry!"

"Bella!"

"Your being an ass. If I'd known you were going to be this way I would have come by myself." I dropped his arm and turned on my heel, stalking off in the opposite direction of the mall.

"Bella," Embry called. "Bella, come on."

I flipped him off, shooting him the finger over my shoulder and kept walking. There was a Bath and Body Works up ahead. Safety, he wouldn't follow me in there.

I walked into Bath and Body Works, the aromatic soaps and bubble baths were overwhelming. I walked along the wall, looking for something Rosalie or Sue might like. Embry walked up next to me. I suppressed a grin at the pained expression on his face, his nose wrinkled.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

I picked up a bottle of Twilight Woods body spray and twisted the lid off. "Sorry for what? Being a dickhead?" I sniffed the perfume. It smelled like berries, mimosa, a tinge of apricot and the woods after a storm. Sue would like that. I screwed the lid back on and stared pointedly at Embry. "Well?"

"Yes, for being a dickhead. I'm sorry I just feel…I don't know, off or something. From here on out, I'll just shut my mouth and follow you like a good puppy. Or some shit like that."

"Fine," I muttered grabbing another bottle of body spray off the shelf. "You're so lucky I love you, or I swear to god I wouldn't put up with this shit."

His freaking mood swings were leaving me dizzy. One minute he's fine, then he's not talking to me, then he's rescuing me from a graveyard, then he's acting like a spaz again. I was so confused.

He took the body spray from me and dutifully followed me around the store as I collected different lotions and sprays. He even carried the bag.

"Where to next?"

"To find something for Charlie and Seth."

We walked back in the opposite direction. I glanced at the stores as we walked by, trying to figure out what to buy everyone. Seth was easy, I bought him a video game he had been talking about for weeks.

Charlie was a bit more difficult, I knew he liked football, so I bought him a new Bears sweatshirt. The one he had looked like it had seen better days.

After we'd gotten gifts for my family, we went back to the food court for lunch. "We have one more stop," I told him as I took a bite of my soft taco.

Embry raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Where to and what for?"

I chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "For, um, Jake."

Embry set his slice of pizza down. He grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth. "Okay. What are you gonna get him?"

I sipped my soda and shrugged. "I was going to get him, um, well I don't really know. Maybe a t-shirt or something. Like with his favorite band on it."

I blushed. How embarrassing to have a boyfriend and have no idea what to get him for Christmas. I didn't even know who his favorite band was.

"Buy him one of those retarded ass t-shirts he loves so damn much," Embry snickered.

I snorted, soda went down my throat wrong. I coughed, spewing food all over the table. Embry tossed me a handful of napkins, laughing.

"It wasn't supposed to be that funny, Bella," he said after I stopped coughing.

"I know that. I was laughing because it's true. Those shirts are ridiculous."

Jake had a collection of t-shirts that said random ass things. The one he wore the other day had an oversized apple with vicious teeth chasing a doctor in green scrubs. The depiction, 'an apple a day…' was scribed beneath the picture. It was completely ridiculous and amusing all at the same time.

We found a store that sold the shirts. I bought him a couple that both Embry and I found funny. I found Embry a Mayday Parade t-shirt there. I knew he loved the band, he kleptoed their new cd off some file sharing web site before it was released, then dragged me to the music store to buy a copy the day it came out. A few of their songs grew on me, one called Take This to Heart in particular.

Rain was falling when we left the mall. Embry carefully drove down the slick streets. I sat in the passenger side staring out the window. "It's all gonna be frozen in the morning," I muttered.

"Yeah," Embry agreed.

"This is the main reason I miss Jacksonville, you know. I hate this crap."

Embry chuckled softly, jabbing the radio.

"Stop, I like this song."

He left the station and turned onto our street. "Maybe if you talk to your parents, well Charlie and Sue, again, they'll reconsider and let you go for Christmas."

I sighed. "Yeah, maybe. I doubt it though."

Embry pulled it up the curb. The car shuddered as it idled. "You never know. Anyway, thanks for inviting me to come with you today. I had fun."

"Yeah, thanks for coming. I hate shopping alone. See you at school tomorrow." I grabbed the bags out of back seat, pushing the door open.

"See you tomorrow," Embry echoed as I slammed the door.

Leah was curled up on the couch watching a movie when I came in. She glanced up, dabbing her eyes.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she replied.

I carried the bags to my room then went back downstairs.

"Dad's looking for you," she said after I'd sat down.

I groaned. "Where is he?"

Leah shrugged. "Upstairs in the office, I think. Mom said there was something important they needed to talk to you about."

"Fine," I sighed. "He dies in the end." I pointed at the television as I walked out of the room.

"Bitch," she muttered after me.

I climbed the stairs, tired after the day at the mall. The door to the office was open, warm lamp light spilled into the hallway. Charlie and Sue's voices could be heard as I walked toward them.

I knocked at the door, then went in. Charlie was sitting at his desk browsing the internet. Sue was curled up on the loveseat reading The Lovely Bones.

"May I come in?"

Charlie nodded, waving me in.

"Leah said you wanted to see me?"

He nodded again. Sue closed her book and sat up. "Come sit down, your father and I wanted to talk to you about something."

Trepidation squeezed my stomach and I cautiously walked into the office. "What's up?"

Sue patted the cushion next to her. I sat down, looking expectantly at the two of them.

"Would you still like to go to Jacksonville to see your friend Rosalie?" Charlie asked.

My heart beat excitedly in chest. "Does a fat kid like cake?" I asked, smiling like an idiot.

Charlie laughed. "I'll take that as a yes?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Heck yes!"

"There's a catch though," Charlie warned.

My jubilation faded. "What?"

"If we let you spend Christmas in Jacksonville, you have to spend New Year's here. Or vice versa. That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

"So, like, what? I'd fly down there the day after school let out for Christmas break, then spend a week down there, and fly back on the twenty-ninth or the thirtieth?"

Sue nodded. "Something like that. So what do you say?"

It was okay, a week back home was better than not going home at all. "Okay," I relented. "I'll take the deal."

Charlie smiled as he reached into a cubby hole on his desk. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. "Well then, Merry Christmas."

I took the envelope from him. The Delta logo was embossed in the lower left hand corner. I opened it and pulled out the ticket. I was leaving on a Friday, the last Friday before winter break, at four. Leaning over, I hugged Sue. "Thank you so much."

She rubbed my back. "You're welcome sweetheart. I hope you have a wonderful time."

She released me and I got up to hug Charlie. "Thank you too. This means so much to me."

"I'm glad you're happy honey. I only want what's best for you. I hope you and Rosalie have a wonderful time together."

Tears welled up in my eyes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now go call Rosalie and let her know you're coming."

Clutching my plane tickets in my hand I raced up to my room.

"Rosalie," I screamed when she answered the phone.

"Ohemgee, why are you screaming in my ear," she replied.

"Guess what?"

"Um…you're coming to see me?"

"Wait, what? How did you know?" I plopped down on the end of my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Um, your parental units called mine to see if we still wanted you."

"Oh, well damn it. I'm coming down on the twenty second, after school. What's the weather like?"

Rosalie sighed. "It's a warm winter. You could bring shorts or pants, you know. How long are they letting you stay for?"

"A week. They said I could spend Christmas with you but I had to be home for new years. It kinda sucks 'cause I wanted to spend New Year's with you, but I totally get where they're coming from, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Rosalie smacked her gum noisily in my ear.

"So you and your mom will pick me up at the airport that night?"

"Oh yeah, for sure. What airline are you flying?"

"Delta. My flight leaves here at four, then I have a two hour layover in Atlanta – that should be fun, and I'll get into Jacksonville a little before eleven. God I have so much to do before I leave."

"I know. God I'm so effin stoked. Five days! Eek!"

I talked to her for a while longer before I hung up and started digging around in my closet for summer clothes. I couldn't contain my excitement. I abandoned my search for shorts and t-shirts and called Embry instead.

"Oh my god, guess what?" I blurted out when he answered the phone.

"Jesus, what?"

"I'm going home!" I said.

"Huh, you are home. What are you talking about?"

"Home, home Em, Jacksonville home!"

"Oh."

The line crackled with anticipatory silence.

"I just told you I'm going home and all you have to say is 'oh.' What's up with that?"

"I thought you were past all that, the whole "I hate Forks because it sucks and it isn't Jacksonville" thing. When are you leaving?"

"On Friday. I talked to Rosalie earlier, she said it was warm and sunny down there. I'm so excited."

"Well, that's nice. You couldn't wait until after Christmas to run out on everyone?"

"Wait- what? I'm only going down for Christmas. What are you talking about?"

"Huh?"

"Embry. I'm only going to Jacksonville for Christmas. I'll be back for new years." I walked to the window and lifted the curtain. Jake was in his room playing a video game. I smiled and dropped the curtain. "You thought I was leaving for good?"

"Well, yeah. Let me tell you, this foot sure does taste good," Embry muttered.

I smiled. I really wished he would tell me what the heck was bothering him. "Alright idiot, I'm gonna go. It's getting late and I now have a million things to do. See you later."

"Bye Bella."

I hung up and did my happy dance. I would be back in Jacksonville at the end of the week and I could hardly wait.

**Reviews are better than tees featuring oversized apples with vicious teeth chasing a doctor in green scrubs...well maybe..that shirt made me lol for like five minutes**

**"Who We Are" by EVANS|BLUE**


	18. Satisfy

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

Okay....some of you are going to love this chapter and some of you are gonna hate it. Fair warning...but most of you who've read my other stories know that when I write things, I write them for a reason...there is a reason for this chapter...(its called a sequel, wink wink) so..that being said...big thanks to my beta, Shelby Sue for being awesome, as always...and to you guys who read and review ever so faithfully...love you all..and now, im gonna shut up and let you read!

**Bella**

"Bella? Where's Bella Dwyer?"

I heard Mrs. Burnette calling my name. I was standing in the wings, worriedly chewing my bottom lip. What was I going to do about my skit? I couldn't perform it alone. I looked up. Mrs. Burnette rushed toward me, her frizzy hair waving.

"Jake is sick, yes?"

I nodded. The bastard chose today, of all days, to get sick. He complained about feeling nauseous last night and I brushed him off, telling him he shouldn't have eaten a whole large pizza by himself. When he didn't show up this morning, fear settled into the pit of my stomach. I figured he overslept and would be late. When he didn't show up for Printed Arts I got really worried.

At lunch, I interrogated Becca. "Where's Jake?" I snapped before she even had the chance to sit down.

She jumped, fries slipped over the side of her tray. "He's sick," she said, sitting down.

"What?!"

"He got sick last night. He puked all over the hallway. My dad was so mad. Then this morning he puked on the kitchen floor. My dad said he had to stay home."

"Oh my god." I ran my hands through my hair. "My skit. What am I going to do about my skit?"

"Chillax," Embry said before shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. "It'll be okay."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Thanks for the encouragement."

* * *

"Bella, you're going to do your skit with Embry," Mrs. Burnette said. She turned, waving to Embry. He walked over, a bored expression on his face.

"What's up?"

"Embry, you're going to fill in for Jake since he's not here."

"But Mrs. Burnette, Embry doesn't know the lines. There's no way he can learn them in time."

"He has the same part as Jake."

"Oh," I said stupidly. "Okay then."

Mrs. Burnette walked away, yelling at a boy who was messing with the button that opened and closed the curtain.

"We should probably go practice," Embry said, walking toward a quiet corner. I followed silently.

We ran through the lines. His and Jake's were surprisingly similar. I was starting to feel confident again when the realization hit me. I had to kiss him.

My heart stuttered in my chest, skipping a beat, then two. "Um, we are gonna have to, you know –"

Embry groaned. "Yeah I know. Whatever, we'll just wing it. It's not a big deal, just a stupid kiss."

I breathed a sigh of relief, glad to hear he didn't think it was a big deal. Yeah right, who was I kidding? I had to kiss my best friend, in front of the whole junior class. It was going to be weird afterwards. Embry stood next to me as we waited to go on stage, this strange expression on his face. His eyes were pinched in the corners; he looked like he was going to be sick.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

"I'm fine," he muttered.

Mrs. Burnette came up beside me. "Alright you two, you're on," she said, gently shoving me on stage.

I stumbled onto the stage. Embry followed behind me watching as the other students made their way toward the opposite end of the stage.

"Come on," I said to him. "We'll follow them. Then I guess we'll see how this works out."

Embry stared at me for a minute. He took a deep breath and then said, with more conviction than I'd ever heard anyone speak with before, "I want you to kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, then we'll go with them."

My heart beat double time in my chest. "You want me to kiss you, right here, in the middle of the street? Is that what you're saying?"

Embry nodded. "Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You won't kiss me though, will you? No, probably not. You won't kiss me because I embarrass you, right?"

"No," I said, shaking my head vehemently. "I'm ashamed to kiss you," I whispered.

Embry rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he shook his head. Across the stage Tim Hilton came on the stage and drunkenly waved to Embry. Embry waved back. "Come on, Grumio, let's roll."

Embry and Tim started across the stage, heading for the wings. "Wait, Petruchio," I called.

Embry stopped. He turned to look at me.

"If you really want me to," I said in a small voice, "I'll kiss you."

He strode across the stage, his heavy footsteps echoed across the floor. Stopping in front of me, he looked down expectantly.

I looked up at him, squinting against the harsh stage lights. I took a deep breath. The lights burned my skin; I could smell the anticipation in the air. Tilting my head towards his, I leaned forward.

Embry angled his head toward me. His left arm snaked around my waist, pulling me towards him. My heart raced, blood rushed in my ears. I lamely pressed my lips against his, hoping for a quick smooch and a hasty get away. Embry's arm tightened around my waist, pinning me to his chest our hearts beat as one. I tried to pull away – he pulled me closer.

I gave in, opening my mouth slightly. He ran his tongue over mine. He tasted like orange lifesavers and French fries. I let go, let all the inhibition and fear just fall away and kissed him back.

The guys in the audience hollered as the two of us stood there, hot spotlights burning our skin, making out. I fisted my hands into his hair; it was longer than Jake's, my fingers slid through it easily. He pulled me closer still. I was so close I felt like I was becoming a part of him.

I was vaguely aware of Ms. Burnette hissing at us to finish the scene. I pulled away from Embry, he unwillingly let me go.

My head spun as I desperately tried to remember the last line. _Love,_ I thought, _something about love;_ _and staying_. "Now please, love, please stay," I said breathlessly.

Embry took my hand is his, stepping toward the wings. "Come on, babe. Better late than never – and it's never too late to change."

I calmly walked off the stage, my hand enveloped in Embry's. Once off the stage the shock washed over me. I just kissed my best friend. No, correction. I just made out with my best friend, on stage, in front of the whole junior class.

I shivered. I kissed my best friend - and I liked it. Oh my god.

My head spun, I took a deep breath, the air in the theater stale and warm. I pushed past Ms. Burnette and quickly hurried down the stairs. Pushing the door open I burst into the over lit hallway, greedily sucking in the cool air.

"Bella?" Embry called from inside the theater.

I leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath. Embry. My god. I got caught up in the moment, I told myself, just caught up in the moment. I was pretending he was Jake, that's all.

Pushing myself off the wall I went around to the front of the theater and crept into the front door, taking a seat in the darkest corner.

Embry? I thought incredulously. Did he feel that same connection? I wondered. Oh my god. All these little pieces started to fall into place. Embry's strange mood swings whenever I mentioned anything about Jake. All the little things suddenly made sense.

The bell rang. I jumped out of my seat, rushing for the door. I ran to my locker to my retrieve my backpack, then bolted for the car. The crisp winter air burned my lungs. Salt crunched under my feet and I walked toward the car, keys in hand.

When I got home, Charlie was in the kitchen making a turkey sandwich. "If Embry calls can you tell him I'm busy packing or something?"

I ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me still stunned. Embry. I kissed Embry. The kiss replayed itself over and over in my head as I finished packing. I kissed Embry and now I was heading off to Jacksonville.

I glanced at my cell phone sitting on the bedside table. My fingers itched to pick it up, to dial his number. Lips tingled to spill secret emotions I wasn't even sure I felt.

"Bella," Charlie called up the steps. "Sweetheart, it's time to go."

I snatched the phone off the table, shoving it in my pocket as I grabbed my suitcases.

"Got everything you need?" Charlie asked, taking a suitcase from me.

"I hope so," I replied handing him the second suitcase.

"Alrighty then. I'm going to take these to the car. Say goodbye to Sue and your brother."

I hugged Sue first.

"Be safe, be smart and call us if you want to come home sooner, or if you need anything at all. You understand?"

I nodded. "I understand. I'll miss you."

She released me and smiled. "I'll see you soon."

I went to Seth. He'd grown in the last few months and was now taller than me. "It's gonna be hard to call you my little brother if you don't stop growing," I said as I hugged him.

"Do you really have to go?" he asked. His brown irises swam in pools of unshed tears.

"I'll be back in a week,"

"You promise?"

I ruffled his hair. "I promise."

"Okay," he said letting me go. "Bring me back something cool."

"I will. By the way. Check under your bed."

The front door slammed shut, Charlie stomped his boots on the welcome mat. "Bella, it's time to head out."

"I'm coming," I called to him. I turned back to Seth. "Don't forget. Check under your bed. See you in a week."

I went to the hall closet, grabbed my coat. "Ready?" Charlie asked.

I pulled on my coat with a nod. Glancing at the house that had become my home I felt a momentary squeeze of panic. I had half a mind to tell Charlie to cancel the trip. I knew how much he paid for the tickets, so I bit my tongue. "Let's go," I said in a small voice.

In my pocket, my phone vibrated. I ignored it and got into the car. It buzzed again as Charlie pulled onto the highway. I tried to ignore it but my thigh was starting to go numb. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. Embry's cross eyed face stared back. I sighed and shut it.

"Everything okay?" Charlie asked glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Um, kinda sorta but not really," I said.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Um…"

Yes. No. This was my father would he- could he, understand the woes of a seventeen year old girls boy trouble?

_Give him a chance_, my subconscious urged.

"It's about a guy."

"What happened? Do I need to kill that Jake kid?"

Laughing, I shook my head no and launched into my tale, telling him how Jake was my partner for the assignment, but he was sick so I had to kiss Embry who was, for all intents and purposes, my best friend.

Charlie sighed. "So what's the big deal?" he asked exasperatedly.

"The big deal, dad…"

That slipped out. His whole demeanor relaxed me, that and the fact he was acting very dad like – a lot like Phil. It just made it, him and his role in my life, easier to accept.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Charlie, bless his heart, smile nonchalantly and said, "So what's the big deal. You're dating Jake and you had to kiss Embry for a school assignment. I'm sure Jake will understand."

"No, that's not it. I um," god how do you tell your dad you liked kissing a boy? "I liked kissing Embry, a lot more than I like kissing Jake. It felt different, somehow too."

"Different how?" Charlie asked.

"I dunno," I shrugged. "Like, kissing Jake is nice and all, but it sorta feels unnatural. Kissing Embry, well, wow, that felt right. But he's my friend, one of my best friends. What if I'm making a big deal about nothing, I don't even know if he feels the same way about me. I'm making a big deal out a stupid kiss. This is ridiculous."

"Bella." Charlie placed a hand on my forearm. I stopped rambling.

"Hmm?"

"It'll be okay."

Charlie pulled into the airport terminal, stopping at the curb outside the delta terminal. "Alright sweetheart. You have your tickets right?"

I fumbled around my bag, pulling out the ticket envelope. "Yuppers, now pop the trunk."

I hopped out of the car, walking down the sidewalk. Charlie set my luggage by my feet. "I hope you have fun. If you need anything, or if you want to come home sooner you just call and I'll make it happen, understand?"

I nodded wrapping my arms around Charlie's neck. "Thank you, so much, for letting me go."

Charlie rubbed my back. "You're welcome. Have fun. I'll see you on the thirtieth."

I grabbed my bags and marched into the terminal, and went to wait in line. I let go of the luggage handle and dug my cell phone out, turning it back on.

A message appeared asking me if I wanted to listen to my voicemail. Pressing the phone against my ear I listened to Embry's message.

"Bella," he said. "You ran off without saying goodbye and I just wanted to say that I hope you have a good flight and that I hope you have fun in Florida and I guess I'll um, guess I'll see you when you get back."

I hung up. Grabbing my luggage I stepped up to the counter, handing the irritated looking woman my ticket and setting my bags on the scale.

She clicked the mouse angrily, "Name?"

"Bella Dwyer."

"Thank you."

She ran through the usual questions then handed me my boarding pass.

"Here you go. Thank you for flying Delta. Have a nice flight. Next!"

I walked toward the terminal, had my fingernail file and eye drops taken away at the security check then went to wait for my flight.

Sitting in the window I watched planes take off, people being shuttled off to their destinations. Christmas music was playing between announcements and calls to board. The noise in the terminal was overwhelming. Across the waiting area, a baby was screaming angrily. A child was screeching for a lollipop and a girl was giggling.

My phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, glancing down at the screen.

"Hey," I said. "How you feeling?"

"Better," Jake said. "How was the skit? Did you still have to do it?"

"Yes," I groaned. "Burnette made Embry do the lines with me."

"Oh that had to suck," Jake chortled.

"You bet your ass it did."

"Anyway. Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport. I'm flying to Jacksonville today remember?"

"Oh, damn I forgot about that. Bella, I'm sorry."

"It's okay Jake. I'll be back in a week. But I have to go, they're boarding."

"Alright, babe. Have a safe trip. See you in a week."

I hung up, listening as they called rows one through four. In my hand the phone buzzed again. Embry. I swallowed hard. Reaching deep I grabbed my courage.

"Hey!" I said cheerfully.

"Hi," he replied. "Are you at the airport?"

"Yeah. I'm actually about to get on the plane."

"Oh. Well this won't take long. I don't know how you feel, but kissing you today – God Bella, I don't even know what to say, but part of me thinks that it meant something to you too."

"Em –I, I don't even know what to say."

"Now boarding rows five through ten. Boarding rows five through ten."

"Embry I have to go, they're boarding my row."

"Just tell me you felt it too Bella. That's all I want to hear."

"Embry – I"

"Just tell me you felt it too. That you liked kissing me as much as I liked kissing you."

"Embry-"

"Bella."

Damn it.

"Now boarding rows eleven through fifteen. Rows eleven through fifteen, now boarding."

"Embry I really, really have to go."

"Fine," Embry sneered. "See you when you get back."

"It did," I said but it was too late.

I snapped the phone shut and boarded the plane.

"Have a nice flight," the stewardess chirped.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

I found my seat and sat down, it was going to be a long flight and I needed the time.

**Reviews are better than Embry _finally_ airing all his dirty laundry.**

Satisfy by Vedera


	19. Back to the Middle

**A/N All the Twilighty goodies contained in this here story belong to Stephenie Meyer :)**

just to answer a few questiosn..nope...no "wolfy" type of action going on here...everybody's a normal old human..lol...Bella's present to Seth was a video game...and no you didn't miss it because I didn't put it in there (I drew a blank..). And thanks for being so open to the whole "Bella & Embry" thing...I cringed everytime my email popped up with new reviews...I was afraid there was gonna be a riot..lol. Anyways...big old thanks to my beta ShelbySue...she rocks way harder than polka dotted toe socks...and of course thank you for reading...now here ya go!

**Bella**

I watched as Jacksonville appeared out of the darkness. Lights twinkled below as the plane circled the runway. I'd spent the entire flight, the whole two hour layover in Atlanta, thinking about the kiss; about Embry's phone call, about everything.

The plane landed smoothly, coming to a stop outside the terminal. I peered out the window at the terminal on the other side. People rushed this way and that way, back and forth past the plate glass windows, coming and going, going and coming. It was slightly chaotic, or so it seemed from my comfortable perch inside the plane's comfortably heated cabin.

Rosalie and Emmett were waiting when I got off the plane. I saw Emmett first. He was leaning against the wall just outside the terminal, a petite bleach blond stood next to him. Dumbfound, I looked around for Rosalie. The blond walked toward me. "Bella!" she squealed.

"Oh my god," I squeaked grabbing a handful of hair. "What the hell happened to your hair?" Her beautiful dirty blond hair was now a brilliant shade of platinum blond.

Rosalie snatched her bleached tresses out of my hand. "What's wrong with it?" she asked, her lower lip poking out, a wounded expression masked her normally beautiful features.

"Rosalie, you look like a Barbie doll!"

"Barbie's hot," Rosalie pouted.

Emmett snickered. "She's getting a boob job next."

"A BOOB job!?" I shrieked. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," she hissed, her face turning a brilliant shade of red. "Let's get your stuff."

"She's trying to get in with this modeling agency," Emmett whispered.

"A modeling agency? Why do you wanna be a model, Rosalie?"

She whipped around. "Lay off, okay. I want to get the hell out of here after high school. We all know I'm not too bright up here," she tapped her forehead. "I'm pretty bright here," she circled her pretty heart shaped face. "So why not use it to my advantage. I'm not you Bella, million dollar trust fund set up to take care of me in my young age."

Her words stung. I felt the first tinges of regret. _I should have just stayed home_, I thought. "Okay, fine whatever," I muttered.

"Look, I'm sorry. It's late and I'm tired. Let's just get your stuff and go home, okay?"

I nodded and marched off toward the baggage claim, watching as my bags slowly circled the carousel. Emmett grabbed them as they bumbled towards us.

"Let's go," Rosalie said.

"So how's life up there in exiliar?"

"Whoa Em, that's a big word. It's really not that bad. I have a boyfriend, he plays football. The parental units aren't that bad either. And oh my god you guys, my brother, Seth, is hilarious – just the sweetest kid."

"How's the evil step-sister? Did you kick her ass yet?" Rosalie asked, leading the way across terminal to the automatic doors.

"We got into a fight right before Thanksgiving. She keyed my car and I just snapped. She got in trouble for all the crap she'd been doing to my room and my stuff and Charlie said that he wanted us to try and get along." I shrugged. "She's left me alone, so we're cool."

"And your – well, Charlie. Is he still being a supreme douche bag?"

We walked into the balmy night. Cool wind blew the palm fronds that lined the walkway. We stopped and waited for a taxi to pass before crossing the street.

"No. Actually it turns out Charlie kinda had a reason for his doucheyness."

Rosalie laughed. "Doucheyness. I like that."

"Yeah, I just made that up."

Rosalie threw her arm around my shoulder. "I've missed you so much," she said resting her head on my shoulder.

"I've missed you too. I'm so glad they let me come back, even if it is just for a week." It was true. Now that she had lost her little attitude, it was nice to be back. The way we were, Rose and me, we just sort of fell back into that old pattern.

"I know. I was so surprised when my mom told me that he called and was trying to make plans for you to come down."

We got to Rosalie's car. She popped the trunk and handed the keys to Emmett. "Can you drive please. I'm so tired."

"It's early. Why are you so tired?"

Rosalie sighed. "Studying for mid-terms. I totally bombed English this semester. My mom said if I got an F you couldn't come down."

"Rosalie, sweetie, you won't get your report card till after you go back to school."

"Oh my god, you're totally right. How dumb am I?"

I tugged her blond curls. "It's the bleach. It's eaten away at your brain."

The drive back to her house was quick. The radio stations here still sucked. The late night D.J. came on, announcing he was going to play the newest Lady Gaga song. I bounced excited in the back seat. "I've wanted to hear this song. All I've ever heard was, like, the last few seconds."

Then the song started. I frowned at the radio. "Something's never change," I muttered, it was that old ass _Let's Dance_ song, and not her newest one.

"What's wrong?" Rosalie asked.

"Nothing," I said with a laugh. "It's just good to be home."

* * *

The sun rose the following morning, shining brightly through Rosalie's bedroom window. I squinted and rolled over. Rosalie snored loudly in my ear. I shoved her. She snorted like a piglet, then rolled over.

I stared at the ceiling, wide awake. I wondered what Seth was doing back at home. I wondered if he found his present. Probably, I decided.

My thoughts drifted to Embry. _"Kissing you today…God Bella…"_

I rubbed my temples. This was nuts. Why was I even thinking about this?

Because kissing him was hot, and I liked it; and I wanted to do it again, and again and again. Then I felt guilty. I was dating Jake and I was laying here fantasizing about kissing his, and my, best friend. These tumultuous emotions were dizzying.

Beside me, Rosalie thrashed in her sleep, her hands swinging erratically. I grabbed her fist before she had a chance to knock me out. "Damn it, quit trying to hit me," I growled.

Her eyes popped open and she gasped. "You totally freaking scared me," she breathed clutching her chest.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Why are you awake already?"

"Couldn't sleep. It's too sunny. Lots of clouds back home. They block the sun, so in the morning it's normally gray and cloudy, not blue and sunny."

Rosalie grinned. "Welcome back to the sunshine state doll face. Let's go eat, then we can go ride the skyway for an hour or so."

"They finally finished that?"

The skyway was this ridiculous monorail train like thing that was supposed to connect all these business and cross over the river and generally make life easier. It wasn't finished when I left, and it looked as if it was never going to be.

Rosalie nodded. "It goes over the St. John's and it's like fifty cents to ride it. Then we can just hang out; maybe go see some friends from school or something."

"That sounds fun."

We headed out later that afternoon. The sun was shining and it was warm. The radio said it was 75 degrees. I took in the familiar sights as we headed downtown.

"So really, now that it's just us, how's life?"

I ran my hands through my hair. "It's kind of a mess right now," I admitted.

"What's going on?"

"Okay, well yesterday at school I had to kiss my friend, Embry because my boyfriend was out sick, then I ran off and flew here. He called me before I got on the plane and was all "oh my god Bella, I like, totally loved kissing you and I know you liked it too." I sighed.

"Wait, hold on and back the hell up. You _had_ to kiss your friend because your boyfriend was sick? I'm so totally lost."

"For English, we had to re-write Shakespeare." In the driver seat, Rosalie grimaced. "I know; Shakespeare would roll over if he heard how some of them butchered his stuff. Anyway, we did The Taming of the Shrew and I got the scene where they kiss for the first time. Jake, my boyfriend, and I got that scene. But then he got sick so he had to stay home. My English teacher made me do it with Embry, who's like you, only a guy. And so I kissed him, like for real kissed him and I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Ooh."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Well what about Jake? Have you talked to him about it?"

I shook my head no. "Jake is cool and all, but it's always been really weird between us. Kinda like we were forcing ourselves to like each other. I mean he's hot as hell and all that, but really we're like friends with benefits, without the benefits."

"So you like Embry?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. Oh for Christ's sake, I don't know."

"Well if he's your friend you wouldn't want to date him and mess up your friendship."

"But what if…" I didn't want to say it out loud. It would sound stupid. It sounded stupid in my head.

"What if what?"

"Nothing." It didn't matter. Embry wasn't the one. No one found "the one" at seventeen, it was just stupid.

"No, tell me. What?"

I sighed. "What if he's like, the one or something like that?"

Rosalie snorted. "The one, as in your soul mate, the one?"

"See I told you it sounded dumb. Whatever, it's not important."

Rosalie pulled into a parking garage. "Aw, doll face, if it's important to you, we can talk about it."

I waved her off. "It's not. Let's go ride this sky tram thing."

It was important, but her comment about falling for a friend and ruining that friendship, well, it really got me thinking. What if I did fall for him and it did ruin our friendship? That would really suck. Better to probably just squash the emotions and pretend like the kiss never happened.

There was an ache in my chest at the though. What if I pretended it never happened and lost out on a good thing? How would I even know? What if dating Embry was the worst thing I could do?

Jesus-freaking-Christ I was confused.

I followed Rosalie up the stairs to the station at the top of the parking garage, staring at her platinum locks swaying in the breeze. Why didn't she get it? She and Emmett had been together forever and she was always claiming he was her soul mate and I never, not even once, made fun of her or told her she was too young for all that. I should have stayed home. It was stupid to think I could come back here and act like nothing changed when everything had. There was a reason they said you can't go home again – because you can't.

One thing changes everything. I was no longer the Bella Dwyer who left Jacksonville back in October. I was different now and the new me had no place here, not anymore.

* * *

Christmas was…different. Rosalie's mom had gone off to a spa in Palm Bay, leaving us to our own devices. So Rosalie did what she did best. She threw a party.

I hung around for a little while, saying hi to all the people I'd gone to school with, catching up on what they'd been up to over the last few months. After an hour I was ready to curl up with a good book in a quiet corner and I needed to call home. I went to find my cell phone and instead found Brian Nyguen and Olivia Adams having sex in Rosalie's bed. I quickly shut the door and rushed downstairs.

"Dude, there are two people upstairs getting it on in your bed," I told her before hurrying off to the kitchen.

I heard her screaming over the thumping bass. I avoided the alcohol; I learned my lesson at the Halloween party, and grabbed the cordless phone. I dialed the house in Forks and waited for someone to answer.

There were people in the pool as I stepped off the patio. The distant howl of a fire engine screamed across the city. No, I didn't miss this at all. The phone rang again before finally being answered.

"Merry Christmas!" I said.

"Oh Bella, sweetheart, Merry Christmas to you too. How's Jacksonville?" Sue inquired.

_It sucks_, I thought, but I couldn't tell her that, so I lied instead. "It's great. It's so warm too. It was seventy five today. How was Christmas?"

"It was good. Did you give Seth his gift early?"

"Yeah, I hid it under his bed before I left." I smiled. I guess he opened it early after all.

"How is your Christmas? Are you having fun?"

"It's okay. I kind of wish I was at home with all of you."

Sue sighed. "We wish you were here too. But just think, you'll be home for New Year's. We're going to have a party. Your dad is going to shoot off fireworks in the back yard. It'll be fun."

"It does sound fun. Can I talk to Seth?"

"Sure sweetheart, hold on."

Sue moved the phone away from her mouth and called for Seth.

"Hey Zee!" he said breathlessly. "When are you coming home?"

"Soon. Do you like your Christmas present?" I asked. A girl screamed as she fell into the pool. Water lapped up over the edges, soaking the hems of my pants.

"Heck yeah. Thank you so much. I can't wait for you to come home. I got you the most awesomest present ever. You're gonna love it."

"Cool beans, little brother. Hey, have you seen Embry at all?"

"Um." Seth was quiet for a minute. "Yeah. He was outside the other day messing with his car. He looked like somebody killed his cat. Why, is he mad at you? Want me to beat him up, 'cause I will."

"Whoa, home slice. Chillax. No, I was just wondering if you'd seen him, that's all. What's up with the kung fu ninja skills?"

"Mom and Dad got me karate lessons for Christmas. How cool is that?"

"That's pretty awesome." I heard sirens at the end of the street. The neighbors must have called the cops. "Hey, look, I gotta run. But I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"Okay Zee. Have fun and don't forget to bring me something cool, alright?"

"Alright little bro, I'll bring you some ocean or something."

"Sweet! Bye Zee."

"Bye Seth." I hung up, watching as blue and red lights sliced through the night. The music died and people scattered, all running for the street.

I sank down into a deck chair, laughing. A naked boy ran across the backyard, vaulting over the fence. I did a double take, positive my eyes were playing tricks on me. I shrugged; it probably was a naked guy. It wouldn't be the first time a naked person went over the fence. I lay back with my eyes closed. Images from the skit replayed like a video stuck on repeat in my head. I felt the burn of the lights, tasted the sugary orange of the lifesaver. I could feel his hands on my waist, his chest pressed against mine.

Shrill laughter brought me out of my reverie. My eyes snapped open in time to see Rosalie stumbled down the stairs, a green plastic cup in her hand. She sank into the chaise next to mine and sipped her drink.

"Cops broke up the party," she slurred.

"That sucks," I replied, staring up at the sky.

"Did you talk to your boy friend?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you fix your boy trouble?" she asked pointing at the phone in my hand.

"Oh, no. I called home to say merry Christmas. I was talking to my little brother."

"Oh. You know, you keep calling that place "home." It's not your home dizzy Izzy, this – here, is. This is where you belong, not some hick town with a population the size of my neighborhood."

"Ros, you're drunk. You don't know what you're talking about. Just go inside and go to bed."

She was starting to piss me off. She'd been doing it a lot these last few days. She'd say things, just little things that grated my nerves the wrong way.

"I can't," she fumed. "Some asshole had sex, _sex_ in my bed. It needs clean sheets."

"So then sleep on the couch," I retorted.

"I can't," she whined.

I rolled my eyes. "And why not?"

"Emmett is asleep on the couch."

"Well then you're fucked six ways from Sunday." I got up to get her a glass of water and some aspirin.

"Bella," she called.

I glanced over my shoulder at her. "What, Rose?"

"You changed. I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Yeah, tell me about it," I sighed.

The thirtieth couldn't have come any quicker. The morning after Christmas was awkward, Rosalie and I had grown worlds apart in the few months I'd been away. We both knew it and there was nothing we could do about it.

She dropped me off at the terminal, saying she hoped I had a nice flight. I watched her pull away, sad that this chapter of my life was over.

She rounded the corner and disappeared. I sighed, collecting my luggage. It was time to get out of the land of sand and sun and go home.

I turned toward the terminal and walked in. I was going home, for real this time.

**Reviews are better than....hmm...better than realizing the one place you never thought you wanted to be is exactly the place you _need_ to be :)**

"Back to the Middle" by Vedera


	20. Nobody Does it Better

**A/N All the Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

Hmm...not much to say...thank you to my beta, ShelbySue, as always, she rules. Anyways...here ya go, chapter 20...leave me lots of nice reviews and I'll post 21 in the morning...yes I am resorting to bribery..lol. thank you guys for reading, and sticking with the story even if Bella likes Embry more than she likes Jake. I heart you guys for that.

**Bella**

I stared out the window as Jacksonville fell away. The plane passed through a cloud, fluffy and white. I was going home. Happily, I sighed. I still needed to deal with the Embry situation. And Jake. Obviously I was attracted to Embry. The kiss said it all, but I didn't want to hurt Jake either.

_Oh please, he's not going to be hurt,_ I thought.

That spark just wasn't there. He was a nice guy and I hoped we could be friends, but we sucked as a couple.

_Yeah, but he's so good looking_, the vain part of my subconscious interjected.

That was true. Seventeen year olds should not be that hot, it's just not fair. I sighed dreamily.

_Focus_, I ordered myself as visions of abs and happy trails flashed through my head.

What do I do? Go home and break up with him or give it another chance? Well, the New Years Eve party is tomorrow night. It'll be like a last ditch effort. If it, that spark or zap, whatever you wanna call it, still isn't there then I'll break up with him, I resolved.

_Yeah, but what about Embry?_ My subconscious retorted.

Oh shut up you, I fired back. Embry, well…I don't know. It'll be fine somehow, it always was.

* * *

It was late afternoon when the plane landed in Port Angeles. Charlie, Sue, Seth _and _Leah were waiting when I got off the plane.

"Welcome home!" they said as I walked up.

"Hi!" I exclaimed. "Oh my god I'm so glad to be home."

As Charlie waited for my bags, Seth and Sue bombarded me with questions. "It wasn't a lot of fun," I told them as we walked to the car.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," Sue said sympathetically. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing in particular. I'm just not the same as I used to be. I guess Rosalie was expecting me to stay the same, but she changed a lot too." I shrugged. "It is what is though, you know?"

"People change," Leah said.

I smiled at her. "Yes. Yes they do."

I slept the entire trip home. I awoke with a start as Charlie parked the car in the driveway. "We're home," he said before getting out of the car.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes, drinking in the sight of the house, Christmas lights twinkling in the twilight. I breathed in the stillness of the air, the quietness. There were no sirens wailing off in the distance, no beeping horns or blaring hip hop music. I shivered. I even missed the cold.

"Let's go inside," Sue said slipping one arm over my shoulder, the other over Leah's. "Nice to have my family all back under one roof."

I smiled again. My cheeks were beginning to ache from all the smiling. Sue unlocked the door, Leah and I trailed into the house behind her. Warm vanilla and Christmas tree scent wrapped around me, enveloping me.

Charlie and Seth banged in through the front door, suitcases in tow.

"Did you bring me something cool?" Seth asked.

I nodded, reaching for my suitcase. "I brought you the ocean," I told him.

"The ocean?" he said skeptically.

I nodded, unzipping the front of the suitcase. I reached in and pulled out a wavy bottle. "See," I said holding it up for him to see. "The ocean."

"That's so cool," he said taking the bottle from my hand. Laughing, I rolled my eyes. It was just a bottle that had sand in the bottom and ocean water. Nothing special, just something I did real quick before leaving.

I reached into my bag and fumbled around for a minute before I found and pulled out two jewelry boxes. I handed one to Sue, the other to Leah.

"What's this?" Leah asked.

"Open it."

She lifted the lid cautiously. I think she expected to find a dead fish, or something equally as disgusting. Pulling the necklace out, she fingered the pendant carefully. "It's so pretty. What is it?"

"Beach glass," I said. "There's this woman who lives on the beach, and each morning she takes her Lab and walks down the beach collecting buckets full of it. Then she cleans it up, makes it pretty and sells it. I figured you guys would like it better than a cheesy puka shell necklace.

"Thanks Bella. I love the color," Leah said.

"I thought it would look good with your skin color. I'm glad you like it."

"I do. Thank you."

Sue opened hers, gasping when she saw it. Hers was prettier because I liked her better.

"Bella, this is gorgeous."

Hers was emerald green with eight freshwater pearls in various shades of green. An emerald green piece of glass was attached to the end of the necklace.

"Thank you," she said, hugging me.

"You're welcome."

I reached into my bag and pulled out a small paper bag. "I didn't know what to get you," I admitted, handing the bag to Charlie.

"It's okay, sweetheart, you didn't have to get me anything." He reached into the bag and pulled out the keychain, chuckling.

"What's it say Daddy?" Leah asked reaching for the rectangular piece of plastic.

"My daughter went to Jacksonville and all I got was this crummy key chain."

Leah giggled. "That's funny. Good one, Bella."

"There's one more in there," I told him.

He laughed heartily when he pulled it out and read it. "Proud to be a 100%, ticket writing, donut eating, heard every excuse police officer. I like that."

"I'm gonna go unpack." I grabbed my suitcases, dragging them up the stairs behind me as I went. The noises of the house were comforting, even my room in the attic was a welcome relief after being gone for a week.

In the center of my bed was a square item covered in Santa Claus paper. I walked toward the bed, grabbing the package. It looked like a book. It felt like a book, even smelled like a book, a very old book.

I tore the paper off, turning it over, glancing at the title. _Great Expectations_. I ran my fingers over the embossed cover wondering who it could be from.

Opening the dusty cover the musty smell of years gone by assaulted my senses. In handwriting that was all too familiar, scrawled along the inside of the front cover was this: "_That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."_

Cheapskate, stealing a passage from the very book he gave me. Gently, I closed the book, setting it back on the bed. I went to turn back to my luggage when I noticed a sliver of super white paper peeking out from where it was nestled in between the yellowed pages. I gently flipped through the worn paragraphs, the book spilling open revealing a sheet of notebook paper. I pulled it out, opening it. I sank down to the edge of the bed, all notions of unpacking quickly forgotten.

_It might not have meant the same thing to you, Bella, but that kiss will forever change my life. I have loved you since the first time I saw you, flat on your back scowling at Jake. I will probably always love you – even if you never love me back. I'll always be your friend, no matter what. I'll always wait for you; no matter what._

_Love,_

_Embry_

I folded the sheet of paper, tucking it back into the pages of Great Expectations. I sighed. _Why did this have to be so difficult_? I wondered. I stood in the center of my room, looking around. My luggage still sat by the closet door. I tossed the discarded wrapping paper in the trash can next to my desk, then picked up _Great Expectations_ and gently set it on the bedside table. I crossed the room and began unpacking.

* * *

New Year's Eve dawned crisp and clear. A fresh layer of snow fell the night before, covering the world with a blanket of white. I woke up to the sounds of Sue singing, quite loudly, Carly Simon.

I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. She got louder.

Throwing the covers off, I got out of bed, grumbling. I passed Leah on my way down the stairs. "Carly Simon," she muttered, "At eight thirty in the morning. So _not _cool."

"It could be worse," I said.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Really? What could be worse than Carly Simon at the ass crack of dawn?"

"Neil Diamond at the ass crack of dawn."

"Oh my god, yes, that would be worse."

"You're telling me. My mom woke me up one morning howling, and I mean howling, Sweet Caroline at the top of her lungs."

"Wow. Sweet Caroline, your mom has interesting taste in music."

"Tell me about it."

Leah smiled, heading down the stairs before me. I stood back, watching her go. I kind of liked this new found acceptance we had. It was a lot easier than hating her.

When I entered the kitchen, Sue was dancing, singing into a spatula. "You're so vain; I bet you think this song is about you. Good morning girls. Breakfast?"

I sat down across from Leah at the island and nodded. A plate of steaming eggs appeared in front of me, Sue circled around back to the stove, harmonizing into the spatula. I heaved a forkful of eggs, chewing thoughtfully. Sue turned to face us when the song ended.

"Agenda for the day ladies, party prep. We're in charge of making cider, fruit salad and lasagna. Dad and Seth are in charge of cider, I'm doing to the lasagna, and so that leaves you two in charge of fruit salad. Enough to feed the whole street."

I looked from Sue to Leah. Leah was nonchalantly chewing a piece of toast. "Um, I don't know how to make fruit salad."

"It's easy Bella," Leah said after she swallowed her toast. "Cut up some fruit, toss it in a bowl. That's it."

"Oh. Well okay then. Let's get started."

"That's the spirit!" Sue turned Carly Simon back up and continued to serenade us.

Leah finished her breakfast and put her dish in the dishwasher. "C'mon, the fruits down in the cellar."

"The cellar?" I gulped. I still had trouble going down there. It creeped me out, and it smelled badly.

"Oh don't be a scaredy cat. Come on."

I swallowed hard and tentatively followed Leah down to stairs. She shoved a bag of apples at me before my feet even hit the concrete floor.

"Oof, thanks."

I made three trips up and down the stairs, carrying different fruits. When all the produce had been brought up, we washed it and divided it.

We worked diligently all morning. At noon the doorbell started ringing. Neighbors would waltz into the kitchen, casserole dishes and crock pots in tow. I watched as the dining room table disappeared under a mountain of food.

"Wow this really is a big deal, huh?"

Leah nodded. "Yeah. In a few hours the house'll get crowded. People will be everywhere and by eight they'll all be tipsy. It's really kind of funny."

True to Leah's word by three the house was packed. Someone was in the living room singing a really bad rendition of an Aerosmith song.

By nine most were tipsy.

At ten thirty, Jake and Embry walked in. Embry gazed woefully at me and kept walking. I watched him go into the kitchen.

Jake's arms wrapped around me, pulling me against his chest. "Hey you," he said.

I jumped, clutching my chest. I'd been so engrossed in watching Embry as he leaned against the counter, flirting with Amanda Hall who lived at the end of the street. His eyes never left mine as he touched her arm or tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," I said, tearing my gaze from Embry.

"How was Jacksonville?"

"It sucked," I said, kissing him. Hmm, maybe there was a flicker of something.

"Really?"

I nodded and kissed him again. No, nothing. "I'm glad to be home. How was your Christmas?"

Jake shrugged. "It sucked. I was sick."

I pushed him away. "Keep your germs far away from me," I laughed.

"Come back here, I'm not sick anymore. How was the school performance?"

I groaned. "It was a disaster. I had to kiss Embry." I felt my cheeks burn as I said that.

"I bet that sucked."

I shrugged. "It could've been worse."

"Yeah, probably. Let's get something to drink."

We hung around the kitchen with some kids from school, eating cheetos and drinking soda. At eleven thirty, Charlie ushered into the yard.

"Come on miscreants. Let's go set off some fireworks."

We all got up, following him onto the porch. Charlie hurried off to the end of the yard. Sue yelled for him to be careful and make sure he didn't burn off his eyebrows again this year.

"What's she talking about?" I asked.

Leah snickered. "Last year, Ivan Klein and dad got into an argument over what fireworks to set off first, and Ivan was waving a sparkler or something like that, around, and dad's hair caught on fire, and he lost an eyebrow. It was funny, him walking around with only one eyebrow for like six months."

I watched as Charlie set off the fireworks. All the little kids oohed and ahhed at the bright colors. I coughed on the sulfur that floated across the backyard.

I looked around at all the people gathered in the backyard. The latest song by Mylie Cyrus played in the living room. I looked over my shoulder. Seth and Becca were dancing on the coffee table. I snorted. If Charlie or Sue saw them they'd be in some serious trouble.

I heard a shriek of girlish delight across the yard, and turned to look. Charlie was chasing Sue around the yard. I laughed. Okay, maybe Seth and Becca would be safe this time.

I couldn't believe that I had been so anxious to leave all this, especially before I even gave it a chance. Maybe my parents dying had been a blessing in disguise. No, I doubted that. I think that even if they hadn't died, somehow I would have gone down this path. It just happened sooner rather than later.

Someone came around, handing us all sparklers. I took one, holding it out for Jake to light.

"Come on," he said, his features illuminated by the sparkler. "It's almost midnight."

He took my hand, and together we ran across the yard, collapsing on to the swing at the edge of the property. A slow countdown started, gradually growing louder as we neared midnight.

"Five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year!"

All around us, people started kissing. I leaned toward Jake. My sparkler sizzled out as my lips touched his. Talk about ironic. I pulled away from him, laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"This," I held up the sparkler. "Us. Seriously, we suck at this."

"Yeah, you know, you're kinda right," he chuckled.

"I mean, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but like, seriously? We're like friends who kiss occasionally."

"Yeah I know what you mean. It has always been weird. I like you, and I think you're hot as hell, but really, that's about it."

"Oh my god," I said smacking his chest, "I know what you mean. I hope we can still be friends, because I like you like that, but as a couple we sucked."

"Of course we can still be friends. You're a chick who likes zombie movies, and football. I'd be nuts not to want to hang with you. But uh, you might want to talk to Embry. Dude's been carrying a torch for you since you moved here."

I smiled sadly, looking across the yard to where Embry stood alone. "I figured that, especially after the note he left wedged in the pages of Great Expectations."

"Yeah, and the like, eight songs he wrote for you while you were gone."

"Wait, he wrote songs for me? Like a song you'd hear on the radio?"

Jake nodded. "He won't say they're for you, but they're all sad and mopey, so they have to be about you."

"You know, it's kinda messed up of you to still date me knowing that your best friend had the hots for me."

Jake shrugged. "He had his chance. He didn't take it, so…"

"So you did?"

"I'm a guy. What do you expect?"

"Yeah you're right. I can't date him though."

"Why not?"

"He's my best friend. I don't have many here and I don't really want to lose the one good friend I do have."

Jake rubbed my back. "I doubt you'd lose him. Besides, who needs Embry, when you have me?"

I smacked his chest. "You're so conceited."

Jake shrugged. "Eh, what can I say?"

"I don't know." I looked up. Leah was walking towards us. "You should give her another chance," I told him, nodding in her direction.

"You think?"

I nodded. "She's really not that bad, once you get past all the repressed teenage rage. Go on."

I pushed him towards Leah, who looked surprised as he sauntered up to her. Surprise turned to giddy happiness as she threw her arms around his neck. My first good deed of the year and one problem solved.

I glanced over at Embry who was staring at me. _Now if I could just figure out what to do about him_, I thought fighting the urge to run across the yard and tackle him. My legs twitched in anticipation. I swallowed hard, getting up.

_Now or never_, I thought.

He met me halfway across the yard. "Hi," I said coming to a stop.

"Hey," he replied.

"Thanks, for the book. It was nice of you to replace it."

"It was no big deal. I know it was your favorite and Leah destroyed it. I'm glad you like it."

"Look, Embry. I um, I really don't know what to say about any of what's happened. You're my best friend, I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I just…I'm afraid to take that step."

"That's fine. Like I said, I'd wait forever if you asked me to. All you have to do is ask. But until then, I'll be there for you always."

"I know. I just…can't. Not right now."

And with that I walked away.

**Reviews are better than doing a good thing for your not so evil step-sister...so leave me lots and I'll give you chapter 21!**

**"**Nobody Does it Better" by Carly Simon


	21. Confessions

**A/N Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

Big huge thanks to my always amazing beta, ShelbySue. Oh my gosh some of you make me laugh so hard with your comments....srsly...and so like I promised...here's the next chapter...because you guys rock and deserve it...hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving.

**Bella**

Winter break ended and school resumed the first week of January. Life settled into an easy rhythm. I was no longer just existing; I was living again. I made more friends, threw myself into theater and continued going to art therapy with Sue. Leah started going with us as well.

The two of us had come to some sort of middle ground. When we were both at home we would hang out and talk.

Apparently she was on team "hook Bella and Embry up" as well as everyone else.

"When are you gonna go out with Embry?" she asked one Saturday afternoon.

We were lounging in the living room, Leah sprawled out on the couch, and I was curled up on the loveseat a bowl of popcorn on the table between us and a Lifetime movie on the television.

"What are you talking about?" I asked glancing over at her. I pulled the blanket tighter around me.

She snorted. "You know what I'm talking about. He basically tells you he loves you, and you say  
"not right now." Seriously? You know he won't wait around forever. If you afraid of losing him, keep making him wait and you just might anyways."

I popped a piece of popcorn into my mouth, chewed thoughtfully. I never thought about that. Why was it so hard? I wanted to be with him, but something always held me back.

"See, you know I'm right," Leah snickered.

The front door opened, Sue walked through the door, two brown grocery bags in tow. "Hi girls," she called. "Wanna give me a hand with the groceries?"

Leah and I both got up, shuffling to the door to unload the van. "It's too cold for us to be out here lugging groceries," Leah complained.

"Yeah I know. Come on, let's get it over with."

We made two trips, carrying the overloaded brown paper bags into the kitchen.

"Thanks girls," Sue called as we set the last bags on the counter.

"You're welcome," I said.

"Yeah, now that we've missed the best part of the movie," Leah muttered throwing herself back down on the couch.

I snorted. "The mom did it," I told her.

She gaped at me. "How do you know that?"

"I read the book." I laughed, tucking the blanket around me.

Sue was humming in the kitchen as Leah and I watched the rest of The Tenth Circle. When it was over I rolled over, sticking my tongue out at her. "Told you so."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you read the book so it doesn't count."

The doorbell chimed softly. Leah and I lay there, waiting to see if someone else would answer it. It chimed again. I pushed myself off the couch and went to answer it.

A petite brunette was standing on the porch. I opened the storm door and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Hi, this is the Swan residence, correct?"

I nodded once.

"Okay. Is Charlie Swan here?"

"Yeah. Come in. I'll go get him."

I held the door open for the woman. She stepped into the foyer, the storm door slammed behind her. "I'll be right back."

"Bella, who's at the door?" Sue asked.

"Um, someone looking for Charlie."

"He's in his office."

"Okay." I climbed the stairs, two at a time. The door was open. Charlie and Seth were playing a game on the Xbox.

"There's a woman downstairs, she's here to talk to you," I told him.

He looked up, "What?"

Seth took advantage of his distraction and killed Charlie's character.

"Some lady downstairs. She asked to talk to you."

"Who is it?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I've never seen her before."

He heaved himself off the floor and followed me down the stairs. The woman was sitting on the loveseat, her coat in her lap. She stood when she saw Charlie. He stumbled on the step as he saw her. I turned to help him.

"You okay?" I asked. His face was pale as he stared at the woman on the loveseat.

"I'm fine," he said to me. He looked at the woman on the couch. "Esme," he said curtly. "What brings you to our neck of the woods?"

She, Esme, glanced at me, then back to Charlie. Sue leaned against the kitchen doorway staring at me. "I think it would be best if we discussed this in the kitchen," Sue said, her eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed hard. Something bad was about to happen and it had something to do with me. Leah sat up, intently watching the adults file into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"Hell if I know," I whispered back. "But I bet you ten bucks it's got something to do with me."

"Why?"

"Did you see they were all staring at me, like I was a bug in a jar? And they know each other, her and dad. It's something bad, I bet you anything."

"Let's find out." Leah got up and crept toward the dining room. "Are you coming?" she hissed after she turned and saw me standing in the middle of the living room.

"I'm not sure I want to know," I replied.

"Oh quit being a baby and come on."

I sighed, following behind her. The kitchen door was closed – it was never closed, heated voices rose and fell. As we crept closer, the voices became clearer.

"You can't just show up and expect me to lie down and let you take Bella!" Charlie roared.

Someone snorted softly. "Oh please Charlie. You'll lie down now, just like you did when she was child. It's what you do."

Who was this woman? I wondered.

"Esme you know that wasn't the case. You of all people know that's not the truth. As a matter of fact, isn't that the reason you haven't spoken to Renee for the last eleven years?"

The kitchen was silent for a beat, then Charlie said, "That's what I thought."

"Look," Esme said tiredly. "I'm her legal guardian now, so just let me take her back to Jacksonville where she belongs."

Wait, what? I didn't know this woman, and she thought she was taking me back to Jacksonville. I pushed open the kitchen door.

"I'm not going anywhere with you lady!" I exclaimed ignoring the shock on all three of their faces. "This is my home and this is where I'm staying. I don't know you, so you can go back to whatever rock you were hiding under, 'cause I'm not going anywhere!"

I turned on my heel, fleeing the kitchen. I grabbed my coat and bolted out the front door, running over the snowy yard heading towards Embry's house.

He must've seen me coming, he met me on the porch. "What's wrong?" he asked, his breath tiny white puffs floating in the air.

"Some woman just showed up at my house and was talking about taking me home, back to Jacksonville "where I belong."" I made the air parenthesis with my fingers. "I don't even know who the hell she is, and she's trying to take me away."

Embry wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

He rubbed my back. "I just do. Come on, let's go inside."

I followed him into the house. His mom was sitting on the couch, knitting something that looked like a pile of vomit. "Hello, Bella," she said, her knitting needles clicking away.

"Hi," I replied, following Embry down the hall to his room. He sat in his desk chair. I pulled off my coat and sat on the edge of his bed. He picked up his guitar, I had no idea he even played. He fingered the strings, they hummed melodically.

"I didn't know you could play," I said pointing at the guitar.

He nodded, turning the little silver things at the top. "I got it for Christmas. My last guitar was cheap, the neck broke and it costs a lot to get it fixed."

"Oh," I said softly, "That sucks. Do you write your own songs?" I already knew the answer. He nodded.

"Sometimes. They aren't very good, but it's something that passes the time."

"Would you play something for me?"

Looking down, he smiled as he ran his fingers over the guitar strings. "Depends."

"On what?" I asked.

"Go out with me. One date and if it's too weird I'll let it go and we can go back to being just friends," he replied.

Leah's warning ran though my mind. As much as I hated to admit it I knew she was right. "Fine," I said. "You might just have to settle for friends anyway if that woman gets her way."

He got up and came to sit down next to me. Setting his guitar on the bed, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "They can't make you go somewhere you don't want to go. You know that right?"

I sniffed away tears. I'd just started getting used to living here, made friends, fit in and now some evil wench was trying to take it all away from me. Again. "I'm not leaving," I said defiantly. "I don't care what anybody says. I'll live in my car if I have to."

Embry snorted. "I don't think it'll come to that."

"I'm just saying," I said defiantly.

"I know."

I sighed. Why couldn't life just be easy? Why did it have to be so damn difficult? All I wanted was to go to school, hang out with my friends and stuff like that. I didn't want to deal with some stupid "the girl belongs here, with me," power struggle between adults. It was my life why couldn't they just ask me what _I_ wanted.

"Anyway. You said you'd play something for me. So play."

Embry sighed. "Okay, but they aren't very good songs."

"It's okay," I told him, lying back on his bed staring at the ceiling. He had posters tacked to the ceiling; each one was a replica of a Mayday Parade cd cover. I wondered what the man with the red umbrella represented. He was on every cover. Beside me, Embry strummed the guitar self-consciously.

"Sing," I said, poking him in the ribs. He giggled, yes giggled, like a girl.

"I'm getting there," he said, a faint smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

I waited patiently as he strummed the guitar for a few more minutes before he started to sing. "I've lain awake at night in sighs, wondering if you ever realized all the words my mouth refused to say. I wonder if you know, I wonder if I say, if all these words…just got in the way. I've waited so long, to not feel so alone and now that you here, I just want you near. You look at me and smile, I have to wonder, wonder if you know."

I wiped the tears that were spilling down the sides of my face away.

"That wasn't supposed to be sad, why are you crying?"

"It was so sweet," I hiccupped.

"It was about you," he confessed which only made me cry harder.

"I kinda thought so. Leah's been campaigning for you, talking about how you're writing all these songs about me and stuff. I really don't want to lose you," I said picking at a hole in his jeans.

Embry pushed my hair off my forehead. He set the guitar down and lay down next to me. "You're not gonna lose me," he said softly.

I scooted across the bed, closer to him, rested my head on his chest. His heart beat, a quick thump, thump, thump, in his chest. "I'm scared," I whispered.

Embry rubbed my back not saying a word. "What am I gonna do if they make me go back to Jacksonville? I don't want to go. I want to stay here."

"I know you do. Do you really think Charlie – no wait, Sue, is going to let you go? That woman loves you like her own flesh and blood." He snorted indignantly. "Please. She'd probably kill the person who tried to take you away."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I love her though. She is totally cool and understanding. Charlie's not too bad either."

Embry laughed. "I remember when you first came here. You hated him- Charlie. It's funny how things change isn't it?"

There was a soft knock at the door. "Come in," Embry called.

Embry's mom poked her head in. "Bella, your dad called. He would like for you to come home."

"Okay."

She pulled the door shut as she left. I pushed up, gazing down at Embry. "Guess I better get going. They've probably decided my fate for me in my absence."

Embry rolled his eyes. "You'll be fine," he murmured, kissing my nose.

"We'll see." I pulled on my coat and opened the door. "Walk me to the door?"

He jumped off the bed. "Of course," he smiled and threw his arm over my shoulder.

Embry walked me to the door, standing there watching as I trekked across the frozen front lawn. I climbed the steps, carefully clinging to the railing. Charlie and Sue were sitting in the living room when I came in.

"So," I said as I hung up my coat. "What's my fate?"

"Come sit down," Sue said.

I walked across the room, sitting down on the sofa I glanced at the two of them, their faces cleverly concealing their decision.

"Alright I'm going to be perfectly honest. Esme wants to take you back to Jacksonville to live with her and her husband. We want you to stay here. I want you to meet with Esme, talk to her, and get to know her before you make your decision. We want you to know that whatever you decide we'll back you up a hundred percent, regardless if you want to stay here or go back home."

I took a deep breath. So they hadn't decided for me. "Okay, so like, you want me to talk to her or something?"

Sue nodded. "She wanted to have lunch with you on Saturday, we suggested Sunday because of art, but if you want to skip art that's fine-"

"No!" I exclaimed. "Art is our" I motioned Sue and myself, "thing. I'm not skipping art."

"Okay," Charlie said, "then you and I will go have lunch with her on Sunday. Alright?"

I nodded. "Alright."

* * *

Saturday the three of us piled into the van and headed to the rec center. Arthur had us do a piece based on regret. I couldn't think of anything I regretted. I mean there were a lot of things I regretted, like piercing my belly button the summer after my sophomore year. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but in the long run, not so much. Doing a painting on my belly button ring didn't seem very helpful. So I just drew instead. I'm sure locked away in my subconscious somewhere was something I regretted.

At the end of class I had a drawing of the man from the Mayday Parade cds. Leah asked me what it meant as the three of us walked back to the car.

"I have no idea," I said with a shrug. "What did you do?" I peered at Sue's painting. A pair of eyes peered back at me, haunting and mysterious. I shivered. The blue irises were so deep you could fall in and drown in them. "Whose eyes are those?" I asked.

A look of sorrow and remorse swept over Sue's face. "Someone I knew a long time ago. Someone I allowed into my life, someone with whom I had a relationship with; a relationship that was built out of lies and deceit. It is something that I regret everyday and hate myself for regretting."

"What happened?" I asked as I got into the van.

"I'll tell you over lunch," she promised.

Twenty minutes later we were waiting for our lunch at Hong Kong Harry's. Sue sipped her tea, settling herself into her chair. "My first year of college I had a relationship with one of my professors," she said launching into her tale.

Leah and I wrinkled our noses in disgust. "He was a younger man, in his mid-thirties. I thought he was intelligent and so much more mature than all the other boys at school. At first it was completely innocent, staying after class to help him grade papers of talk about Maslow, or Freud and all their grand ideas about people and how they behave. Things changed, and the relationship became physical. After seeing him for a few months he began to talk about marriage and all these grand plans. I was eighteen and so in love – or so I thought. Not six months later I got pregnant with you," she pointed at Leah, whose eyes were cloudy.

"What happened?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"Well, I told him, naturally."

"What did he say?" I knew something bad was coming. I could feel the anticipation in the air, so thick it could have been cut with a knife.

"He, what is it you kids say, freaked out. Told me that I had to have an abortion, he couldn't have a child because… are you ready for this?"

I nodded.

"His wife would fucking kill him."

I gasped. Partly because the professor was married, but more so because Sue, sweet, never say a curse word ever, Sue just said fuck. It would have been amusing if it weren't so tragic.

"That's bonkers," I said solemnly.

Sue nodded. "It is."

"What happened?"

"Well, I left school. Came back home. My parents were disappointed to say the least. They had all these grand plans for me and all their hopes were dashed in an instant. They asked me to consider an abortion. I didn't. I went ahead and had Leah, as you can see. I lived with my parents for a while, went to class at the community college, got my degree, met your father and have been living happily ever after since."

"He's a bastard," Leah spit.

I nodded sympathetically. "He didn't want to see you?"

She shook her head no, bang spilling into her face. "Said he didn't want anything to do with me, that I probably wasn't even his."

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "That sucks," I murmured.

"Tell me about it," she muttered.

"Wanna find out where he lives and egg his house?"

Leah snickered. "It'd be the least he deserved."

"He's dead now," Sue announced.

Both our heads jerked up at the same time. "He was drunk, coming home from work and his car stalled on the train tracks. Drug him twenty seven miles before it finally stopped."

"Wow, karma really is a bitch," I said.

"Language, please," Sue warned.

"Sorry," I apologized.

Our waitress came setting steaming plates of Chinese food down on the table. We thanked her and started eating. The spicy smell of the red chili pepper wafting up from the plate made my mouth water.

"So, are you going back to Jacksonville or staying here?" Leah asked as she speared a piece of chicken.

"I'm staying here," I snorted. "This is home now and I don't want to leave."

Sue smiled. "Well, at least promise that you'll hear Esme out."

"I'll listen to what she has to say, but my minds already made up."

And that's what I told Esme the following day.

"Please, Isabella-"

'It's Bella," Charlie and I said at the same time.

"Bella, your mother and father's will both stated they wanted you to live with me. I got a letter from your mom saying she wanted you to live with me in case anything ever happened to her or Phil."

"Look, Esme," I wiped my mouth and took a sip of my soda before continuing, "I understand what you're saying, but after the attorney couldn't get a hold of you, Charlie and Sue took me in. I've been here for almost five months. I've made friends, I have a boyfriend, I like my school and not to mention the family I have here. And you want me to just give it all up and go back to Jacksonville with you? I don't even know you, so instead of trying to convince me of your point, how about taking a look at mine."

"She has a point," Charlie said. His cell phone chirped. Reaching down, he pulled it off his belt. "I have to take this, I'll be back in a minute." He got up and left the restaurant.

"So, who are you, exactly?"

"I'm a friend of your moms," Esme said, flabbergasted.

"Really? It's kind of funny because I don't remember you. If you were my mom's friend I'd have some memory of you."

"Well, we- uh, we lost contact after the incident."

Now it was my turn to be stunned. "What incident?"

"The one with Charlie. We stopped talking after that. I didn't agree with the way your mother handled the situation. Not to mention everything else."

"Wait, what? Charlie told me what happened – how I got sick and he tried to put me in a cool bath and it made me go into shock. What's that got to do with my mom?"

"Bella, Charlie didn't tell you the whole story. After your mom got to the hospital and after you got better, she threatened to take Charlie to court, to have his privileges revoked because he was a danger to your health. She said if he didn't sign over his rights she would take you and run and he would never be able to find her, never be able to see you again."

"I don't understand. What Charlie did was an accident. He was just trying to help. Why'd my mom blow it all out of proportion like that?"

"It was messy; she'd been having an affair with Phil for a while. I don't think Charlie ever knew. She was trying to get Phil to adopt you so you'd be taken care of incase anything every happened. You wouldn't get a cent if Charlie refused to sign over his rights. I think it had to do with child support too, though your mom never said it. They, Phil and your mom, had a lot of problems back then. Your mom hated moving so much, they fought. Phil had an affair, she threatened to leave and take everything he had and he'd have to pay her child support since he adopted you. They worked everything out, obviously, but it was messy. I didn't agree with all the things your mom was doing – to Charlie, to Phil, to you.

"We had a huge fight and I told her I'd talk to her again when she got over her gold digging ways. We haven't spoken since then. My husband, Carlisle, is a doctor. He works for Doctors without Borders. We've been in Peru for the last six months, moving to different villages, treating different people so when the letter came it was a few months until I actually received it, that's why I'm showing up now. I'd like you to come back to Jacksonville with me, but if here is where you want to be then I won't force you to leave."

"What about the money?" I said.

"What money?"

"The money that my grandmother is paying Charlie and Sue, the "bribery" money she paid them to take me in?"

Esme shook her head. "No," she said. "There is no money. Your grandmother offered to pay them a sort of month support, what it would cost them to house you and things like that, but Charlie refused to take it."

"How do you know that?"

"The lawyer told me. He said that if you came to live with me I'd get a monthly stipend to put toward your care. I asked if Charlie got it, he said he was offered it, but refused to take it."

I took a long swallow of soda. My head was spinning with images of my mother I never thought possible. Charlie was walking back toward the table. I had such admiration for him, for not taking me in for the money, for lying to me. He didn't, wouldn't, smear the image I had of my mother, not for anything so he took the blame for all those years when the blame lay squarely on the shoulders of my mother.

I became dizzy, the images in my head swirling with the images before my eyes. "I need some air," I cried, lunging out of my seat. I darted past Charlie who stared after me dumbfounded.

Greedily, I sucked in great lungfuls of the frozen January air. Tears streamed down my face. My mother was not the person I thought she was. I thought she cared about me, loved me. But she didn't. She took my father away from me, replacing him instead with her picture perfect version of a dad. I loved Phil but he wasn't my father. I lost eleven years with my father. How could she have done that to me?

Hysterics shook my body as I sobbed into my hands. I sank onto a bench outside the restaurant, crying into my hands, the cold air invading my thin sweater. I shivered, my face soaked with salty tears.

I wiped my eyes. I was done crying, done living in the past. This was my life now, and it was up to me to take the reins and control it. I stood, pushing open the door to the restaurant I went back to the table. Charlie and Esme were talking about me as I approached them.

"I've made up my mind," I announced.

They both looked up at me, startled.

"Okay," Esme said.

"What's your decision?" Charlie asked.

Someone's heart was going to be broken by this decision, but it was the best choice for me. And it was time to start living for myself and no one else.

I sat down, glancing from Charlie to Esme, back to Charlie. I opened my mouth.

_Here goes nothing_, I thought.

**Reviews are better than a hot guy who writes songs for you (please excuse the lameness of those lyrics...I am sooo not a songwriter...lol) And please don't kill me for the cliffy...I'm sorry...well no I'm really not...but you'll forgive me!  
**

"Confessions" by Usher


	22. Never Gonna Be Alone

**A/N All Twilight character's belong to Stephenie Meyer **

Hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving...I'm really glad that so many of you have been accepting of the fact that Bella chose Embry...it didn't start out that way (in my head) but sometimes things change when you write..that was one of them..she was never supposed to end up with Embry, in fact she was supposed to date him and Jacob be her BFF...but as I started writing it, Embry sort of took over...(also a little bird said it might be kind of cool if she ended up with him). Huge thanks to my beta, ShelbySue, she's always so supportive and awesome. There's one more chapter after this (heads up). I'm working on a sequel...so...keep a look out for that once this is over. Now go read and leave me tons of comments! I heart you all for reading!

**Bella**

Esme and Charlie looked expectantly at me.

"Bella, the choice is up to you," Charlie reminded me.

I nodded once. I was seventeen, how could they put this on me? I stood, placing my hands on the edge of the table. I looked at both of them. "I want to go home," I said and turned to walk away.

"Bella!" Charlie called, rushing after me. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want to go home. I don't want to deal with this. I'm tired of having all this weight on my shoulders. I just want to be normal. I want to be a normal teenager who worries about normal teenage stuff."

"Bella, I – we, I thought – I don't understand," Charlie stammered. "I thought you were happy here."

I stared up at him, suddenly and utterly exhausted. "I want to go see Embry," I said, "Will you take me to his house, please?"

Charlie nodded. "If that's what you want," he said, defeat lacing his voice.

He went back inside the restaurant to tell Esme we were leaving. He pushed open the door, his shoulders sagging. I could only imagine what he was feeling.

I got into the car, slamming the door.

Charlie dropped me off at Embry's house, then drove down the street to our house. I climbed the steps and knocked on the door.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know. I need, like, a huge distraction. This whole "your mom was a gold digging adulterous whore" thing has really got me messed up. I just need a distraction."

"Wait, what? Your mom was a gold digging whore?" He took my hand and pulled me inside.

"It's a really long story," I sighed shutting the door behind me. "And I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore. I just want to be freaking normal!"

"Okay, well, um, how about we go see a movie?"

"No."

A movie wouldn't help, I'd be sitting in the dark theater thinking the same things I was thinking now.

"Punch Drunk Love is playing an all ages show across town, wanna go?"

"Yes!" That was exactly the kind of distraction I needed. Loud music, lots of people, no time to think.

"We can see if your sister and Jake want to come too," Embry offered.

"Yeah if you want. I don't really care."

We went to his room. I flung myself across his bed, staring up at the posters on the ceiling. "I really want to know what the hell the point of the man with the umbrella is," I muttered.

Embry hung up the phone and glanced at me. "What?"

"I said I want to know what the point is."

"The point of what?" he asked, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"The man with the red umbrella. I drew him yesterday in therapy. What's the point?"

Embry shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe there is no point."

"Well that's just dumb," I muttered.

"What was the topic? What were you supposed to be drawing?" Embry asked, lying down beside me.

"Regret. I regret lots of things, but nothing really like huge, you know."

"Maybe you regret not going out with me sooner. I mean, I am a huge Mayday Parade fan."

I snorted. "You think so?"

"It makes sense."

It did, now that I thought about it. "Well I'm going out with you now."

"Yeah. So, can I ask about what happened at lunch with Esme?"

"You mean what was my decision, right?"

He laid there for a while not saying anything. Finally, he took my hand in his intertwining his fingers with mine. "Yes, that's what I meant."

"I didn't give her an answer. I just left. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but really, how can I make a decision like that in a few minutes? I can't. I need to weigh the pros and cons of staying here or going back to Jacksonville. I think Charlie might have mistaken what I meant. I told him I wanted to go home, but I meant leave the restaurant, not back to Jacksonville."

"So you're contemplating going back to Florida then?"

"I don't really know," I said honestly and it was the truth. I didn't know what I was going to do. Each place had its perks, benefits to living there. Part of me was jumping at the bit to go back to Florida, then another part of me was reliving the week I'd spent there and how I couldn't wait to come back here.

"Well, if it helps any, I'd like you to stay. And I'm pretty sure your family wants you to stay too."

"I know. I just need to figure out what's best for me, you know."

Embry slid his hand out of mine and stood. "Here is where you belong. This is what's best for you," he said angrily. "What's it gonna take for you to see that, huh Bella? Think of who is gonna be hurt the most if you leave? This decision affects more people than just you."

"So you want me to stay because it's going to hurt everyone else?"

"I just want you to look at the bigger picture," he said wearily.

"And I'm trying to, you dummy. I'm trying to."

"I know. We gotta go get Jake and Leah. You wanna grab a bite to eat before the show?"

I nodded, following him out to his car. We picked up Leah and Jake, got something to eat, then headed to show. The parking lot was crowded when we got there, Embry parked on the grass along the road. "I hope I don't get a ticket," he said, glancing over his shoulder as we crossed the parking lot.

Four cars pulled up behind his, each one shutting off their engines, the passengers got and headed toward the club.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," I said as we got to the door.

Embry and Jake paid for the tickets. "Come on," he said as he threw his arm over my shoulder. The familiar action was so comfortable. I wondered what would happened if I left and went back to Jacksonville, who would be my Embry then?

The sudden realization that, if I did go back to Florida, I would be all alone again. Esme said her husband was a doctor who worked in foreign places. Would she leave me alone and go with him? Rosalie and I hadn't talked since she dropped me off at the airport and all my other friends in Florida, well I hadn't talked to them since I left the first time.

"You okay?" Embry asked as we walked inside.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. I'm fine."

We lost track of Leah and Jake as we walked in the door. "I guess it's just you and me," I said to him.

"Well you did say you'd go out with me."

"Ah, I did," I agreed. "So, now that I've gone out with you will I get to hear more of your songs?"

Embry tilted his head to the side and scratched his chin. "I don't know. If I play you another, you'll have to go out with me again."

"Really? That's it, I just have to go out with you?"

He nodded. "Well, that and you'd have to stay here. You can't go out with me if you're not here," he said slyly.

I laughed. "You're so slick."

The band came on, yelling something about being happy to be here, then jumped right into their first song. I let myself get lost in the music, forgetting about everything else that had happened the last few days. I was just going to be seventeen and happy. Tonight nothing else mattered.

Embry and I stood by the wall, listening and singing along to songs we knew, which were most. The band was just a group of local kids who did covers of songs by bands like All Time Low, Dashboard Confessional, Fall Out Boy, stuff like that.

The last song they played was a cover of Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback. I leaned back into Embry's chest as he sang the song into my ear.

"Your never gonna be alone, from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall, your never gonna be alone, I'll hold you till the hurt is gone."

He stopped singing, grabbing my waist he turned me around until I was facing him. "This is how I feel about you Bella. Everything he says in this song is everything I feel about you. I would be the one to carry you when you felt like you couldn't go on, I'd be anything you wanted me to be, as long as it meant being able to be there for you. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. If you ever need me all you have to do is call and I'll be there."

Tears spilled down my face. He wiped them away with his thumb. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm happy," I said softly, "I'm lucky to have you in my life. I really don't know what I would have ever done without you."

"You would've been stuck with Jake," he laughed.

"That would have sucked," I replied.

"Why's that?"

"Because, you're so much better at this than Jake is," I stood on my tip toes and kissed him. These Forks boys were tall. Must be something in the water. Embry wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him.

Never gonna be alone, from this moment on. And suddenly, I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

* * *

Monday morning Charlie and Sue were drinking coffee in the kitchen when I came down for breakfast.

"Morning," I said opening the cabinet. My fingers closed around the cool ceramic. I pulled it out and set it on the counter. I turned, opening another cabinet, trying to decide which cereal I wanted.

"Bella," Charlie began, "I know you just had a bombshell dropped on you the other day, but you need to make a decision. Esme can't stay in town forever. I'm not trying to rush you, but you have to make your choice soon."

"I know," I told him as I poured cereal into my bowl. I closed the cereal and shoved the box back into the cabinet, turning to face Charlie. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly.

He set his coffee cup down, shrugging. "That was your mother, Bella. It wasn't my place to go changing who she was in your memory. Part of what happened was my fault, I was the catalyst that set the whole series of events into motion, I had to take blame for my part in all of that."

He was rambling, I stared at him. "She took you away from me," I said, tears welling up in my eyes. "I never had a chance to know you because she took you away from me. How do I deal with that? How is that ever going to be okay? The memory of who my mother was, the way she was, is gone now. I don't even know her anymore. She was a monster. A vicious, evil, manipulative monster."

"Bella," Charlie said softly, "Don't say that. You can never really know a person. Your mom might have been like that in the past, but I'm sure she changed… that she wasn't like that anymore."

I shrugged. "Guess I'll never know, huh?"

"No, I guess not," Charlie replied. "But all that's in the past. You can't live in the past. You gotta put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Understand?"

I tried to take Charlie's advice, to put one foot in front of the other, but it was easier said than done. Esme's story about my mom floated through my head for a few days. I couldn't shake the images that came along with the story so I did the only thing I could think of. I went to Sue.

She was crocheting when I sat down next to her. I picked up the skein of yarn, rolling it in my hands as she pulled it. We sat there in silence for a while, her pulling on the yarn, wrapping it around the blue metal hook and making little loops and squares.

"What do you do when the way you remember someone is irrevocably changed forever?" I asked softly.

Sue set the crocheted square down in her lap and turned to me. "I take it you know the truth about why Charlie gave you up."

I nodded. "Esme told me and now all I can see is this bitter, vindictive woman running around wrecking lives. I don't want to remember my mom that way. I mean she was always a little on the crazy side; always doing things for no apparent reason, but I figured that was just the way she was. Now to find out there was this whole other side to her…well, I just don't know what to do with it."

"After Leah was born I called Ben, her father, to tell him he had a daughter. He was vicious and cruel to me on the phone. Before all that happened he was the nicest man, kind and patient then when things changed he changed as well. At first it was hard to understand, but after a while you learn to accept that side of people. You can choose to remember your mother the way she was or the way Esme told you she was. My advice is that you remember what you saw and what you remember. You didn't know this alternative side of your mother and for all we know it might not even be true. Remember what you've always known and you'll be fine."

I thanked her and went upstairs. I had a tough choice to make and a lot of things to think about.

**Reviews are better than...well finding out your mom was a skank...**

"Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback


	23. Lost Get Found

**A/N SM owns the Twilight characters...she's the great and powerful Oz...I'm the weenie behind the curtain.**

Okay..starters..Kiki I'm posting this late so that you are not missing classes...lol...well hopefully...big, huge thanks to ShelbySue...she rocks...I highly suggest everyone who writes gets a beta as gnarly as her. Because I'm nice, keep reading at the end of the chapter for the first chapter of the new fic (warning it has not been beta'd so..excuse the possible typos and horribly grammar). I sent the first few chapters of that off this afternoon, so it should be up with in the next week or two...again...thank you all for reading and being so supportive through everything...I appreciate you guys reading. :)

**Bella**

It took me four days to make my decision. I went to Charlie once I made it. He called Esme and set up the meeting. We met with her after school the next day.

The coffee shop was quiet that afternoon, the delectable aroma of brewed coffee hung in the air, hints of caramel and hazel nut punctuating the atmosphere. I sipped my latte, collecting my thoughts once more before I finally spoke.

"Okay, first I want you both to know that I've taken into consideration everything I know, everything I've heard and I made my decision based on what I know and feel right now."

Charlie and Esme both nodded.

"I don't think it's fair that I'm even being asked to make this choice, but whatever, its life." I turned to face Esme. "You seem like a nice enough person and all that, but this place is my home now. I want to stay here. I'm sorry."

Esme nodded. "I figured that would be your choice. I just thought you might be unhappy here and would want to know that you had an alternative."

"And I appreciate that, but I'm happy here." I turned to Charlie. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go home now."

He nodded. "Okay Bella, let's go. Goodbye Esme."

"Bye Charlie. Nice to see you again, Bella."

I waved curtly and walked out of the restaurant. The ride home was quiet. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked softly as he pulled into the driveway.

I nodded, pushing open the car door. Lost in thought, I walked up the steps and entered the house. Waiting in the living room were Sue, Seth, Leah, Jake and Embry. They all looked up expectantly as I shut the front door.

I went and sat down next to Embry. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me towards his side. "What happened?" he asked.

I gazed up at him. He must have seen the answer in my eyes, he exhaled loudly, the breath rushing from his lips like a strong gust of wind, his shoulders sagged in relief.

"I'm staying here," I said.

A collective sigh went up. "Thank god," Sue murmured.

"I know, right," Leah grinned. "'Cause like, Bella it would totally suck if you had to leave. Well maybe not. There wouldn't be anyone around to spoil all the movies I watch."

I rolled my eyes at her. "It's not so bad here," I said. "Not anymore, at least."

Embry hugged me. "I'm so glad you stayed," he said into my ear.

"I stayed because of you," I whispered back.

"Really?"

"Mhmm. I stayed for other reasons too, but mostly it was because of you."

"Wow, I'm flattered," he chuckled.

"You should be," I retorted.

My other reasons were simple. I found a new family who fully accepted me and my many flaws and still loved me regardless. At the end of the day the answer was obvious. This was where I belonged.

The months passed each one better than the last. Embry wrote me songs, I went to art therapy, and in April, Embry asked me to go to the prom with him. I said yes without a moment's hesitation.

* * *

The last six months flew by. One night I went to bed and it was January and then I woke up in mid-May. Okay, not really, but that's how it felt.

So many things changed while so many things stayed the same. How does that happen? I wondered. How can something drastically change and yet stay the same. Like myself. I looked in the dressing room mirror. I looked the same as I did when I moved here. Well, my hair was longer and I grew my bangs out, but other than that I looked the same, I felt the same but I'd gone through so much and made it out on the other side relatively unscathed.

"Girls, someone, anyone, show me something," Sue called from outside the dressing room.

I glanced down at the dress, disgusted. "This is – ugh, I hate this dress," I complained, staring in the mirror.

"Well let me see," Sue retorted.

I opened the door and stepped out, self-consciously aware of how bad the dress looked. Leah's door popped open; her head appeared around the side of it. She took one look at the dress and wrinkled her nose.

"If you hate it so much why did you even put it on?" she asked.

"Uh, because it looked good on the hanger," I said sarcastically.

"On you, not so much," she retorted.

"Thank you captain obvious."

Sue laughed from her post outside the dressing room. "I think it looks fine," she told me.

_I think you need your eyes checked_, I thought, heading back into the dressing room. Prom was in a few weeks, well Junior Prom, and I was about two seconds away from wearing a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt.

"These dresses suck," I called. I looked at the two remaining dresses hanging on the door. One was hideous, blue and sheer. It looked like something from a Bollywood style horror movie. I moved it to the hook mounted to the opposite wall and looked at the last remaining dress. It was long and silky, a soft champagne color, thin straps crisscrossing across the back, dipping down into a low 'v' at the small of the back. I fingered the diamond shaped beading on the front of the dress.

Oh what the hell, I thought, pulling it off the hangar. The silk was cool against my skin as I stepped into the dress. It took a bit of clever wiggling to get my arms in and not destroy the delicate material.

"Bella?" Sue called. "Come out and let me see one."

"Just a second," I called back.

"Mom!" Leah exclaimed, "I _love_ this dress!"

Sue groaned, mumbling something about leopard printed prom dresses.

I stifled a giggle as I opened the dressing room door. "Oh my freaking god what in the hell are you wearing?!"I exclaimed.

Leah whirled around, tripping on the tulle covered skirt. "What's wrong with it?" she asked smoothing the dress.

"Um, well, for starters your boobs are covered in about ten pounds of glitter, and the dress looks like it was once the hide of an obese cheetah. But the black strap there in the middle makes you look super skinny, so that's a good thing."

Leah looked on the verge of tears. I rushed to her side. "I really liked this one," she wailed.

"So get it then. Who cares what we think. If you like it, then, well good for you. Why worry about what anyone else thinks."

"You're such a hypocrite," she sobbed.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one wearing a cheetah print prom dress now am I?"

Leah rolled her eyes, wiping away the tears. "This is the one I want," she said defiantly. Her lower lip poked out as she turned to face Sue. "Mom this is the one I like. Can I pleeease get it?"

Sue sighed. "I don't see why not, if it makes you happy." She turned to me as I looked in the three way mirror. "Now that is the perfect dress for you."

"You think so?" I asked as I turned to look at the back.

"That dress is gorgeous, Bella," Leah said from behind the dressing room door. I wish I could wear something like that."

I turned the other way, admiring the way the dress floated around my ankles. "I think this is the one I want," I said. Closing my eyes I tried to envision prom night, dancing with Embry as the end of junior year of high school drew to a close. Yes, this was the dress I wanted. I'd probably freeze, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

I changed quickly sliding the strappy dress back onto the hanger. Sue and Leah were waiting for me when I exited the dressing room.

"Let's pay for those dresses and head home," she said, whipping out her credit card. "And please, whatever you do, don't let your father see those dresses, especially yours Bella. He'll probably have a heart attack."

"Hey mom, can you stop by the video store on the way home?"

"Ooh yeah, can you?"

Sue laughed. "What movie is it and what's the bet?"

I looked at Leah. "You want to tell her or should I?"

"Ugh, you can't possibly be right. Tell her."

"Okay, so there's this movie about a crazy girl who's mom dies and she goes all mental then comes home and thinks that her stepmom is this evil killer who killed these other people, and her and her sister and trying to get to the bottom of the mystery-"

"And I say the stepmom is an evil killer-"

"And I say the girl is just nuts. So we need to watch it to find out who's right."

Sue laughed. "What is it with the two of you?"

Leah and I shrugged. "It's just fun," she said.

"Yeah. It also doesn't hurt that I'm usually right."

"Only because you read the book and stuff and then cheat," Leah protested.

I rolled my eyes. "Read a book once in a while then," I retorted.

"Hmm, good point, I guess."

Sue snorted. "Fine, I'll stop at the video store, but I don't want to hear it when Bella's right. Again."

* * *

I stared in the mirror, smoothing the front of the prom dress nervously. I turned, glancing at the clock on the dresser, Embry would be here in a few minutes. I crossed the room, picking up a bottle of perfume and spritzed some on my wrists.

"Bella! He's here!"

I set the bottle of perfume down and took one last glance in the mirror before rushing down the stairs. Embry stood in the middle of the living room. To his left stood Jake. Both boys dressed in black tuxedos. Embry held a clear box in his hand, a corsage of yellow roses nestled inside the white tissue paper.

He smiled up at me as I came down the stairs. "You look gorgeous," he said, taking my hand.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Bella, you and Embry go stand over there," Sue pointed across the living room. Embry and I went to stand in front of the window. "Okay now smile," she directed.

Embry wrapped his arm around me and smiled at the camera. "Bella, smile."

I smiled as Sue snapped yet another picture. "Okay," Charlie said, taking the camera from Sue. "Let the kids go to their prom."

I smiled, leaving Embry's side to hug him. "Thank you Dad."

"You guys be careful. No drinking and driving. Hell no drinking period, understand?"

All four of us, Embry, Jake, Leah and I nodded our heads. "Now let's go!"

We filed out of the house and piled into the waiting limo.

"Leah, that is a really interesting dress," Embry said.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Oh thanks," Leah said, smoothing her dress.

I poked Embry. "Knock it off," I hissed.

He smiled at me. "I'm not doing anything," he said innocently.

The limo crossed town, Leah leaned over and turned the radio up. "Tonight is gonna rock so hard!" she yelled over the music.

"Who's gonna be king and queen?" I asked her.

Leah shook her head, her dark brown curls bobbed back and forth. "No way, Bella. I'm not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole."

I laughed. "Okay. But really, I have no idea."

The limo pulled into the school parking lot, stopping the doors to the gym. The door opened, late afternoon sunlight filled the backseat. Jake slid out, then leaned down reaching for Leah's hand. She climbed out, Embry following behind her.

He bent down, offering me his hand. "The prom awaits, my dear."

I laughed. "You're so silly."

He kissed me softly. "I'm so glad you stayed," he whispered into my ear.

Embry never said it, but I think there was a part of him that thought I was going to be going back to Florida with Esme. For a while he would just look at me like he couldn't believe I was still here.

The gym was decorated like a scene right out of a fairy tale. This year's theme was "Once upon a Dream." It made me think about that scene from Sleeping Beauty where she was singing and dancing in the woods.

"It's so pretty," Leah gushed.

It was. There were trees, borrowed from the theater, set up in the corners of the gym. Green crepe paper cross-crossed the ceiling, like a canopy of leaves. Strings of clear Christmas lights twinkled softly in the crepe paper. The whole thing had a magical feel to it.

"Come on, let's dance," I grabbed Embry by the arm, dragging him onto the dance floor.

"Aw, do we really have to dance?" he complained.

"Yes. Now come on."

We stepped onto the makeshift dance floor. He took my hand and spun me around; my dress flitted out, swirling around my ankles.

"If I said I loved you, would it freak you out?" he asked pulling me towards him.

My heart caught in my chest. "I, um, I would ask you if you really meant it," I replied.

"What if I said I did?"

"What if I said it back?" I retorted.

"Would you?"

I shrugged. "I might. Or I might just beat you to it and tell you I love you first."

A new song started. More people filed to the dance floor, swaying along to the music.

"I like this song," Embry muttered, pulling me closer.

"Yeah, me too." I stared up at him as Britt Nicole crooned about how the lost get found.

"It's pretty fitting." He smiled at me, lifting his hand to brush my hair from my face, his fingers lingering against my cheek. "You were lost, but I found you."

Any response I had was lost when his lips found mine. And suddenly, I realized he was right. Perfectly right. I was lost, and he found me.

"I love you," I murmured against his lips.

He pulled back, looking down at me. Even if he never said it, I could see everything he felt lingering just under the surface of his hazel eyes. "I love you too Bella and I always will."

"Love came to show us the way, love is a chance we should take, I'm movin' out of the way…that's how the lost get found. The lost get found."

**Reviews are better than getting your happy ending. Check below for the first chapter of the new fic (and Disenchanted sequel) Full Circle. Let me know what you think so far!**

The Lost Get Found by Britt Nicole

**Full Circle**

Part One

Childish

"I'm so childish, a little bit wildish, with my rum-diddly-um-diddly-um-diddly, I'm so deep"

Perfection is so overrated. You can find perfection in the words of a song, on a night spent on the beach.

Perfect is a mirage in the middle of this dry and boring life.

Perfect is a childish reaction that only a child can find.

My life, at this moment was far from perfect. Or at least that's what a stranger would say.

It was perfect and I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Chapter One

"Jacksonville"

Bella

Miles and miles of lush green landscape rushed by the car windows as Embry sped through the night. Well, at least I thought it was lush and green. It was hard to see anything in the inky darkness. I leaned my head against the air conditioned window, clutching my stomach.

For the last day and a half I'd consumed more cheetos than any one person should ever _think_ about consuming, let alone actually doing. I groaned as my stomach clenched. I felt like I was going to hurl.

Embry glanced over at me, his features alien-like in the green glow of the dash. "You okay, babe?" he asked, one eye on the road ahead, one eye on me.

"No," I groaned. "I need real food, and sleep. This shit," I motioned toward the back seat of the Ram his mother bought him as a graduation gift. It was littered with empty chip bags and crushed soda cans, "is killing me."

"Can we at least make it to Missoula before I pull over for the night?"

I glared at him. "Would you like me to yack all over your new car?"

He grimaced, "No. The next time I see a sign for a hotel I pull off, okay?"

"Fine." I wrapped my arms tighter around my stomach and closed my eyes, the window glass cool against my forehead.

It was a stupid decision to drive all the way to Florida. I thought it would be fun, stopping at all the geeky little tourist traps along the way, a last hurrah before starting college next week. Embry thought differently. It was like he was in a race against time, trying to get to Florida as soon as he possibly could.

My chest, my heart in particular, ached whenever I thought about it. Once we got to Florida we would be apart – him in Gainesville and the University of Florida and me in Jacksonville at the University of North Florida.

I had applied to three schools in Florida, University of Florida, Florida State and UNF. Guess which one I didn't get accepted to? If you guessed UF, you'd be right. Thinking back though, two out of three isn't bad.

I cried about it for a week before I'd chosen to go to UNF; it was closer to UF than FSU was. Embry and I spent the summer together. He wrote me music; I tried to con him into having sex with me before we left for college.

It never worked. He kept saying things like, "I want to make it special for you," or "We're too young, let's wait a little longer." It was stupid and we both knew it; but I accepted it. I guess there was more to a relationship than just sex.

I snorted softly, lost inside my own head. More than just sex. Tell that to my rampant teenage hormones. He thought simply being able to get me off would keep me satisfied. We both knew it wouldn't be long until he gave in and gave me what I wanted. I could see it in his eyes every time he – The truck turned sharply. I glared at Embry. "What are you doing?" I hollered.

"I almost missed the exit," he said sheepishly.

"Oh." I leaned my head against the window as we rounded the bend. "Where are we?"

"We just crossed the border. Welcome to Montana."

He pulled up at a Super 8 that looked brand new and parked the truck. I opened the door and stepped out into the still summer night. A semi- rushed by, the loud rumble faded away and the crickets resumed their summer song. I slammed the door and followed Embry to the main office.

The night clerk lazily took our information, slid a key across the desk then turned back to a Family Guy re-run.

"Come on," Embry said, his arm around my waist, "Let's get you to bed."

He unlocked the door to our room and pushed it open. I shivered, staring into the dark room. Basements and hotel rooms, I hated them both. I stood on the sidewalk, letting Embry go in before me. He turned the lights on, checked the bathroom then turned to look at me. "All clear," he called.

I crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me. My eyes drifted across the room. The sight of the neatly made bed was like a mirage of water and women in the dessert. Sleepily I drifted toward it, collapsing on top of the covers fully dressed.

"Bella, put some night clothes on," Embry urged.

"I don't want to. I want to sleep, right now. Night clothes be damned," I muttered into the mattress. Embry laughed as he sat down next to me. The mattress sank under his weight. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"You want me to go get you something to eat?"

I shook my head no. "I just wanna sleep."

"Okay, well at least scoot up; put your head on the pillow."

I scooted up toward the top of the bed, my head sinking into the soft pillow. "Happy?" I muttered.

"Yes," he whispered, his lips grazing my forehead. "I love you. Sleep well."

I closed my eyes. The lamp beside my head clicked twice. "I love you too," I murmured as sleep washed over me.

Embry was awake when I woke up the next morning. "Good morning," he said as I sat up.

I yawned, raising my arms high above my head, inhaling deeply. Something smelled delicious. My mouth watered as I looked around. Sitting on the table by the window was a brown paper bag. "Morning," I replied, eyeing the bag. "What's that?" I asked, pointing at it.

"Breakfast, if you want it," he replied through a mouthful of food.

I climbed out of bed, snagging the brown paper bag. Unfolding the top the smell of hash browns, sausage and egg wafted out. I reached in and pulled out the world's fattest breakfast burrito. Taking a bite I closed my eyes, relishing the taste of something other than cheetos and mountain dew.

"We're gonna head out in about two hours, okay?"

"Are we gonna drive until we get to Florida or are we going to take our time?"

"Bella, I kinda want to get there, you know. Get settled in; learn my way around, all that stuff."

"Oh," I said trying to hide the sadness in my voice. I took another bite of my burrito, chewed then swallowed hard. It got caught in my throat on the way down. I swallowed again, feeling the lump of burrito slowly slide its way down my throat.

I don't know what I expected when we set out on this journey. Maybe I had some romantic notion that we would take the trip and have fun. I sighed and finished the last of my breakfast.

We left the hotel after I'd had the chance to take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I sat in the passenger side of the truck, watching the trees rush by.

We stopped again that night; it was late when Embry pulled up to the hotel. I was half asleep and trudged to the room, Embry trailing just behind me. I was too tired to look for killers hiding in the bathroom. I changed quickly and fell into bed, exhausted.

It was right back to the road the next morning. I sat there staring out the window as the radio stations faded to static every few miles.

_The great American road trip, _I thought sarcastically_, how awesome. Nothing but trees as far as the eye can see_. I dozed off somewhere between Nashville and Atlanta. When I woke up the sun was shining brightly overhead, we whizzed by other cars, up ahead a sign flashed by welcoming us to Tybee Island.

_Tybee Island?_ I thought. _Where the hell are we?_

"Um, where are we?"I asked.

"You'll see," Embry replied cryptically.

"Uh, okay." I leaned around the seat, digging around in the cooler for something to drink. I plunged my hand into the ice, digging around for a soda. My fingers closed around the cold can and I pulled it out.

I popped the top and took a long swallow. "You're really not going to tell me where we're going?"

"No. All I'm gonna tell you is that you're getting what you asked for. You wanted us to take our time, have fun getting to Florida, so wish granted. We still have like, a week and a half before classes start. We have time to have fun."

Four hours later, he pulled the truck into a parking lot of a hotel. "Come on," he said as he got out.

"What is going on?"

"We're spending the next two days on the beach, relaxing."

I ran around the front of the truck and hugged him. "I love you, I love you, I love you," I squealed.

"Will you still love me even if this is the shittiest hotel we've stayed in thus far?"

I looked up at him, at those hazel eyes that made me all mushy inside. "I wouldn't care if we had to sleep in the truck," I told him. "I just want to be with you."

We spent four days on Tybee Island. On our last night in Georgia a huge storm came in off the ocean. I opened the French doors to watch the ocean rage and crash against the shore.

I stood there, gripping the edges of the door watching nature's fury. Embry came to stand behind me; his hands warm on my bare waist. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded and leaned back into his chest. He'd recently started working out more; his chest was well defined and chiseled, hard against my back.

"Do we really need to leave tomorrow? Can't we just stop time, freeze this moment and stay here forever?" I said softly.

"I wish we could. It would be nice, wouldn't it? To just hole up here forever and act like nothing else exists?"

I sighed. It would be nice. "I'm scared," I whispered.

"Of what?"

"Em, seriously? Do you know how many couples go off to college and think that they're gonna be the one couple that makes it? We're no different. We think that we're going to make it because we're only going to be an hour and a half apart. I'm just scared that we won't make it; that it's going to be too far or just too much for us to handle."

"It'll be fine. It always has been. I mean look at us, look at everything we've already been through and we've still made it out on the other side relatively unscathed. You think that this, that college, is gonna be the thing to break us? I don't think so."

He had a point. Then again, he always did. I survived my mother being murdered, my step-father being paralyzed then committing suicide, a crazy step-sister, learning the truth about who my mother really was, among countless other things and I made it out of it all, alive.

"You're right," I finally admitted. "We can do this."

A jagged bolt of lightning split open the sky, striking the sand. I scream and jumped back out of the doorway.

Embry chuckled behind me. "Bella, relax, it's just lightening. We should go down to where it struck; I bet you it turned the sand to glass. Come on." He tugged on my hand, pulling me out into the stormy night.

Rain pelted my skin, fat, cool drops pasting my hair to my scalp. I ran, following Embry in the direction of the lightening strike. He stopped, coming to a complete halt in the middle of the sand. I crashed into his back and fell into the sand.

He turned to look at me, smiling, his white teeth glowing in the darkness. Thunder rumbled overhead. "Did you find it?" I asked.

He reached for my hand, pulling me up. I dusted the sand off the back of my shorts and peered around him. I was expecting a glass sculpture or something like the things from _Sweet Home Alabama. _Instead it was just a chunk of sand fused together.

"Okay, we need to get off the beach before one of us gets struck by lightning," I said, grabbing his arm.

"Hang on, let me grab it."

"Embry, it's probably hot. You'll burn yourself," I protested.

He stood and pulled off his tee-shirt. Throwing it on the ground, he used a large piece of driftwood and pushed the fulgurites onto his tee-shirt. "There," he said proudly picking up the edges of the shirt, cradling the rock like a baby in a sack. "Got it. Now let's go."

We ran through the rain back to our hotel room. I made it through the door first. I stood there waiting for Embry, all the while dripping rain onto the hideous maroon and gold swirled carpet. He ran, shirtless and soaking wet, through the French doors. My heart skipped a beat as he stood there clutching his tee shirt.

My mind wandered momentarily. I could see him grab me by the arms and throw me on the bed, languidly removing one article of clothing at a time; could feel his fingers sensually caressing me. I shivered, desire coursing through me.

"Bella?" Embry crossed the room and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me. "Bella, are you okay?"

I blinked, coming out of my daydream. "Hmm?" I blinked again, forcing away the images of wet bodies intertwined, writhing in pleasure and –

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry," I apologized. _Focus, _I ordered myself.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm, um, I – uh." Jesus Christ, why couldn't I just tell him what I wanted? I sighed. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I'm gonna change; get ready for bed, you know?"

I turned to walk away when Embry caught my wrist. He spun me around, pulling me towards him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. His fevered skin warmed mine. He slid his hands under the damp cotton tank top and pulled it up over my head.

I looked up at him as he threw my shirt across the room. "What are we doing?" I murmured against his chest.

"Whatever you want," he said softly.

"I don't want to force you to do something you're not ready to do," I said.

"You're not," he replied.

"Embry-"

"I think I need it too," he said.

He picked me up; I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bed. My heart pounded as he sat me down. I gazed up at him as I fell back into the plush pillow top.

I'd been begging him for this for a while now, and now that we were here I wasn't sure I could go through with it. I lay there, staring at the ceiling as he kissed a trail around my belly button.

I think he sensed my reluctance as he unzipped my shorts, pulling them down slowly. Embry dropped them to the floor; they fell with an audibly wet plopping sound.

"We don't have to do this," he murmured against my thigh, his lips soft and warm as they moved across my skin.

I lay there, frustrated and scared. I heard the other girls at school saying it hurt like hell, and other girls said they didn't feel a thing; then again the guys they screwed had small dicks. I was leaning toward the "its gonna hurt like hell" side of the scale. Embry was well, gifted and we'll just leave it at that.

"I want to," I told him, propping myself up on my elbows and looking at him. Outside, the storm intensified, lights flickered and the windows shook in their panes as another clap of thunder boomed across the sky.

I sat all the way up and grabbed Embry's face. "I want to do this," I said convincingly. Doubt flickered in his eyes, flashing over it disappeared quickly.

"Okay, hang on for a second. If we're going to do this we should at least responsible about it." He quickly crossed the room and unzipped his shower bag. At least he had common sense. He came back carrying a small foil square.

I watched as he tore it open and rolled it down then length of him. "All set," he grinned.

I rolled onto my knees and pulled him toward me, shoving my hands into his hair I kissed him.

Embry wrapped his arms around my waist, mashing our bodies together. I could feel his heart; it was beating just as fast as mine.

He grabbed the tie of my bathing suit bottom and tugged either side simultaneously. The skimpy scrap of fabric fell away then he went for the top. The straps dangled against my skin, the top sandwiched between our bodies.

With arms like steel bands across my back, he lowered me to the bed. He gazed down at me, eyes so full of love. "I hear this hurts," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Slowly he entered me. I cried out at the searing pain. It felt like someone shoved a white hot iron up inside me.

"Want me to stop?" he asked, concern laced his voice.

I shook my head no and gritted my teeth. He pushed in a little further. I grimaced as the pain intensified. What the hell was this shit? Where were all the cheesy porno faces and little mewling sounds in the back of your throat? Jesus freaking Christ!

Progress came at a snail's pace, he'd push in a little further, and I'd grit my teeth and take it. This was not glamorous or even fucking fun.

Embry exhaled once he was fully inside. I wanted to look up at him and ask what next, but apparently he'd seen more porn than me, so he knew what to do. I laid there waiting for the pain to stop.

It was over in a matter of minutes, I guess that's what they meant by a one minute man. I didn't care. Sex was overrated. Seriously over-rated. Embry collapsed beside me. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

"It's okay," I said, rolling over I laid my head on his chest. His heart was racing. I closed my eyes. "Is it always going to feel like that?" I asked.

Embry grunted. "I dunno. I don't think so. I think the more you do it, the less it hurts, you know. Look at all the movies and TV and shit. They seem to enjoy it, so it can't always be that bad."

"Well it obviously wasn't bad for you," I muttered.

"No, Bella, it was fantastic. I willingly put you in pain and it was a blast," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry," I said. "Wanna do it again."

He laughed, my head bounced up and down. "I think we should get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow night."

* * *

We stayed in Georgia for another day then continued our trip to Florida. We arrived the Saturday before school started.

As we entered the city I directed him to the apartment I was going to be sharing with Rosalie. We'd been best friends in high school, before my parents died, before I moved. We drifted apart for a while, but then came back together towards the end of my senior year of high school. She'd been accepted to UNF as well and we decided living together would be awesome – not to mention cheaper than living in the dorms.

Embry turned into the apartment complex and let out a whistle. "Fancy duds," he grinned.

I looked around. It was a nice complex. I just hoped it was safe. He parked the truck in front of the apartment that was going to be my new home and got out.

"Come on," I said grabbing his hand. "Let's go check this place out."

Rosalie had sent me the keys two weeks ago. We climbed the stairs and let ourselves in to the apartment. It was sparsely furnished, but huge. I glanced down the hall, the door was closed, a sign taped to it declared that it was Rosalie's room.

"Hello?" I called. I expected her to be here. No one answered. "Well I guess my room is over here." I walked across the living room and looked down the second hallway. A sign taped to the second door announced that was "Bella's room." I smiled and walked down the hall. Sure enough all the stuff that sat in storage for the last two years was piled in the center of the room.

"Lovely," I muttered, entering the room. From the looks of it, I had a lot to do before Monday. I turned to look at Embry, who was looking around the brightly lit space. "Well. I guess we should get my stuff out of the truck, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, still looking around.

We made four trips to the truck to get my things. Embry stayed and helped me put my bed together. I unpacked all my clothes and hung my pictures on the wall while he fought a losing battle against the headboard and an Allen wrench.

The moon chased the sun out over the west and my room was starting to look like a room. "You should stay up here tonight, then drive down to Gainesville in the morning," I told him as we ate pizza on the floor of my room.

"I guess I could do that. Sure you got enough room in that bed for the both of us?"

I smiled and crawled across the room, planting a pepperoni flavored kiss on his face. "I absolutely have enough room in that bed for you. And I absolutely love you. Just want you to know that."

He kissed my nose. "I absolutely love you too. I'll stay the night, then head out tomorrow. Does that make you happy?"

I snagged another slice of pizza out of the open box and sat down. "Immensely."


End file.
